God's Blessing on This Wonderful World! -The If Where Aqua Gets Dissected- - The Vanished Goddess and the Bloody Wine Bottle

Snow was falling. Winter had come to Axel. White flakes fell onto the cobblestones, vanishing, then beginning to pile up. The evening sky was a murky gray, and everyone walking the streets hunched their shoulders against the cold. This free city, flourishing along the Verdian River, had a population of roughly a hundred thousand. It was a key trading hub in the center of the continent, and also a town where adventurers gathered. Come spring, holy water would be scattered during the Aqua Festival, and cargo ships would come and go on the river. But now, even that vitality was sinking beneath the snow. Steam clung to the windows of the tavern "Umai Mon." Warm light spilled from inside, and the faint sound of drunken laughter reached the street. Kazuma was lounging in a corner table of the tavern, slumped lazily against the backrest. Messy black hair, a little on the long side. Sleepy brown eyes. A small tear mole beneath his left eye. A slim twenty-year-old man, hardly what you'd call muscular. His green cloak hung on the back of his chair, and the collar of his white shirt was sloppily loosened. "Ahh... so damn lazy." Tilting the mug of ale in his hand, Kazuma looked up at the ceiling. The lamp hanging from the wooden beam swayed gently. Its light illuminated the skewers of grilled bird lined up on the table. Axel's specialty grilled bird was fifty gold per skewer. The smell of charred sauce mixed with the scent of alcohol, tickling his nose. "Hey Kazuma, are you even listening?" An annoyed voice came from the seat across from him. Kazuma lazily turned his gaze back. Sitting there was a girl with long blue hair that reached her waist. Her cobalt-blue eyes sparkled, reflecting the lamplight. She looked like she was in her mid-teens. But her true identity was Aqua, the Goddess of Water. Self-proclaimed High Priestess of the Axel Church. She stood about five foot four. She wore a flouncy, priestess-style outfit in white and blue, but the chest area was stained with alcohol. "You're not listening. Honestly, don't you think it's rude to this goddess to ignore what she's saying?" Aqua puffed out her cheeks and tried to snatch Kazuma's mug. Kazuma dodged it easily. "Shut up. Everything you talk about is pointless anyway." "How cruel! All I did was report that my holy water sold for two thousand gold at the guild today!" "I already heard that. Three times now." "But I'm happy! My holy water selling for so much means the people of Axel are finally realizing how great this goddess is!" Aqua puffed out her chest. As she did, the small bottle in her hand tilted. Inside was a transparent liquid. What Aqua called "holy water" — a mysterious water she produced herself. "So anyway, Kazuma. I just had an idea!" "Don't. It's never anything good." "I haven't even said anything yet! Don't you think my holy water mixed with alcohol would taste even better?" Aqua's eyes sparkled as she started to open the bottle's lid. Kazuma immediately grabbed her wrist. "Did you forget you did that before and threw up? Mixing holy water with alcohol makes it taste weird. And seriously, learn already that your holy water isn't meant to be mixed into drinks." "Muu..." Aqua pouted but reluctantly placed the bottle on the table. Kazuma let out a deep sigh. (Why am I drinking with these people every single day?) He thought that. But, well, it wasn't like he disliked it. Kazuma's gaze shifted to the seat beside him. Sitting there was a girl with vivid crimson hair tied in twin tails. Burning red eyes. She was small — barely four foot ten — and wore a black robe with a red scarf, clutching a staff topped with a red gemstone. She was fourteen years old. Megumin, the Explosion Mage. Megumin was staring intently at a skewer of grilled bird, like a cat eyeing its prey. "...This char. This fragrant aroma. Mm, today's grilled bird rivals anything seared with the secret arts of my Crimson Demon clan." "It's just grilled bird. Has nothing to do with secret arts." "Kazuma, you understand nothing. Grilled bird is the art of flame. In the degree to which its surface is charred lives the soul of the chef. As an Explosion Mage, I shall pay my respects to that soul before partaking." "Yeah, yeah. Just eat it already. It'll get cold." Megumin lifted the skewer with a solemn expression and took a bite. In that instant, her red eyes flew wide open. "...Delicious. Truly delicious. Kazuma, you may consider it the pride of your life that you introduced me to this grilled bird." "You're so dramatic." Kazuma smiled wryly and took another sip of ale. And then, the last one. He shifted his gaze to the female knight sitting on the opposite side from him. A woman with blonde hair pulled back in a single tail and clear blue eyes. She stood about five foot six. She wore silver-white armor, and beneath the table, her long legs were crossed. Darkness, the Holy Knight. Her real name was Darkness. She carried the pride of a Crusader and was normally dignified... or at least, she was supposed to be. "Hah... hah..." Darkness was flushed in the cheeks, breathing heavily. In her hand — she seemed to be recalling the moment Kazuma had yelled "shut up" at her earlier. No, that wasn't it. She was simply a lightweight when it came to alcohol. "What's wrong, Darkness? Your face is red." "N-nothing. I'm just... a little warm, that's all." Darkness hurriedly straightened her collar. Even through the armor, it was obvious her chest was rising and falling violently. Kazuma instinctively looked away. (This one's having weird fantasies again...) Darkness had a certain... peculiar taste. She had the troublesome constitution of deriving pleasure from pain and humiliation. Normally she was serious and strongly justice-minded, but this trait ruined that more often than not. "So, Kazuma. What have you been thinking about all this time?" Darkness asked, still blushing. Kazuma shrugged. "Nothing. Just that we haven't gotten any decent requests lately." "Ah, that's