After the Empty Box: Echoes of Maria and the Whereabouts of the Everyday - The Girl Who Calls Me "You"

The school during spring break was hushed, as if the usual clamor had been a lie. March thirtieth. A little past nine in the morning, Hoshino Kazuki sat in the library of Minase Prefectural High School, hunched over an open notebook. Spring break assignments—a classical literature reading worksheet and a designated range of the math problem collection. Both had to be submitted right at the start of the new term. The library occupied the first floor of the school building, next to the staff room. Its collection numbered about twenty thousand volumes—well-stocked for a rural public high school—and Kazuki didn't mind this quiet space. The spring sunlight slanting through the windows warmed the wood grain of the long tables. The air carried that smell unique to libraries, paper and dust mingled together. Kazuki scratched lightly at his short black hair and dropped his eyes to the classical literature worksheet. A bit of bedhead remained; he smoothed it down with his right hand a few times, but it sprang right back. The small old scar above his left eyebrow shifted faintly each time he furrowed his brow. (...Good thing I got this done during break after all.) Once the new term began, that noisy everyday would return. Classmates' voices, footsteps running down the halls, the shouts of club activities. All of it mixed together—that atmosphere. Kazuki loved it. An ordinary daily life with nothing special about it. That was, to him, more precious than anything. The smartphone in his pocket buzzed softly against the desk. He reached for it and looked at the screen. Nothing important. Just a notification. He was about to close it when his finger stopped. The contact list caught his eye. Usui Haruaki. Oomine Daiya. Kirino Kokone. And then, Otonashi Maria. (...Something's missing.) Again. The same unease he'd felt at school that day—March twenty-eighth. He traced the contact list from top to bottom. A-row, Ka-row, Sa-row, Ta-row, Na-row, Ha-row, Ma-row, Ya-row, Ra-row, Wa-row. Everyone seemed to be there. And yet, somewhere in the list, a single person's blank space gaped open. Kazuki furrowed his brow and laid the smartphone face-down on the desk. (I'm overthinking it.) He told himself so and returned his gaze to the worksheet. That was when it happened. The library door opened with a slow creak. He looked up. Standing there was Otonashi Maria. Her straight silver hair, reaching to her waist, caught the light from the window and glowed faintly. Her ice-pale blue eyes, as ever, revealed no emotion. A white blouse and a pale blue cardigan. In the spring sunlight, she looked terribly ephemeral. A small silver earring glinted on her left ear. She herself didn't remember what that earring meant, she'd said. Kazuki felt something small and painful tighten deep in his chest. When Maria noticed Kazuki's presence, she paused for just an instant. But she immediately looked away and walked silently between the bookshelves. Only her footsteps echoed in regular rhythm through the quiet library. Watching her back, Kazuki hesitated over whether to call out. Once, he would have spoken without hesitation. But the distance between him and Maria now was different from before. She called him "you" and spoke of nothing beyond what was necessary. Being kept at arm's length—he understood that all too painfully. Even so. "...What are you looking for?" He had spoken with a naturalness that surprised even himself. Maria stopped her hand mid-reach for a book and turned slowly. Those ice-like eyes fixed squarely on Kazuki. "None of your business." A flat, temperatureless voice. Kazuki let out a small breath. Just the reaction he'd expected. But backing off now felt somehow wrong. "I won't get in your way. I'm just doing my assignments too." Maria stared at him for a moment, then turned back to the shelves. Her slender fingers slid along the spines. The gesture was slow and careful, as if confirming something. A stretch of silence. Inside the library, only the sound of turning pages and the birdsong from outside drifted through. "...You." Unexpectedly, Maria spoke. Kazuki raised his head. Maria wasn't looking at him. Still facing the shelves, she continued over her shoulder. "I'm here to destroy you." The words rang cold through the library's stillness. Kazuki's breath stopped for an instant. (Again.) She repeats those words. Even now, having lost her memories, only those words spill from her lips. It was the declaration of war she had once hurled at Kazuki. The words that could be called the very origin of the girl named Otonashi Maria. But the her of now didn't understand what those words meant. Only her body remembered. Even with her memories gone, only those words, carved into the depths of her heart, remained like a pillar supporting her existence. Kazuki felt a tight, squeezing pain deep in his chest. (You don't have to keep saying that anymore.) He thought so. But he couldn't say it aloud. Even if he did, it wouldn't reach the Maria of now. She didn't understand what she was saying, or the weight of it. "...I know." Kazuki said quietly. Maria turned around. Her expression was, as always, blank. But deep in her eyes, for just an instant, something seemed to waver. "If you know, then fine." With that, she took a single book in hand. A hardcover with an old, worn binding. The title wasn't visible. Maria clutched it to her chest and walked toward the checkout counter. Kazuki watched her go. She exchanged a few words with the librarian at the counter. Then she opened the library door and left. The sound of the door closing seemed terribly loud. Kazuki exhaled deeply. (Why does she remember only those words?) The declaration of war that Maria, having lost her memories, still repeats. Was it something that defined her existence? Or merely the dregs of memory? Kazuki didn't know. Only one thing was certain. Every time he heard those words, his chest ached. And that pain was the kind that never faded with familiarity. Kazuki