Italy wakes up one morning to a scream—he's turned into a cute girl! Rushing to Germany's house in a panic, he finds Germany has become a muscle-bound warrior woman, barely contained in a ripped dress.
But it's not just them. Japan has become a quiet Yamato Nadeshiko beauty, America is a high-energy blonde bombshell, France becomes a handsome young man shocked by his new deep voice, and Russia is a giant, smiling woman. England, responsible for the cursed book that caused all this, is now a ti
Hetalia: World☆Upside-Down Chaos!? Everyone's Swapped! - The flirty guy was repelled by Germany! The leaning incident on the ferry, and a twinge in Japan's heart.
Germany's car raced down the midnight autobahn.
The headlights sliced through the darkness, and the engine's hum was the only sound inside the vehicle.
[sad] "I'm so bored~. Hey, are we there yet?"
A soft, drowsy voice drifted up from the back seat. Italy fidgeted with the hem of their indigo dress, their large amber eyes looking heavy and unfocused. Even the ahoge on the left side of their head seemed to droop.
[serious] "Two more hours. I told you that just a moment ago."
Germany, gripping the steering wheel, had a deep frown etched between their brows. Their blond hair was slicked back, and their sharp blue eyes glared into the darkness ahead. The shoulders of their dress, which had long since passed the point of discomfort and seemed ready to scream in protest, were stretched taut, visibly straining even in the dark of night.
[sad] "Two whole hours... I'm so sleepy I feel like I'm gonna die..."
[serious] "Then sleep. I'll wake you when we arrive."
[whispers] "But if I sleep, you and Japan will be alone together and that's not fair."
[angry] "What do you mean, 'not fair'?! What's not fair about it!"
Japan, in the passenger seat, let out a small laugh.
Their glossy black braid swayed gently.
[gentle] "Hehe. Italy-san, you're so honest. Are you feeling lonely?"
"Ehehe. 'Cause I wanna talk with everyone."
Those innocent words eased the tension in the car, just a little.
The strained atmosphere softened, ever so slightly.
*(This person is truly like the sun.)*
Japan let their gaze drift out the window into the darkness, murmuring the thought deep in their chest. Italy had a way of dismantling the walls between people with astonishing naturalness.
[serious] "I don't mind you talking, but don't get carried away. We'll take a break soon. The fuel is getting low."
[excited] "Yay! Then let's buy something at the convenience store. I'm getting hungry."
"Forget about the pasta."
Before long, the orange lights of the expressway revealed a small service area up ahead.
The late-night parking lot was deserted.
When Germany killed the engine, the sudden silence was deafening. Not even the sound of insects could be heard.
The three of them stepped out of the car.
The air was chilly and cold, unbelievably so for a summer night.
[gentle] "Well then, shall we go?"
Japan lifted the hem of their kimono slightly and walked forward with their back perfectly straight.
Italy overtook Japan, trotting towards the bright lights of the convenience store.
[serious] "Don't run, Italy. You'll fall."
[excited] "Germany worries too much~"
Italy turned around and stuck out their tongue.
Their curly brown hair danced softly in the night breeze.
That was when it happened.
"Hey there, little lady. You alone?"
Two young men emerged from the shadows of the convenience store. One was tall, the other stocky. Both reeked of cheap alcohol.
[surprised] "Huh? Little lady? You mean me?"
Italy tilted their head. They couldn't quite grasp the situation. There wasn't a shred of caution in them. The men's eyes turned lecherous at that defenseless smile.
"Yeah, you. You're cute. Wanna come play with us?"
"The coffee here sucks. We've got some good booze, though."
One of the men reached out to grab Italy's wrist. In that instant—
*THUD.*
A heavy footstep, like a tank suddenly lurching forward, shook the ground.
[cold] "Don't touch them."
In the next moment, Germany was standing in front of Italy. A towering figure of 178 centimeters. Muscles stretched taut. Blue eyes pierced the men with a sub-zero glare.
The shoulders of the dress bulged, looking as if they might tear apart at any second.
"Wh-what the hell are you...?"
"What a huge woman..."
The men took a step back.
Germany slowly folded their arms.
[cold] "I'll say it one more time. Don't touch my companion. You might not walk away with all your bones intact."
A warrior woman—no, the wrath of a goddess.
Their voice was low, terrifyingly calm. That stillness was more intimidating than any shout.
"D-dammit..."
"Let's get out of here, this one's bad news..."
Unable to even spit out a parting threat, the men fled into the darkness.
Silence returned.
[excited] "Germany, you're amazing! Thank you! You really are my hero!"
Italy's face lit up, and they tried to throw themselves at Germany. Like a puppy who had found its owner, they expressed their joy with their whole body.
[angry] "You idiot! Why were you about to just go along with them?! Don't you understand how dangerous that was?!"
A shout.
But their face was bright red. Even in the darkness, it was clear that the tips of their ears, peeking out from their slicked-back blond hair, were burning crimson.
Was it red from anger, or embarrassment?
"'Cause I thought Germany would protect me..."
[angry] "That's not the point! Have more awareness of danger!"
A little behind the two of them, Japan watched the exchange.
They gently wrapped both hands around a can of coffee.
*(Germany-san, you really do... for Italy-san...)*
A warmth spread deep in their chest.
No.
This wasn't warmth.
It was something colder, a sharp pain. As if a tiny shard of glass had fallen into their heart.
*(What is this feeling?)*
Japan quietly lowered their narrow, dark eyes.
---
The bright food court of the service area.
The three of them sat around curry and coffee.
[excited] "The curry's good, but I still miss pasta. Can I make some at your place next time, Germany?"
[serious] "Wait until the curse is broken."
[gentle] "Hehe, Japan's curry is also quite good. Shall I teach you how to make it sometime?"
[excited] "Eh, really? Yay!"
