The Demon Lord Zerg's World Conquest Plan Derailed by Incompetent Subordinates - The conference room is a battlefield again today

The circular hole in the wall of the Demon's Wailing Drill Grounds remained unsealed even after nightfall. Zaagu glanced at it in passing through the corridor. Thirty centimeters in diameter. It pierced straight through the stone wall. A hastily scrawled notice beside it read "Golf Practice in Progress——Gorufa" in letters that could hardly be called elegant. Ever since seeing that handwriting, an uneasy feeling had taken root deep in his chest, and it still hadn't faded by this morning. (Today's meeting. Stay calm.) Zaagu returned to the throne room "Void Hall"——a grand chamber fifteen meters high——and placed the 120-page report he'd meticulously reorganized the night before onto his desk. He sat in his chair. His jet-black hair was tied back, and his golden eyes fixed on the door. Last night he'd visited all 350 subordinates' rooms and personally handed each one the "Second Executive Summons." The date was today. The time was now. He'd even read it aloud in front of everyone to ensure no one misread the characters. This time, they would come. Zaagu remained facing forward, utterly motionless. The demon lord's crest on his forehead quietly reflected the light in the room. The ancient script patterns carved into both arms, the perfectly proportioned muscular frame. Everything about him radiated flawless majesty today. A stone creaked somewhere. Then——footsteps like distant thunder approached from the corridor. (He's here.) Thud-thud-thud. The floor trembled faintly. He could tell. These weren't human footsteps. 210 centimeters, an estimated 150-plus kilos——the footsteps of a red oni. Gorufa. No doubt about it. The footsteps stopped before the door. Then——came the sound of something charging forward. CRASH!!!!! "……" Zaagu didn't blink. A dull sound echoed from the corridor side. The door was intact. Gorufa's shoulder width was apparently about twenty percent too narrow for the doorframe, so both shoulders had caught and stopped him. After a moment of silence came a scraping sound. A step back. (He's taking a running start.) Zaagu quietly gripped the handle of his throne staff "Cadus of Finality." A staff of black obsidian. Just in case. As a precaution. THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD!!!!!!! CRASH-CRASH-CRASH-CRASH-CRASH-CRASH!!!!!!! The door flew off its hinges. A human-shaped hole opened in the stone wall. Dust billowed up dramatically. A massive silhouette stood in the haze——short hair burning red, eyes burning red, brilliant red horns crowning his head, a golf tattoo carved into his arm. In his right hand, gripped firmly, was an iron club——which he insisted was a "One Iron" golf club. Gorufa, covered in dust, snapped to attention with a salute. "My apologies———!!" His voice was enormous. The entire room resonated. Zaagu slowly surveyed the remains of the blown-off door. The hinges had flown three meters away. A perfect human-shaped hole had been carved into the stone wall. "The cost of repairs comes out of your salary." His voice was quiet. Controlled, measured. "Understood, sir!" Gorufa nodded immediately. No hesitation. Zero seconds. "……Aren't you going to ask how much?" "How much is it?" Zaagu paused for a moment. Stone wall repairs, hinge replacement, new door construction——the standard price for stone materials at Zolgarun Dark Castle, imported from the Kazalook Trade Federation, was…… "……Stone at 500 zeld, hinges at 120, door fabrication fee——" (Why am I calculating repair costs?) Zaagu closed his mouth. An odd silence hung over the hall. Gorufa was grinning. Dust drifted slowly downward. "……Sit." "Yes, sir!!" ──────────────────────── Gorufa took his seat. The chair screamed. A creaking sound echoed through the room, but it somehow held. Zaagu turned the first page of the report. The blackboard displayed the same color-coded invasion route map as yesterday. A carefully drawn map with arrows running from northern Seraphia to the southern Kazalook Trade Federation. "Then we begin. Today's agenda is——" Gorufa leaned forward. He rested his thick elbows on the desk and pushed himself up. The chair screamed again. "Lord Zaagu!! I got an eagle at yesterday's practice in the Demon's Wailing Drill Grounds!!!" Zaagu's hand stopped. "……An eagle." "It's a golf score! Two strokes under par for the hole. This doesn't happen often! First time in 300 years!!" His eyes were shining. Truly shining. The red oni's crimson eyes burned with joy. Zaagu paused, then spoke quietly. "——The agenda is world conquest." "Oh, yes, sir!!" Gorufa straightened up. Good, he understood. Zaagu stood before the blackboard and pointed to the invasion route map. "From northern Seraphia——" "Oh, speaking of the north! The hills in that area have the best grass quality, I hear!?" Zaagu's finger froze in mid-air. "……Golf." "I heard from the elders of the oni territory Gardom that the grasslands of northern Seraphia have uniform natural turf, and the driver feel is——" "It's about negotiations with Kazalook." Zaagu changed the subject. Immediately. The Trade Federation Kazalook——a commercial nation-state comprising seven autonomous cities in the southern central continent. Profit-first pragmatists; with proper negotiation, they could become a funding source. "Kazalook has the best selection of carbon shafts on the continent, right!? I've always wanted to visit their golf equipment shop!!" A blue vein appeared at the corner of Zaagu's eye. "……It's about military applications of root vein sorcery." The earth's ley lines "Root Veins"——the source of magical power woven throughout the Valgrant world. If utilized militarily, it could become considerable military strength. Zaagu began explaining carefully. "If we increase the initial velocity of the ball with magic, wouldn't the distance increase dramatically!?!?" "……That's golf talk." "It's military application!! With optimal volume-to-magic-power ratios——" BANG!! Zaagu slammed the desk. But the stone desk