Neon Genesis Evangelion IF: Zeruel's Question, and My Answer... - Before the world ends

NERV Headquarters, Command Center. The air was heavy as lead, and only the operators' fingertips moved mechanically. The pale blue light of the monitors illuminated everyone's faces like corpses. Katsuragi Misato stared at the document displayed on the main screen as if boring holes through it. *SEELE Council — Highest Priority Directive* *The Human Instrumentality Project will now enter its final phase.* *NERV will henceforth place all functions under direct SEELE control.* *Unit-01 is to be frozen immediately, and its pilot quarantined.* Her waist-length black hair trembled faintly. In her large brown eyes, which always betrayed her emotions, the words of the document blurred and swam. "Are they... serious about this?" Hyuga Makoto turned around, his face pale. "The directive is authentic. All council members' signatures are on it... and there's this attached footage." The screen switched. Displayed was a single boy. Silver hair, red eyes. A face still bearing traces of innocence, quietly smiling at the camera. "The Fifth Child, Nagisa Kaworu. He will be accepted into NERV as of today. He is the final key to the Human Instrumentality Project." Fuyutsuki Kouzou's voice was as calm as ever. But to Misato, it sounded distant, as if coming from far away. *(The final key...)* A chill seeped through her chest. "Where is he now?" "In a meeting with the Commander. He is already inside this headquarters." Misato bit her lip. Something had decisively begun to move. She understood it in her head, but her body couldn't keep up. "...What about Shinji-kun? What happens to Unit-01?" Fuyutsuki paused for just a moment, then spoke flatly. "Unit-01 will be removed from the Command Center's control and transferred to the lowest-level isolation facility, Bardiel. The pilot, Ikari Shinji, will also be confined there." Misato felt the blood drain from her fingertips. The lowest-level isolation facility, Bardiel. A solitary cell surrounded by two-meter-thick special armor, built to withstand an Angel's intrusion. There was no way to see the outside world. Once put in there, she wouldn't even know what was happening anymore. "Don't screw with me!" Her voice echoed through the Command Center. The operators collectively held their breath. But Fuyutsuki's expression didn't change. "This is SEELE's decision. Your resistance alone will change nothing. Or do you intend to drag Shinji-kun out by yourself again and run off somewhere this time?" Misato's fists trembled. *(Again, I...)* Just like that time. When Shinji was about to be taken to the Technical Division, she'd forcibly brought him back to her home. Back then, she still had her own house as a refuge. But this time— "So none of my opinions matter? And while we're at it, the world just ends?" Fuyutsuki didn't answer. He only shook his head quietly. A dim corridor. Ikari Shinji walked, flanked by two Security Division officers. White walls, low ceilings, the ceaseless hum of ventilation fans. The deeper underground they went, the colder and heavier the air became. *(It's just like that day.)* When he'd almost been taken to the Technical Division for testing. But back then, Misato-san had come to save him. This time— Shinji's black hair still had its usual slight bedhead, and his deep brown eyes wavered restlessly. Beneath his white shirt, the fourteen-year-old boy's shoulders trembled faintly. The colors of emotion he'd been able to see ever since fusing with Zeruel now flowed from the hearts of the accompanying security officers as a murky, blackish gray. *(These people too... they're just following orders, taking me away.)* They were afraid as well. Afraid of touching a boy who had fused with an Angel. Before long, the elevator to the lowest level opened. Bardiel. Beyond the iron bars. Shinji was pushed into the room. Behind him came the sound of a heavy door closing. *Clunk.* The lights went out. Pitch black. No outside scenery, no sign of people, nothing. Shinji slowly sat down on the cold floor. *(Ah...)* For the first time since the battle with Zeruel, he was completely alone. He couldn't see the colors of emotion. He couldn't feel anyone's heart. Only the sound of his own breathing was swallowed by the darkness. "Misato-san..." He thought if he said it aloud, he might feel a little better. But there was no reply. NERV Headquarters, Commander's Office. The Tree of Sephirot painted on the ceiling emerged in the dim lighting. Ikari Gendou sat with his hands folded, as always. Before him stood a silver-haired boy. Nagisa Kaworu. His red eyes reflected Gendou's expressionless face. "Where is Ikari Shinji-kun right now?" Kaworu's voice was quiet and clear, like the bell of an old church. "You already know. What is your objective?" Kaworu smiled softly. "My objective is just one thing. To meet Ikari Shinji-kun and witness his choice. His way of choosing, his way of living—all of it will determine the world's course." Gendou's expression didn't so much as twitch. But Kaworu seemed to already see through what lay beneath it. "Commander Ikari. Your plan and SEELE's plan ultimately return to the same place. But you see, the one who holds the final key is neither me nor you. It's Ikari Shinji-kun." Kaworu slowly turned his back. "I'm going to see him. Just moving my schedule up a little." Gendou said nothing more. That night. From beyond Bardiel's iron bars came the faint sound of footsteps. Shinji raised his face in the darkness. The footsteps were steady, without hesitation. Then a figure stood before the iron bars. "Shinji-kun, are you there?" Her voice was so small it seemed about to break into tears. The center of Shinji's chest grew faintly warm. "Misato-san... why are you here?" "The official reason is a health check on the prisoner. The real reason is I just came to see your face." Through the iron bars, he could see the colors of Misato's emotions. A deep blue of anxiety and a red will to protect Shinji regardless, all tangled together in a mess. "Surprised? That I came." "...A little. But... I believed you would come." Misato gripped the iron bars. "I absolutely cannot forgive them for locking you up in here. Whether as the Operations Director or as just some ordinary woman, I can't abandon you." Her voice was trembling. "I've handled the entire surveillance network. I can create a gap for just a few minutes. So we're getting out of here now. Even if we can't make it outside NERV, if we use these underground passages, we can reach a safe location." Misato quietly unlocked the iron bars. The *click* echoed unnaturally loud. She extended her right hand. "Let's run. Together." Shinji stared at that hand. *(If I take this hand...)