Hey, if you could do it all over again, do you think there's a future where you didn't pull the trigger?
It was my very first mission, right after being exiled from the Ark and descending to the surface. The sky was its usual blanket of gray clouds. In that hellish place, with the grinding metallic sounds of Raptures echoing from the ruins, I met her.
Her name was Marian. A Nikke with her silver hair in a ponytail and a smile so gentle it was blinding, she was my first partner. She never calle
NIKKE: The Unchosen Choice - Marian's IF - I won't let go of your hand, even if you pull the trigger.
Ryou kept walking, following Glen's back.
The mountain path toward the Blinkwall Range stretched endlessly beneath the gray sky. The wreckage of ruined buildings grew sparse, replaced by withered shrubs and cracked rocks. The wind was cold, carrying the scent of dry earth mixed with machine oil.
On his back, he carried Marian.
Her body was light. She was supposed to have an alloy skeleton, yet now she felt like a doll that had lost all its strength. Her long silver hair draped over Ryou's shoulder, swaying gently in the occasional breeze. The scrap of coat wrapped around her left arm was already soiled and gray.
Her link band flickered erratically.
[[Corrupt Seed Erosion in Progress]]
[[Transition from Stage One to Stage Two Detected]]
[[Abnormal Values in Emotion Control Module]]
"[cold]Hurry up."
Glen spoke without looking back. The massive sniper rifle slung over his shoulder clacked with every step. His short, graying hair ruffled in the wind, and the old scar on his right temple stood out in the dim light.
"[worried]Yeah…"
Ryou clenched his teeth. His thighs were screaming. After three days without a proper meal, carrying Marian through the mountains was too much. But he couldn't stop.
The link band's warning intensified.
[[Erosion Has Progressed to Stage Two]]
"[scared]…ah."
From his back, Marian's voice came.
A small, breathless sound.
"Marian?"
Ryou stopped and tried to gently lower her to the ground. But Marian's body was trembling faintly.
"[gentle]I'm… okay…"
She tried to smile.
Lifting the corners of her mouth, just a little.
But—the movement lagged.
One second.
The smile arrived one second late.
Her expression wouldn't obey her will.
"That's… weird."
Marian tried to smile again.
This time, it was even more off. The edge of her mouth twitched spasmodically, and her eyes lost focus for a moment. Like noise running through her blue irises.
"My face… won't listen to me."
Her voice was still gentle.
But mixed into it was a faint mechanical sound. A *bzzzt* of electronic static.
"[cold]The erosion's reached her facial control systems."
Glen turned around and stared at Marian's face. His gray eyes remained cold, but his brows furrowed ever so slightly.
"[cold]This is Stage Two. Emotion control starts breaking down bit by bit. Right now it's just her facial muscles, but soon it'll spread to her whole body."
Ryou gripped Marian's hand.
Her cold fingers trembled faintly.
"[worried]I'll figure something out."
Even as he said it, he knew it was an irresponsible thing to say. Figure something out? With what? There was no officially recognized treatment for Corrupt Seed.
But.
"[gentle]…Yeah, partner."
Marian said it with that delayed smile.
---
They pressed on through the mountain path.
Spotting a rocky outcrop, Glen said a curt "Rest." Ryou gently leaned Marian against the rock and collapsed onto the ground himself. He was out of breath. His thighs were swollen, his knees shaking.
"[cold]Drink. And take this."
Glen tossed over a hard biscuit and a crumpled canteen. Ryou caught the canteen, opened it, and took a mouthful of water. Lukewarm. But just having his throat moistened felt like a blessing.
"[worried]Marian, can you drink?"
He held the canteen out to her.
Marian nodded slightly and reached out to take it—
At that moment.
"…………heh."
A laugh leaked from her mouth.
Low, mechanical, meaningless laughter.
"Hehe… heh…………"
Marian pressed both hands over her own mouth. Her blue eyes widened, desperately staring at Ryou. Trying to convey *I'm sorry* with her gaze alone.
But the laughter wouldn't stop.
