In Aki Rosenthal's Shadow: Feria's Secret Confession
A slightly strange school where Hololive talents attend. The popular Aki Rosenthal is everyone's idol, always having fun. But right next to her is always her best friend, Feria. Feria adores Aki. But that 'adoration' isn't just friendship. Deep down, she's secretly in love with her.
One day, a popular boy at school confesses his feelings to Aki. Watching that, Feria feels her heart shatter. 'I have to support her... as her best friend.' She thinks that, but inside she's a mess. Jealousy, sadnes
In Aki Rosenthal's Shadow: Feria's Secret Confession - The Resolve to Run, and a Twilight Promise
Inside the futon, it was still dark.
Feria curled up, hugging her knees, and closed her eyes. On the back of her eyelids, yesterday's scenes flickered and faded.
The Solami stage. The sunset. Mizuki's cold eyes.
—*Keep playing the good best friend.*
Every time that voice echoed deep in her ears, the center of her chest tightened painfully. The sensation of her blood freezing the moment he read that letter came rushing back.
Her phone vibrated. She reached out from a gap in the futon and looked at the screen.
A message from Aki.
*"Feria, good morning! Is your stomach okay? Don't push yourself. Want me to buy you some rice porridge?"*
Tracing the words with her eyes, Feria bit her lip.
(*Why are you so kind?*)
The kindness hurt. The concern was painful. Aki didn't know anything. That the letter where she'd poured out her feelings for Aki had been read by that man. That she'd been threatened with it as a shield, and now she couldn't say a word.
Her fingers trembled, unable to type a reply. She just marked it as read and shoved the phone under her pillow.
From outside the window, the bustle of the school festival drifted in.
In the distance, someone was laughing. Voices calling out from the mock shops. The light music club's performance faintly rode the wind.
Everyone was having fun. Aki, Mizuki — they were probably in the classroom, preparing the haunted house.
She alone was curled up here.
(*I'm sorry, Aki.*)
(*I really can't go after all.*)
Tears welled up, chilling the pillow. She pressed her face into it and stifled her voice.
—Just then, her phone vibrated again.
This time, it was different.
At the name displayed on the screen, Feria's fingers stopped.
Hinata Yuu.
*"Waiting in the literature club room. Let's have some coffee or something."*
A short message. But its brevity, conversely, conveyed Yuu-senpai's quiet consideration. Not forcing her to talk, but not abandoning her either. That person's sense of distance.
Feria stared at the screen for a while, then slowly peeled off the futon.
It was cold.
★
Past noon, the hallway was hushed and still.
Everyone was probably in their classrooms or at the mock shops. Only the distant murmur told her this was the middle of the school festival.
Dragging her heavy feet, Feria headed for the club building, "Kazenone." Every time she climbed the stairs, her knees wobbled. Perhaps because she hadn't slept properly, the core of her head felt hazy and clouded.
She stood before the literature club room door.
Two deep breaths.
But the pounding in her heart wouldn't settle.
(*Yuu-senpai won't ask anything.*)
(*But that person sees through everything.*)
She opened the door.
The club room was quiet, only the afternoon light streaming in from the window illuminating the dusty air.
On the old sofa sat Yuu-senpai.
A short bob of bluish-black hair. The gesture of tucking her long bangs behind her ear. Her deep green eyes lifted from her book and looked at Feria. Behind the round glasses she only wore in the literature club room, those eyes narrowed slightly.
" You came. Sit down."
Without a word, Feria sat in her usual spot — the edge of the sofa.
The springs creaked, the old fabric accepting her body.
Yuu picked up a can of coffee from the side table and offered it to Feria. It was still warm. She must have bought it at the school store, "Hoshimaru."
" Want some?"
" ...Thank you."
She took the can. Her fingertips trembled faintly, and she fumbled with the pull tab. The bitter scent of caffeine passed through her nose. Taking a sip, the heat slid down her throat and settled in her stomach.
Her head cleared, just a little.
Yuu was looking at the dark circles under Feria's eyes and her gaunt cheeks. But she didn't press. She just gazed out at the bustle beyond the window together with her.
Silence filled the room.
But it wasn't a cold silence. The silence Yuu-senpai created was always warm. Waiting until she spoke. Not forcing it out. That sense of distance was precious right now.
How much time had passed?
Still clutching the can, Feria opened her mouth.
" Senpai... have you ever regretted something?"
Her voice was hoarse. She could tell herself.
Yuu's eyes widened slightly, then she quietly set her book down.
" Regret, huh."
She gazed out the window. From the direction of the schoolyard, someone's laughter rode the wind.
Yuu stood up and walked toward the bookshelf. Her fingers traced the spines. Slowly, as if searching for something.
Then, she pulled out a worn, old poetry collection.
The cover was faded, the gold-lettered title blurred. *Star Sand* — it read.
" Do you know this?"
Feria shook her head.
" A poetry collection I found in the library when I was a first-year. The author is unknown; it's probably a private edition."
Yuu opened the collection. From between the pages, a single letter fluttered down.
A white envelope. No address.
" You see... at the end of my second year, there was a senpai I liked."
Feria held her breath.
On Yuu's left ring finger, an old silver ring glinted. That ring she'd always wondered about — now, for the first time, she felt its meaning was given to her.
" A third-year who was graduating. The president of the literature club. The person who told me my first novel was 'good.' With just that one word, my world changed."
Yuu gently traced the letter with her finger.
" But I couldn't say it. I told myself it would end when she graduated, that it was just a student thing. And so I gave up."
