At Totsuki Culinary Academy, the famous Polar Star Dorm is home to genius and eccentric chefs as always. One day, Soma Yukihira is given a shock by the dorm matron, Fumio Daimido. A master of tea ceremony with a terrifying temper when angered, she declares, 'Room inspections in one week! If your room is dirty, a ten-book report without question!' Soma thinks he's safe, until Satoshi Isshiki peeks into his room and says, 'I can't see your floor.' Panicking, Soma tries to clean up but discovers a
Polar Star Dorm: Today is Peaceful… Right?! - The Culprit Exposed! Alice Laughs from the Depths of Hell
The envelope trembled faintly in Isshiki's hands.
The Council of Ten's coup d'état plan. Why was that top-secret document in Souma's room?
No one spoke. The air in the room was stretched so taut it felt like a single pinprick would shatter it.
——*Clatter!*
" I'm here to check on my experiment results~!"
The door flew open with force.
Platinum blonde curls bouncing all the way down to her waist, large violet-blue eyes sparkling, Alice Nakiri burst into the room. In her hands, a small video camera. Its lens captured each of their faces in turn.
" Alice...!"
Erina's voice trembled.
Alice bounced her way to the center of the room. She stepped lightly over the cardboard boxes and broken frying pans littering the floor. The filthy room didn't bother her in the slightest.
" Everyone's faces are so interesting! Erina-onee-sama, you look like you've just seen a ghost!"
" ...Alice-san. Was this document your doing?"
Isshiki held up the envelope. His usual fundoshi-man grin had vanished from his face.
Alice tilted her head.
" Which document? Oh, that one. I put that in there too. At the very bottom of the cardboard box, along with Isshiki-senpai's unused fundoshi."
Silence.
" ...Don't screw with me."
Souma's voice was low, edged with menace. Not a trace of his usual bottomless cheer remained.
" I'm not screwing with you! It was all a proper experiment!"
Alice puffed out her chest. Not a shred of guilt.
" An experiment... you say?"
Erina's crimson-purple eyes narrowed with fury. The Nakiri family ring gleaming on her left ring finger bit into her tightly clenched fist.
" You're going to explain yourself, Alice. From the very beginning. Everything."
Isshiki spoke quietly.
" Well, first, a week ago. I secretly took the fermented herring can from Erina-onee-sama's lab. Then I came here and hid it in Souma-kun's mountain of cardboard boxes!"
Souma's fist trembled.
" Next, the second night of cleaning. I discovered that Tadokoro-san had secretly come to help clean and dropped her hairpin! I very kindly moved it to a spot where it would be easier to find the next day. Thoughtful, right?"
" ...Ah."
Megumi pressed both hands over her mouth. Tears spilled from her dark eyes.
Alice glanced at Megumi, then smiled again.
" Finally, the Council of Ten documents. I secretly copied those a week ago, put them in an envelope with Isshiki-senpai's fundoshi, and planted them at the bottom of the deepest box in this room. I calculated it so they'd be the very last thing to come out!"
" Where did you get those documents?"
" Trade secret~♪"
Isshiki fell silent.
Erina stepped forward.
" What for... what did you do all this for?!"
Alice beamed. It was an innocent and cruel smile, like a child handing a present to someone they adored.
" Isn't it obvious? Because I love Erina-onee-sama more than anything."
"...Huh?"
" I wanted to see my beloved Erina-onee-sama get genuinely furious! I wanted to observe you paying attention to me, thinking about me, letting your emotions get all tangled up because of me!"
Alice's voice was rapturous.
" Just imagining Erina-onee-sama storming in here after that can was opened was so incredibly entertaining!"
" Tadokoro-san panicking when her secret got exposed was also exactly according to calculation! And the moment everyone froze when they found the Council of Ten documents—that was the best data of all!"
" It was all my experiment! The most wonderfully entertaining experiment to observe Erina-onee-sama's reactions!"
——*Snap.*
Something inside Erina broke.
" Don't you DARE screw with meeeeeeee!!"
Erina lunged at Alice, grabbing her. Her golden hair disheveled, her usual elegance blown away.
" My research! Megumi's feelings! The Council of Ten's secrets! All of it was just... just for your amusement?!"
" Yes."
Alice answered calmly. She didn't even seem to mind being grabbed by the shoulders.
" But, Erina-onee-sama. In the end, it turned out to be pretty interesting, didn't it?"
" What do you...!"
" I mean, while you were helping Souma-kun clean, you actually started having fun, right? Thanks to my experiment, you even made new friends. And as a research subject for the God Tongue, you got to collect data on foul odors."