was thick, and because the impact area of his fist was small——it only made a soft patting sound. Gorufa continued as if nothing had happened. Zaagu stared at his palm. It was slightly red. (The desk is too hard.) He regrouped. Zaagu turned back to the blackboard and tried a different approach. The hero party "Brigade of Dawn"——the four-person group officially recognized by the Holy Kingdom of Seraphia, aiming to defeat the demon lord. Understanding their movements was urgent. "Regarding the Brigade of Dawn's route analysis——" "The Brigade! It's more fun to go around 18 holes with four people than alone, right!? Golf's basic formation is four people——" "That's——" "But recently my records show I'm more stable scoring when I play solo rounds——" "Listen." BANG!! Second desk slam. This time he used his whole palm. The sound was slightly louder, but it was still a stone desk, so it wasn't much. And his hand hurt. Gorufa looked bewildered. "The one iron of the oni is not a golf club but a club." He spoke quietly but clearly. Gorufa's eyes filled with completely lucid light. Clear, unwavering crimson eyes. "The one iron is a golf club, though?" Zaagu looked up at the heavens. Stone patterns decorated the ceiling. Gray stone. Cool air. Fifteen meters high. (After 800 years of getting this far, must I start by defining the difference between a golf club and a club?) ──────────────────────── "I want you to see my form!!" Gorufa stood up. The chair screamed——this time one leg snapped. Gorufa set the broken chair aside and drew the one iron from his waist. An iron club——120 centimeters long, estimated 40 kilos——gripped in both hands, he took a swing stance. "You're swinging in here?" "Indoor swing practice is important——" Just then. A soft sound came from somewhere in the floor. A blue mass crawled up from beneath Gorufa's feet. Pruni. A semi-transparent blue slime——a species that expressed emotion through color, living in the damp rooms of the first basement level——had somehow made its way up to the Void Hall. Gorufa didn't notice. He was focused on his form. Pruni took the opportunity to climb up Gorufa's leg and in a flash adhered to the tip of his red horn. Gorufa began his swing. WHOOSH!!! "Uooooooooooooori————!!!!" Centrifugal force exploded. Pruni at the horn's tip traced a massive arc at incredible speed. Pruni's color changed——from blue (normal) to pink (happy??) and immediately to yellow-green (confused), then to red (angry). WHOOSH!! WHOOSH!! WHOOSH!! Two swings, three swings. Pruni spun around the horn's tip. When the red-dyed Pruni reached its limit——with a snap, Pruni detached from the horn. It flew in a straight line at tremendous speed. And struck Zaagu's chest with a thud. "……" Zaagu and Pruni stared at each other at point-blank range. Pruni shifted happily back to pink. Trembling with joy, it tried to stick to his face. Zaagu quickly raised both hands and caught Pruni just in time. Pruni quivered in his palm. Warm. "Calm down." Pruni trembled. Whether it was calm or not was unclear, but it apparently abandoned its attempt to stick to his face. Gorufa continued swinging and casually glanced back. "Oh, Pruni was here?" "Notice." He replied without hesitation. Gorufa laughed "ahaha" and took another swing. WHOOSH!! The sound echoed through the Void Hall. "Stop swinging." "Oh, yes, sir!" Gorufa lowered the one iron. And——straightened his posture. The air around him changed. Different from the natural brightness of before, something quieter settled around the large body. "……Lord Zaagu." His tone of voice had changed. Zaagu looked up while watching Pruni in his palm. "Do you remember 800 years ago?" "I remember." "When my horns were still yellow——I wanted to be a warrior, so I pushed my way here from Gardom." Zaagu said nothing. Pruni slowly shifted back to blue. "You didn't turn me away." The oni territory Gardom valued martial prowess. Yellow horns were the mark of a young individual. Red horns——the highest rank of warrior class——came later, when still rough around the edges. That Gorufa was smaller than now. Yet he'd still destroyed some door and pushed his way in, just like today. Zaagu held that memory. Clearly. "So I'm here." Silence fell. The high ceiling of the Void Hall absorbed it. Gorufa suddenly laughed. Back to his full, massive grin. "If there's a golf course, I'd go anywhere!!" Zaagu, after a long silence, lowered his gaze to Pruni. On his palm, Pruni glowed quietly blue. Slowly, rhythmically, like breathing. "……Delete only those unnecessary three characters." His voice was barely audible. Not anger. Not emotion either. Something different, something without a name. Gorufa paused for a moment, then said, "Yes." For the first time today, he answered with just one word. ──────────────────────── A quiet time followed. Zaagu set Pruni down on the edge of the desk and picked up the 120-page report. He turned the cover. First item: Seraphia Conquest Strategy. A carefully color-coded map spread open. "Then, to begin again——we start with reconnaissance." Gorufa straightened his posture. "Gather intelligence on Seraphia's borders." "The border!! I've been there!! The grasslands in the north——" Zaagu stood without a word. He closed the 120-page report carefully. Slowly. Checking each page. "Tomorrow, we go to the border together." Gorufa's face lit up brilliantly. "Understood, sir!! Then I'll go practice my swings———!!" He turned on his heel with energy. Heading straight for the direction he'd come——the human-shaped hole in the stone wall. THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD!!!!!!! CRASH-CRASH-CRASH-CRASH-CRASH-CRASH!!!!!!! Another section of stone wall opened with a hole. Zaagu waited for the roar to subside before speaking quietly. "……The repair costs have increased." Silence returned to the Void Hall. Pruni trembled on the ed

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Episode 2

Name: The Demon Lord Zerg's World Conquest Plan Derailed by Incompetent Subordinates
Author: Novelia

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