The words I'd said to Tatsuya were still stuck in my head. "I didn't want to get caught up in your world." Tatsuya's face in that hallway. Those hazy blue eyes caught something for just one second, then it vanished. He walked away without saying anything, his platinum-blonde slicked-back hair still burned into the back of my mind. The isolation at school continued. When I took my seat in the morning, nobody said anything to me. Lunch was alone. Walking down the hallway, whispers followed. I sat by the window and opened my textbook, thinking, (Another long day.) Homeroom teacher Miyata came in just before the morning meeting started. "[serious] Alright, we have a transfer student today. Let's have them introduce themselves" Standing in front of the blackboard was a boy I'd never seen before. Black hair with red streaks woven through it in a two-tone short cut. Golden eyes swept across the classroom, and a smile formed with a small dimple on his left cheek. He was tall. Taller than anyone in the class by a head. "[excited] Hey, I'm Ryou Okada. Nice to meet you all—I hope we can get along" The classroom erupted. "[whispers] Wait, isn't he hot?" "[excited] A transfer student, it's been forever" The moment Ryou headed toward his seat, three girls swarmed him. He was surrounded in an instant. Ryou didn't look troubled at all, smiling and talking with every single one of them. You could tell he was used to it. I watched from my seat. (Another handsome guy...) That feeling from when I first chose Tatsuya came back a little. I wanted someone plain. I wanted a relationship I could calculate. That's what I thought back then. Now it's all messed up. I dropped my gaze back to my textbook. The next moment, something moved at the edge of my vision. Ryou had broken away from the group of girls and was scanning the classroom. Then he walked straight toward me—isolated, alone at my desk. (Wait, he's coming this way?) I tried to look away, but it was too late. Ryou stood right in front of me. "[gentle] Long time, Saki" I froze. "[surprised] ...Huh?" "[gentle] We were in the same class in elementary school, remember? Ryou Okada" I remembered. Fourth through sixth grade, we were in the same class the whole time. He was handsome back then too, popular with the girls. I'd always found it hard to talk to him. "[serious] ...Yeah, I remember" "[gentle] Good. Can we talk for a sec?" Ryou pulled out the chair next to me and sat down like it was the most natural thing in the world. "[gentle] I heard the rumors about the class" My hand stopped. "[gentle] That screenshot's definitely fake. You'd never write something like that. I know you, Saki" The weight of those days when nobody believed me lifted a little. My throat tightened. I bit my lip hard to keep from crying. "[serious] ...Why do you think that?" "[gentle] You've always seemed like you calculate everything, but you're actually the most honest person I know. I've known that about you for a long time" When he smiled, a dimple appeared on his left cheek. Just like when we were kids. I didn't have an answer. I just looked away out the window. Cloudy sky. I could feel cold wind coming from the direction of the Asahi River. --- Lunch break. In the empty classroom, I was opening a bread bag alone. "[serious] Is this seat okay?" I looked up. Ryou was standing there with a bento box. He was the type to ask first. "[serious] Go ahead" Ryou sat across from me and opened his bento. It was packed pretty neatly. "[gentle] You're entering the contest, right?" "[serious] Yeah, but... what about it?" "[gentle] I'll support you. Even with the class like this, the fact that you're going through with it is cool" I looked at Ryou's face while chewing my bread. He didn't look like he was lying. His eyes looked like he really meant it. "[serious] Why do you care so much?" Ryou looked up from his bento. Golden eyes met mine directly. "[serious] I'll be honest" There was a pause. "[serious] I've liked you for a long time, Saki. Since elementary school. When I found out you were at my new school... I thought I'd tell you properly this time" My hand stopped. "[serious] Things aren't going well with Tatsuya, right? Let's start over. I can make you happy the normal way" The word "normal" caught somewhere in my chest. I wanted a normal relationship. No black cars, no Kurogane Alliance executives, no one afraid of me because of who I was with. Just walking side by side. That was what I wanted at first. Ryou's offer was exactly that answer. But. (Something's off.) A voice in my head. Something I couldn't quite put into words was saying no. While I was searching for an answer, the door on the hallway side slowly opened. --- It was Tatsuya. Not his usual hazy