"Hehehe… hehe…………"
Her throat vibrated in a mechanical rhythm. As if someone was borrowing her vocal cords to laugh.
"[scared]Marian!!"
Ryou grabbed her shoulders. Her slender shoulders trembled in fine spasms. Her silver hair was disheveled, plastered to her forehead with sweat.
"Do you recognize me?! It's Ryou!!"
"He… hehe………… Ryou…………"
Her mouth tried to shape his name. But it was immediately drowned out by the laughter. Independent of her will, her vocal cords kept laughing on their own.
(*What the hell is this…*)
Ryou felt his own hands shaking.
(*She's laughing… at a time like this… why…*)
"[cold]Calm down, kid."
Glen's hand clamped onto Ryou's shoulder. His rough fingers dug in hard.
"[cold]This is a classic Stage Two symptom. Emotion control breaks down, causing involuntary vocalizations. It's not just laughter. She might start crying, or speaking in words she doesn't know. It's all just the corrupted electronic brain running wild."
"[angry]That's…!!"
"[cold]It's the truth."
Glen's voice was flat.
"[cold]What do you think the next symptom is? Aggression. Once emotion control breaks, she won't be able to tell friend from foe. The moment she identifies you as an enemy, that girl will kill you."
"He… hehe………… sor… ry…………"
Between the bursts of laughter, a faint apology slipped through.
Still pressing both hands over her mouth, large tears spilled from her eyes. Laughing, and crying at the same time. The sight was unbearably painful.
(*I can't laugh… how could anyone laugh at this…*)
Ryou embraced her.
Her thin body trembled along with the laughter.
"[gentle]It's okay… it's going to be okay…"
Words with no basis.
But he had no choice but to say them.
Eventually, the laughter cut off abruptly.
Marian went limp in Ryou's arms, breathing raggedly. Her silver hair was soaked with sweat.
"[weak]…Sorry, partner. That wasn't… me."
Her voice was hoarse.
"[gentle]Don't apologize. It's not your fault."
Ryou gently patted her back.
Glen watched the two of them in silence. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then stopped. Instead, he pulled a battered cigarette from his pocket and lit it. The smoke dissolved into the gray sky.
---
Night came.
The nights in the Blinkwall Range were far darker than the Ark's underground. There were no stars, no moon—only low-hanging gray clouds. Every time the wind blew through the gaps in the rocks, it made a sound like a whistling flute.
The three of them huddled together in the shelter of the rocks.
Glen had built a small campfire. There was a risk of Raptures spotting it, but in this darkness and cold, they would freeze without fire. The orange flames faintly illuminated their faces.
Marian lay in a shallow sleep, her head resting on Ryou's lap. After the earlier episode, she was severely drained. Occasionally, her eyebrows twitched, and her lips murmured meaningless words. Unknown words. Mechanical language he'd never heard before. Proof that the erosion was gradually rewriting her electronic brain.
"[cold]Get some sleep, kid."
Glen spoke from across the campfire. He sat with his back against the rock, cradling his sniper rifle. His graying hair was dyed orange by the firelight, and the old scar on his right temple looked deeper.
"Like I could sleep."
"[cold]If you don't sleep, you'll collapse. Then who's going to carry the girl?"
"…I know."
He knew. But he couldn't sleep.
He gently stroked Marian's hair. The silver strands were cold, slipping smoothly through his fingers. Her sleeping face looked just like an ordinary girl's. She didn't look like a weapon. She just looked like a kind person, someone who suited a gentle smile.
(*Why did it come to this?*)
Ryou bit his lip.
---
Late at night.
The campfire had dwindled, and the surroundings were nearly swallowed by darkness.
That was when—
*Beep.*
The band on Marian's left wrist glowed faintly.
The link band reacted.
[[Warning: Hostile Response Detected from Connected NIKKE]]
[[Abnormal Values in Electronic Brain Identification Module]]
[[Friend-Foe Identification Function: Collapsed]]
Ryou's head snapped up.
Marian was slowly rising.
Her movements were stiff. As if she were being controlled by someone else.
"[scared]…Marian?"