reached for the bag of Umaibo on the desk. He pulled one out and bit into the end. A light, crispy sound echoed through the quiet library. The sweet-salty corn potage flavor slowly dissolved on his tongue. (It's nothing special.) Whatever she said, he would simply live his everyday. Hating the special, loving the peaceful. That alone would never change, no matter what. Kazuki told himself so. ──. The next day, March thirty-first. Kazuki spent the morning at home. His parents both worked, and they'd left early again today. The house was quiet, only the ticking of the clock's second hand marking time in regular rhythm. Kazuki lay on his bed in his room, staring at the ceiling. His smartphone in hand. On the screen, Otonashi Maria's contact information. (What am I supposed to talk about, the day after yesterday?) He recalled the conversation in the library. Those cold eyes. Those words that pushed him away. And yet, in his chest, the desire to see her smoldered. (I'll pretend I have a reason and go.) He decided this a little past noon. Kazuki got up and changed clothes. A white shirt and a navy cardigan. His usual outfit. He pulled one Umaibo from the bag on his desk, stuck it in his mouth, and left the room. Maria's apartment was in a quiet residential neighborhood a little outside the center of Minase City. About twenty minutes by bicycle from school. Kazuki pedaled through the spring wind. He rode along the embankment of the Minase River, passing beneath the rows of cherry trees. A single petal danced on the wind and landed on his shoulder. He reached the apartment a little after two in the afternoon. An old two-story building. He climbed the exterior stairs and stood before Maria's door. The nameplate read "Otonashi." Kazuki reached for the intercom. Ding-dong, a light chime sounded. After a moment, the door opened. Maria, upon seeing Kazuki's face, furrowed her brow just slightly. "...What do you want?" The same temperatureless voice as ever. "Ah... I was just wondering if the book you borrowed at the library yesterday was the right one. Figured I should check in case it was wrong." It was a desperate excuse. But he couldn't think of any other reason. Maria stared at him for a moment. Then she slowly opened the door wider. "...Come in." A short invitation. Surprised, Kazuki removed his shoes and stepped inside. Maria's room was astonishingly orderly. One could say there was nothing unnecessary in it at all. A bed, a desk, a bookshelf. Just that—a sparse room. Yet it felt somehow lacking in signs of life, giving the impression that she hadn't lived here long. "Sit there." Leaving Kazuki standing in the center of the room, Maria went to the small kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and took something out. Barley tea poured into a glass was set on the desk. "...Thanks." Kazuki said, and sat before the desk. Maria didn't sit across from him but perched on the edge of the bed, a little distance away. That physical distance seemed to mirror the distance in her heart. Silence filled the room. The ticking of the clock's second hand. Children's voices from outside. The sound of a car passing in the distance. All of it mingled, making the quiet stand out. Kazuki didn't know what to talk about. Yesterday's words in the library still caught in his chest. I'm here to destroy you. She didn't know what those words meant. (That's why she can say them so easily.) The thought left him feeling helpless. Suddenly, his gaze was drawn to the bookshelf. Among the textbooks and reference books, a single conspicuously old notebook was wedged in. No spine, just a faded cover barely visible. Kazuki found himself standing before he realized it. "...What are you doing?" Maria's voice flew at him, sharp. But Kazuki's hand didn't stop. He approached the shelf and pulled out the notebook. The moment he took it in hand, the smell of old paper hit his nose. "Don't go rummaging through my things." Maria stood and tried to snatch the notebook from his hand. But Kazuki had already opened it. In it, in the handwriting of Maria before her memory loss, was written: I didn't want to destroy you. I was just afraid of being destroyed. Kazuki's fingers stopped. His heart pounded with an unpleasant rhythm. (This is—) Her true feelings, hidden behind the declaration of war. She who had appeared before Kazuki saying she would destroy him had, in truth, not wanted to destroy—she had been afraid of being destroyed. That confession was recorded in the old notebook, quietly, but certainly. Kazuki read the line over and over. Afraid of being destroyed. What had she feared would destroy her? The box? Herself? Or her relationship with Kazuki? He didn't know. But this line was undoubtedly the genuine feeling of Maria before she lost her memories. "Give it back." Maria's hand tore the notebook from his grasp. Her expression was more rigid than he had ever seen it. The mask of blankness warped, as if about to peel away. "...You saw it." Her voice was trembling. "Yeah, I saw it." Kazuki looked straight at Maria. "I told you not to rummage through my things." "...Sorry. But I'm glad I saw it." At his words, Maria's eyes wavered. "You were scared too, weren't you." The instant she heard those words, Maria's expression twisted visibly. It was as if he could hear something creaking inside her. Something sunk at the bottom of her memory slowly rising to the surface. Emotions she herself couldn't understand swirled deep in those ice-like eyes. "...Don't talk like you understand anything." Her voice was shaking. She was trying to suppress her emotions, and they were spilling out. That kind of voice. "What do you know about me? About me, who doesn't even have memories?" Kazuki couldn't say anything. She was right. Kazuki didn't know the contents of the memories she had lost. What she had felt, what she ha

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Episode 2

Name: After the Empty Box: Echoes of Maria and the Whereabouts of the Everyday
Author: Novelia

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