" ...That letter is..."
" The letter I couldn't give her. Even now, I keep it tucked in this poetry collection, like this."
Yuu returned the letter to the pages of the collection and quietly closed the book. The faded gold letters lost their light again.
" But, Feria."
Yuu turned around. Her deep green eyes gazed straight at Feria.
" Deciding whether it ends — that's up to you. I thought it would end when she graduated. But it was different. I was the one who ended it. Because I did nothing, it ended without anything ever starting."
Feria's throat made a small, choked sound.
" The regret of losing something by doing nothing lingers far deeper than the pain of taking action and getting hurt. Even now, I sometimes see it in my dreams. 'If I had given her the letter back then...'"
Yuu's voice wasn't trembling.
But that very stillness, conversely, conveyed the strength of someone who had carried a wound for a long, long time.
" ...I..."
The can of coffee wavered in her hands.
Behind her eyes, a heat.
" I... to Aki... I put a letter about my feelings for Aki at the shrine. And then... Mizuki saw it."
Her voice trembled. Tears blurred Yuu's face.
" He read it. All of it. And then, he threatened me... told me not to tell Aki, not to get in the way... I... I can't do anything anymore...!"
The words spilled out as if a dam had broken.
" I'm scared of Aki hating me, so I lie, I force a smile, but I can't smile anymore, yesterday I lied about having a stomachache, and I've been in my futon the whole time...!"
The coffee can fell.
It hit the floor, a little of the contents splashing out. But Feria couldn't pick it up. Her knees trembled, her fingers trembled, the tears wouldn't stop.
" What should I do... I don't know anymore...!"
Only Feria's sobs echoed in the room.
Yuu listened in silence.
Then, she quietly approached and took Feria's hand.
Warm palms enveloped her cold fingers.
" Feria, you've suffered enough already."
" But...!"
" No 'but.' You wished for your best friend's happiness, hid your own feelings, were threatened for it, and carried it all alone. You don't need to blame yourself any more than that."
Yuu gently touched the ring on her left hand.
" You know, I still think about it. If I had given her the letter back then, even if I'd been rejected, maybe I could have moved forward properly. Maybe getting hurt was also necessary to move forward."
" ...Move forward."
" Yes. Regret stays with you forever. Wounds may heal someday, but regret doesn't disappear. The regret of doing nothing lingers far deeper than the regret of taking action."
Still holding Feria's hand, Yuu looked straight into her eyes.
" So, this time, it's your turn to run. For your own sake. To convey your feelings, in your own words."
Feria lifted her tear-streaked, messy face.
" ...What if Aki hates me?"
Her voice cracked.
" What if we're not best friends anymore? Losing Aki... that's what scares me the most."
That was the moment.
The school broadcast chime echoed through the club room.
*"—Today, at 6:30 PM, the post-festival campfire will be lit in front of Stella Arena. This is the final event of the Hoshizaki Festival, so everyone please—"*
Without waiting for the announcement to end, Yuu threw the window open.
The October wind flowed into the club room. The curtains swayed, and printouts on the desk fluttered up.
From the schoolyard, the murmur of students could be heard.
It was already evening. The sky was just beginning to tinge with crimson.
" Feria."
Standing by the window, looking down at the schoolyard, Yuu spoke.
" Isn't regret the scarier thing?"
Her voice was so quiet it almost vanished in the wind.
But those words landed right in the center of Feria's chest.
Heavy, with weight.
—*Isn't regret the scarier thing?*
(*I'm scared.*)
(*Aki hating me still scares me.*)
(*But...*)
Yuu-senpai's letter. Feelings she couldn't deliver. A regret that wouldn't disappear, no matter how many years passed.
Was she going to live carrying that same thing?
—*No.*
Feria clenched her fists.
" ...I..."
Her voice was just a little stronger than before.
" I'm going to talk to Aki. About Mizuki, about the letter... and then, my true feelings too. Everything."
Yuu turned from the window.
Her face, backlit by the sunset, smiled slightly.
" Finally, you've got a face that looks like you, Feria."
" ...Huh?"
" Your face when you've decided something head-on like that — it's your best look. So, go."
Yuu gave Feria's back a light push.
That hand was warm.
Feria downed the rest of the canned coffee on the desk in one go. It was lukewarm now, but strangely, the core of her body grew hot.
" Thank you, Yuu-senpai!"
She bowed her head and pushed the club room door open with force.
She dashed into the hallway.
She started running.
—To Stella Arena.
—To where Aki was.
—To deliver her own words.
Her footsteps echoed in the hallway. There was no hesitation there anymore.
★
Left behind in the literature club room, Yuu stood by the window, looking down at the schoolyard.
Feria's back disappeared into the shadow of the school building.
Her flaxen hair swayed with every stride. The pink ribbon tied to the braid on her right side glinted and sparkled in the sunset.
" This time, make sure you deliver it. That letter."
She murmured to no one in particular.
On her left ring finger, the silver ring flashed. Yuu returned to the bookshelf once more and picked up *Star Sand*. She opened the pages and gently touched her own unsent letter.
" I want you to live honestly — enough for the both of us."
The letter said nothing.
Only the texture of the old paper remained at her fingertips.
Outside the window, preparations for the campfire were beginning. Students were starting to gather in the schoolyard.
Among them, Yuu spotted Aki Rosenthal.
And standing beside her, the figure of Mizuki Shion.
Feria was running.
To Stella Arena, where those two were.
Yuu quietly closed the poetry collection.
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