Her blue eyes fixed on Ryou—
Those eyes slowly, slowly, stained red.
The blue irises were consumed by red light from within. Like blood mixing into water. Soon, both eyes were fully lit in red, and every trace of human expression vanished from her face.
"…Target, confirmed."
The voice that came from her mouth was not Marian's.
Low, inorganic—the pseudo-personality voice of a Rapture.
Her right hand slowly reached for the holster at her hip. *Click.* The sound of the holster's clasp coming undone. The gun was drawn. The black barrel glinted dully, reflecting the embers of the campfire.
"[scared]Marian… stop…!!"
A strangled voice escaped Ryou's throat.
His legs wouldn't move.
As if he were paralyzed, his body was frozen stiff.
The muzzle was aimed at Ryou's forehead.
But—Marian's hand was trembling.
The barrel wavered in tiny jerks. Her right hand gripped the gun, but her left hand was desperately grabbing her right wrist, trying to force the gun down. As if two wills were fighting within a single arm.
"[crying]…run… away…"
Marian's voice returned for just a moment.
With her eyes still red, tears overflowed.
"[crying]Partner… run away… just leave me already…"
Her finger touched the trigger.
*Click.*
A flashback tore through Ryou's mind.
—One year ago.
—Another NIKKE had aimed a gun at him the same way.
—Eroded, crying, saying, *Commander, please run.*
—Ryou had run.
—Behind him, a gunshot. The sound of the NIKKE self-destructing.
—Ever since that night, Ryou had kept running.
"[scared]…………ah."
A meaningless sound leaked from Ryou's mouth.
His knees shook violently. His breathing was shallow and rapid. The edges of his vision darkened, and only Marian's red eyes remained terrifyingly vivid.
(*Again.*)
(*I'm going to run again.*)
(*Just like that time.*)
(*Because I hesitated, because I couldn't make a decision—*)
"[angry]Make a decision, right now!!"
Glen's hand grabbed Ryou's shoulder from behind, hard.
Hard enough to make his bones creak.
"[angry]She's suffering because *you* won't decide!! Pretending to be kind while doing the cruelest thing possible—that's you!!"
Glen's voice shook with anger.
But it wasn't just anger at Ryou.
It was anger at himself, too.
The night he lost a NIKKE fifteen years ago. He had stood in the same place. He had felt the same hesitation. And he had pulled the trigger. He had lived all this time telling himself that was the right thing to do.
"[angry]Put her out of her misery!! That's your job!! If you're a commander, take responsibility to the very end!!"
The words stabbed into Ryou like blades.
Ryou fell to his knees.
He put his hands on the ground, his fingers clutching at pebbles. Sand dug under his nails.
(*If I hadn't been there.*)
(*If I hadn't hesitated.*)
(*If I had just been faster—*)
In his head, the gunshot from that night repeated. *Bang. Bang. Bang.* The sound of a NIKKE self-destructing. She had asked for help, and he had run. He had sworn he wouldn't run this time, and yet he was doing the same thing—.
"[crying]Please… put me out of my misery…"
Marian's voice begged through her tears.
The muzzle was still aimed at Ryou. But her left hand was desperately gripping her right wrist, resisting, refusing to let it pull the trigger. Trying to stop herself with her own will.
"[crying]Because… I don't want… to kill my partner…"
Tears spilled from her red eyes.
The moment he saw that—
Something inside Ryou snapped.
His vision went white.
Before he knew it, his body was moving.
He had grabbed Marian's right wrist.
"—Like hell I'll let you!!"
It was a shout so loud he barely recognized his own voice.
He gripped Marian's slender wrist with both hands. Cold alloy skin. Her fingers opened in surprise, and the gun fell to the ground. *Clatter.* The dry sound was swallowed by the darkness of the night.
"[crying]Leaving you behind and running… I've regretted it my whole life…!!"
Tears spilled from Ryou's eyes.
His voice trembled, breaking apart.
"[crying]That night… I ran…!! Not just you—another NIKKE, the same thing…!! Because I hesitated, because I couldn't make a decisio