expression. His blue eyes had already caught both of us. The small scar on his left cheek looked sharp in the light. The moment he saw Ryou, all the sleepiness vanished from Tatsuya's eyes. He approached slowly, but with certainty. The boys in the hallway instinctively stepped aside. They sensed the shift in Tatsuya's atmosphere on some primal level. Tatsuya stopped right beside Ryou. In a voice barely loud enough for the surroundings to hear, he said quietly: "Looks like you want to die" Ryou didn't flinch. He rested his arm on the back of his chair and looked up at Tatsuya. "[serious] You're the one making her cry" The classroom air changed. A girl in the distance let out a small "huh." Nobody in this school had ever talked back to Tatsuya like that. The men in black suits in the hallway stirred slightly. I stood up. "[angry] Stop it!" Both their gazes turned to me. Tatsuya looked at me. His eyes wavered slightly. Not his usual calm eyes. A face I'd never seen before. "[serious] If you won't choose me... that's fine" A moment of silence. "[serious] But I won't hand you over to him" His voice was low. Not possessiveness—something desperate mixed in. I was shaken. I'd never seen Tatsuya like this. But. Something deep in my chest responded. "[angry] That's exactly what I hate about you!" The words came out. I couldn't stop them. "[angry] My feelings are mine to decide. Not yours!" Tatsuya said nothing. He looked at me for a while. Like he was about to say something, then stopped. Then slowly, he turned toward the hallway and walked away. The men in black followed. Tatsuya's back disappeared around the corner. What remained in the classroom was me, Ryou, and frozen classmates. --- Ryou came over and sat down quietly beside me. "[gentle] You okay?" I didn't answer. I couldn't find an answer. Ryou's hand rested gently on top of mine. It was warm. A normal hand. A warmth that wasn't scary. I couldn't pull away. I knew this warmth was the normal touch I'd been looking for at first. That's why I couldn't pull away. But. Tatsuya's hazy smile kept flickering through my mind. His voice wouldn't fade. That voice that didn't doubt for a second: "You can't lose." That's when Ryou's phone lit up in his pocket. The screen turned face-up for just a moment. I caught the initials of the caller's icon in my vision. ——R. I couldn't read the full name. But for just that instant, Ryou's hand tightened slightly. He flipped the phone over immediately. He smiled like nothing happened. "[gentle] Let's talk more tomorrow. I won't leave you alone" That smile still looked natural and warm. So I couldn't confirm that something was wrong. --- After school. I was at Miharashi Hill. A small rise in the western part of Minase City, twenty minutes' walk from school. From the bench at the top, you could see the whole city. The sunset was painting the streets orange. The Asahi River reflected the light. Nobody was there. I sat on the bench and clasped my hands on my lap. Tatsuya's words, Ryou's warm hand—they were all tangled up in my head. Three days until the contest. No allies in class. Fighting with Tatsuya. I didn't even know if I should lean on Ryou's kindness. "[sad] ...What do I really want?" The words came out. Not to anyone. No answer came. I'd always moved with calculation, and now I understood nothing. I wanted a normal relationship. That was supposed to be all. But now... One tear fell on my knee. I didn't bother wiping it away. "Young lady, what's the matter?" I looked up. An old man with white hair was climbing up the slope. An old jacket, a walking stick. It was Yagi from Book Palace. The owner of the used bookstore Tatsuya goes to. In his seventies, always with sleepy eyes, but when he talks, he's surprisingly sharp. Yagi didn't seem surprised at my tear-stained face. He just stopped near the bench and said, almost to himself, looking out at the distance: "[gentle] I learned something when I was young. The things that really matter... you only understand them when you're about to lose them" I couldn't tell if those words were meant for me. Yagi walked slowly away. I couldn't immediately understand his words as meaning. But something deep in my chest stirred. About to lose them. Tatsuya's voice repeating. "You can't lose." And his back disappearing down the hallway. "I won't hand you over to him"—that desperate voice. (Maybe there's something that isn't calculation.) I couldn't put it into words. But somehow, I felt it. The sunset grew deeper. Lights began to come on across Minase City. I could see small lights on the upper floors of Tower Grants. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and looked up at the sky one more time. No answer yet. But something had changed a little.