A brief moment of peace.
What shattered the atmosphere was the ring of a cell phone.
A quaint, old-fashioned *pirorirorin*. Italy's smartphone vibrated.
"Ah, it's France."
Tapping the screen revealed a beautiful young man.
His long blond hair was tied back elegantly, and the chest of his white shirt was open wide.
*'Bonjour, everyone. What do you think of my new style?'*
On the video call, France spun around once.
The background looked like his home. Stylish furnishings were visible.
[surprised] "Whoa, France turned into a guy too! But you're annoyingly cool!"
*'But of course. Beauty has nothing to do with gender. If anything, it's fun discovering a new side of myself. How about you all? Germany looks like a gorilla, as usual.'*
[angry] "Shut up! You go and head to England's place right now! He's the cause of this curse!"
*'I intend to, of course. But look at me. Every time I look in the mirror, I get lost in my own beauty. My departure has been delayed.'*
France theatrically pulled out a hand mirror and gazed at his own face with rapture.
[laughing] "Ahaha! That's so like you, France!"
Japan, too, smiled softly.
In difficult times, his lightness was a comfort.
*'Even so—'*
France's eyes glinted through the screen.
*'Germany and Italy seem to be getting along quite well already. It's as if it's always been that way, isn't it? Watching you two, I can't help but think that love magic truly exists.'*
[angry] "Wh-what are you talking about?!"
Germany stood up with a clatter. The coffee cup wobbled, nearly spilling its contents.
[surprised] "Huh? Love magic?"
Italy tilted their head. It was a face that only half-understood.
*'Well then, you two. Do your best.'*
*Click.*
The call ended.
Silence fell.
Awkward.
Germany, face bright red, downed their coffee in one gulp.
Japan simply, quietly, faced the pain in their own chest.
*(Love magic, is it...)*
Their narrow eyes slowly caught Germany's profile.
His gaze was fixed on Italy now.
*(So that's how it is.)*
Something clicked into place inside them.
At the same time, a loneliness, as if they had been pushed away, spread through the bottom of their heart.
---
The low engine hum of the ferry mixed with the sound of the waves.
A late-night ship crossing the Strait of Dover.
The passenger cabin lights were dimmed, the surroundings shrouded in shadow.
The three of them huddled together in the empty seats at the very back. Outside the window, a pitch-black sea stretched on forever.
[sad] "Uu, I'm so sleepy..."
Italy's voice was near its limit. The backlash from their excitement in the car had brought on an unrelenting wave of drowsiness.
*Sway.*
Every time the ship rocked, Italy's head bobbed, nodding off.
[serious] "That's why I told you to sleep. There's still time before we reach England."
Italy heard Germany say this from beside them, half in a dream.
"Fwai..."
It wasn't really a reply.
And then, the next moment.
*Thump.*
Italy's head leaned against Germany's shoulder.
*Soft.*
The scent of pasta and something faintly sweet.
"—Gh, hey, Italy."
Germany's body turned to stone.
Should they wake them?
No, waking someone who's sleeping would be cruel.
But this was far, far too close.
Italy's soft brown hair touched Germany's arm.
A quiet, sleeping breath.
Germany forgot to breathe, staring straight ahead.
They could feel their own face turning as red as a boiled octopus.
*(Wh-what am I supposed to do at a time like this?)*
Neither the rulebook nor the manual had anything written about this.
---
Japan, from a seat diagonally in front, saw everything.
*(Ah...)*
There were no more excuses.
The pain in their chest was already unbearable.
France's words echoed in their head, over and over.
*(It's love, isn't it.)*
They held special feelings for Germany.
It wasn't the familiarity of a comrade, or the trust of a friend.
It was a more selfish, a narrower emotion.
*(It's jealousy.)*
Japan quietly turned their eyes to the window.
The pitch-black sea swayed silently.
*(Back then, when you protected me, it was a kindness typical of you, Germany-san. But... the one you're always looking at is Italy-san, isn't it.)*
It was something they should have known.
But seeing it displayed right in front of them like this, it felt like the depths of their heart were being squeezed tight.
*(Could this be my first love? What an unrequited love it is.)*
They closed their eyes quietly.
Their long eyelashes trembled just a little.
---
How much time had passed?
The ship sounded its horn, arriving at the English port.
[gentle] "Italy-san, we've arrived."
"Nn-ah...? Is it morning already?"
Italy was still half-asleep.
They lifted their head from Germany's shoulder and stretched with a soft, drowsy sound.
[serious] "Come on, let's get back to the car. We don't have time."
Germany stood up as if nothing had happened.
But the tips of their ears were still just slightly flushed.
As the three of them returned to the car, something slapped against the windshield with a flutter.
"What's this, a bird?"
[serious] "No, it's a magical memo. From Switzerland, I'd guess."
Germany opened the window and took the letter.
The moment they broke the seal, Switzerland's monotone voice echoed out.
*'Final notice. The world conference convenes today at noon. Based on Article 14 of the Concordia Treaty, unexcused absence is not permitted. Current time: four hours remaining until the conference.'*
[scared] "Four hours?! How much longer to England's house?!"
[serious] "It's a two-hour drive from here to the Cotswolds. Considering the time needed to break the curse, we won't make it to the conference in time."
Germany gripped the steering wheel tightly.
[gentle] "Meeting with England-san is our first priority. I will contact Switzerland-san about our absence."
[scared] "B-but a joint censure is that thing where everyone gets super mad at you, right... I don't wanna get yelled at..."
[serious] "If we attend the conference looking like this, we'll become the laughingstock of the world. The best course of action is to break the curse and then explain the situation. Let's go."
---
Germany's car sped down the early morning English roads.
A misty rural landscape.
Just a little further to England's magic workshop.
What kind of face would the source of the curse