true. These past few days it's been nothing but goblin extermination." "Right. A thousand gold per person for goblin extermination is way too cheap. We're risking our lives out there." "But Kazuma, goblins move in packs. Let your guard down and it's dangerous. I became your shield and protected you, didn't I?" "You looked pretty happy at the time. Surrounded by goblins, grinning ear to ear." "Th-that's...! N-no! I was simply feeling joy at protecting my comrades...!" Darkness turned bright red and denied it. Kazuma grinned. "Oh? Joy at protecting your comrades, huh. Then why were you breathing so hard?" "Ugh... that's, well..." Darkness hung her head, fidgeting and twining her fingers. Watching her, Kazuma held back his laughter. (This one's so easy to read.) Kazuma was in a party with these three. A Water Goddess (self-proclaimed), an Explosion Mage (who could only cast once a day), and a Holy Knight (with a masochism fetish). Every last one of them was a handful. But, well, it wasn't bad. That's what Kazuma thought. "By the way, Kazuma. You picked something up in a dungeon recently, didn't you?" Darkness said, as if just remembering. Kazuma nodded. "Yeah." "Right, this." Kazuma pulled an old stone tablet from his pocket. A thin slab, palm-sized. Its surface was densely carved with ancient script. "Found it in the eastern dungeon last week. It was lying behind a treasure chest." "Ho. How intriguing. An ancient relic?" Darkness leaned forward. Kazuma placed the tablet on the table. "But I can't read what it says. I don't know ancient script." "I'll read it for you!" Aqua raised her hand. Kazuma looked at her with skeptical eyes. "You can read ancient script?" "Of course! Who do you think I am? I'm Aqua, the Goddess of Water! I can read every language in this world, obviously!" Aqua puffed out her chest and snatched up the tablet. Then, narrowing her eyes, she began tracing the characters. "Let's see... 'The tears of the Water Goddess heal a thousand ailments and shatter ten thousand curses. Yet her heart holds the power to revive even the dead'... it says." The moment Aqua read it aloud, the air at the table shifted slightly. Kazuma stopped his hand mid-way to his mouth with the mug. "...Huh? What the hell is that?" "I said, it says the Water Goddess's tears heal a thousand ailments and her heart revives the dead. Hey, this is about me, isn't it?" Aqua's eyes sparkled as she hugged the tablet to her chest with both hands. "I mean, when you say Water Goddess, that's me! My tears healing a thousand ailments — what a legend befitting this goddess! And reviving the dead with my heart — I'm just too overpowered!" "You hear that your heart can revive the dead and your first reaction is to be happy? Normally you'd be a little scared." "But it's an amazing power! My heart being that valuable just gives me more confidence!" Aqua gazed at the tablet dreamily, stroking it. Kazuma gave up — there was no point saying anything to this one. "It's just the useless goddess's delusions again. The only ones in this town who treat Aqua like a real goddess are the church people anyway." "How cruel! You know better than anyone that I'm a real goddess, Kazuma!" Aqua got angry and started pounding her fists on Kazuma's arm. Kazuma brushed her off casually and took the tablet back from her hands. (A heart that revives the dead...? Could it actually be a real goddess's heart?) Something nagged at the back of his mind. But he was drunk. Three mugs of ale in, and his head was fuzzy. (Well, it's probably nothing serious anyway.) Kazuma slipped the tablet back into his pocket. "Anyway, Kazuma. What are we doing for our next request? Goblin extermination again?" "I don't want to. I'm sick of goblins. Isn't there something that pays better?" "Speaking of good-paying requests, there's one posted for investigating the Nox Ruins. Though it's high difficulty, meant for advanced adventurers." "The Nox Ruins — that's eighty kilometers northeast of Axel, right? Liches show up there. I'll pass." "Figured. It's still too soon for our party." "Darkness, don't you actually want to go? A dangerous place, surrounded by enemies, getting beaten up — isn't that what you're into?" "Wha...! Th-that's not it! I was simply making a calm assessment of our party's capabilities...!" Darkness turned bright red again. Seeing her reaction, Kazuma smiled in satisfaction. "Sure, sure. Let's go with that." "Grrr..." Darkness hung her head in frustration. But the corners of her mouth were just slightly relaxed. (This one's angry but happy.) Kazuma saw Darkness like that and laughed again. "By the way, Kazuma. Listen to me talk about my Explosion Magic." Megumin suddenly pressed close to Kazuma with a serious face. "What, all of a sudden?" "For our next request, I want you to pick something where I can use my Explosion Magic. A goblin pack is fine. An orc settlement is fine. Just take me somewhere my Explosion Magic can detonate." "You can't move after you cast Explosion Magic. Every time, I end up having to carry you home on my back." "That too is the fate of an Explosion Mage. I stake everything on that single blast. Kazuma, aren't you also one of those captivated by my Explosion Magic?" Megumin's red eyes blazed. Kazuma flinched at her intensity. "W-well, the power is definitely impressive. But think about when you use it. Don't fire it in the middle of town. We got complaints last time about an empty lot being turned into a flat wasteland." "Fufu. Before my Explosion Magic, an empty lot and a wasteland are one and the same. All becomes dust." "That's exactly what's wrong." Kazuma lightly tapped Megumin on the head. Megumin puffed up with a "hmph." "Kazuma, hitting a girl on the head is not admirable. I am an Explosion Mage and should be treated with respect." "Yeah, yeah, amazing, amazing." Kazuma brushed it off. Megumin looked like she wanted to say

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Name: God's Blessing on This Wonderful World! -The If Where Aqua Gets Dissected-
Author: Novelia

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