* He'd be dragging Misato-san into danger again. But— *(If I don't take it, I'll never see her again.)* Shinji hesitated for just an instant. Then he placed his trembling hand over hers. "Yes... together." Misato's hand was cold. But her fingertips gripped his hand tightly in return. The two of them stepped into the dim passageway. ...It was right after that. Suddenly, alarms throughout NERV Headquarters blared deafeningly. Red rotating lights dyed the corridor. "What...!?" The PA system announced in a tense voice: *"Emergency situation. The Strategic Self-Defense Force is deploying around NERV Headquarters. All personnel, assume combat positions."* The blood drained from Misato's face. "The Strategic Self-Defense Force...!? No way, already... SEELE is serious about crushing NERV." Multiple explosions could be heard in the distance. The walls of the underground passage trembled minutely from the shockwaves. "We're running, Shinji-kun!" Misato pulled Shinji's hand and broke into a sprint. Shinji desperately moved his legs too. Behind them, the sound of collapsing walls pursued. Along the way, Misato found an emergency underground shelter door and pried it open. "Get in!" She pushed Shinji in first, then slipped in herself. The next instant, beyond the door, the ceiling collapsed and steel beams bent and twisted. A roar. And then, complete closure. Inside the shelter, it was pitch black. A single emergency light flickered faintly red. "Misato-san...!" "I'm fine, we're safe... for now." The two of them gasped for breath. No more sounds came from outside. No bombing, no voices, not even communication static. "Communications are completely down..." Misato operated her handheld terminal, but the screen was nothing but noise. The two of them sat down in the darkness, backs against the wall. Geofront, Evangelion Unit-02 Hangar. On top of the red machine sat a small figure. Souryuu Asuka Langley. Her bright brown hair, tied in twintails, was disheveled with sweat. Her blue eyes were wide open, staring at something. At the phantom of her mother. "Mama... look, I can win. I'll pilot the Eva... so look at me!" Her voice echoed off the hangar's cold walls and faded away. Unit-02's movements were abnormally sluggish. "Don't abandon me... don't leave me alone... look, Mama, I'm..." The maintenance crew stared up from below the hangar, faces pale. "This is beyond our limit. The unit isn't even moving at a third of its normal capacity." "More importantly, the pilot's mental state is dangerous. At this rate, Unit-02 will go berserk again." No one could safely bring her down. Unit-02's eyes flickered an eerie red. "Look at me... don't abandon me...!!" Her scream echoed deep into the hangar, endlessly. Underground Shelter. Had time passed, or had only a few minutes gone by? Shinji couldn't tell. He could only see, in the darkness, the colors of Misato's emotions slowly stagnating. Fear. Regret. And deep sorrow. "Misato-san... there's something I want to ask." Shinji spoke into the darkness. "If I try to live, does everyone die?" Misato's breathing stopped for a moment. "The more I pilot the Eva, fight, and try to live... the more Angels come, cities get destroyed, and people die. Because I fused with Zeruel, because I have that power, my father tries to use me. It feels like whenever I move, the world breaks apart." That's right. What he'd felt back then, in the battle with Zeruel. The more he tried to fight, the greater the destruction became. After a long silence, Misato quietly opened her mouth. "I'm the same as you. I think about it too. The more orders I give, the more people die. Even when I tried to live, my father died and the city burned. But... even so, there's nothing to do but keep moving forward." Misato's voice seemed to be gazing into the distance. "During Second Impact, my father didn't come back because he put me on the lifeboat. ...At that time, my father said to me: 'Live.'" The colors of her emotions were staining blue and black. "Those were the last words I received from him. I've lived all this time carrying those words like a curse. But you know, now I think... that person truly just wanted me to live." Misato's voice grew faintly wet. "...Shinji-kun, you need to live too. A child who boarded an Eva to die has no business dying caught up in the end of the world, right?" In the darkness, she moved. He could tell just from her presence. Both arms wrapped around Shinji's back. Misato held him tightly. Her tears fell hot onto the nape of his neck. "You're my... precious... family. So live. That's my... final wish as your guardian." Shinji wrapped his arms around Misato's back. *(Ah.)* I— I wouldn't have minded dying. Ever since I started piloting the Eva, somewhere in my heart, I'd always thought that. I want to be praised. I want to be acknowledged. But if that's impossible, then I wouldn't mind disappearing. It's different now. He understood that clearly. *(I want to live.)* He still couldn't articulate the reason. He just didn't want to lose this warmth. It was at that moment. Something flowed directly into his mind.

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Episode 5

Name: Neon Genesis Evangelion IF: Zeruel's Question, and My Answer...
Author: Novelia

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