The strength drained from Erina's hands.
She'd hit the mark.
The camera lens captured Erina's pale face.
" ...What about Megumi's hairpin? You said you made it easier for me to find..."
Megumi asked through her tears.
" Of course, that was deliberate. If it had stayed on the floor, it might have been sucked up by the vacuum cleaner without anyone noticing. So I positioned it to be discovered at the perfect moment, ensuring Souma-kun and Megumi-san's relationship would be exposed."
" As a result, Isshiki-senpai and Erina-onee-sama arrived right on cue, and it was spectacularly revealed to everyone! Data-wise, I'd give it a ninety-five! Not a hundred, because Megumi-san started crying."
" Data... My feelings were just... experimental material...?"
Megumi's voice was so faint it nearly vanished.
" Yes. Souma-kun, Megumi-san, everyone—you were all necessary samples for my experiment."
Alice declared it without a hint of remorse.
Megumi collapsed to the floor, unable to make a sound.
Erina bit her lip. Isshiki remained silent.
——*Thud.*
Clutching his head, Souma Yukihira sank to the floor.
" ...I mean, I was just..."
Everyone's eyes gathered on Souma.
" I was just making my room messy. I was just trying to clean up so I wouldn't fail the inspection. So why... why has my room turned into a damn warzone?"
His usual catchphrase—*now this is getting interesting*—didn't come.
" A can explodes, Erina screams at me, Megumi's secret gets out, and then a Council of Ten coup plan surfaces... All of it. Every single thing. Happening in my room."
Souma raised his head.
His amber eyes were clouded with confusion and exhaustion—an expression he'd never shown before.
" All I wanted to do was clean. So why am I the one getting screwed over the most? This is insane... completely insane."
" Maybe I can't do this anymore. This is way beyond cleaning..."
Souma's words fell into the quiet room.
No one could say anything.
——*Click.*
Alice's video camera kept recording Souma's despairing face.
" I've obtained some excellent expression data."
Before anyone could shout at her, Isshiki moved.
" We need to clean, Souma-kun."
Isshiki tucked the envelope into the waist cord of his fundoshi and silently picked up a broken frying pan.
" ...Isshiki-senpai."
" I'll hold onto the committee documents. But before that, we need to tidy up this room. Fumio-san is coming for the inspection tomorrow morning."
Isshiki's voice held none of its usual playful tone. He was simply stating facts, flatly.
" Or are you giving up?"
Souma looked up.
...Give up.
The moment he heard those words, something surged up from the pit of his stomach.
" ...Like hell I'm giving up."
Souma stood. His legs were shaking. Even so, he stood.
" It's my room. I'll clean it. I don't care who planted what."
" Oh, in that case, shall I help?"
Alice raised her hand cheerfully.
" You are the one person I will absolutely never forgive!"
Erina shouted.
" But this whole uproar is the result of my experiment, so I have to take responsibility and observe it to the end. Besides, I'll show you what a molecular gastronomist can really do!"
" ...Alice. With that so-called scientific mindset of yours, are you telling me you can fix broken cooking equipment?"
Souma glared at her.
" Of course! If I flash-freeze metal with liquid nitrogen, the distortions might correct themselves, and I can use chemical reactions to remove rust. Who do you think I am? I'm Alice Nakiri, you know?"
" ...I don't trust you."
Megumi stepped back. Her dark eyes, still wet with tears, rejected Alice.
" You don't have to trust me. You just have to use my abilities. To finish cleaning."
Alice lowered her camera for a moment and smiled brightly.
" Because right now, there are less than twenty-four hours until the deadline. And if you lose me as a resource, there's absolutely no way you'll finish cleaning this room. Souma-kun, everyone—you know that, don't you?"
She'd hit the mark.
No one could argue.
" ...Erina."
Souma looked at Erina's trembling shoulders.
" You've got things you want to say to her, right? Let it all out."
Erina bit her lip and stepped forward.
" ...Alice."
" Yes, Erina-onee-sama?"
" I, at this very moment, despise you from the bottom of my heart!!"
Erina's voice echoed through the room. Alice's hair swayed slightly from the force of it.
" Your twisted affection, your mindset that turns everything into a test subject, your innocence that tramples all over people's hearts—I hate all of it!!"
" Yes, I know."
" But! Even so!!"
Erina clenched her fists. Tears overflowed from her large crimson-purple eyes.
" Without you, we can't finish cleaning this room. So take my anger and turn it into energy! Use that damnable science of yours and clean up this hell!! Right now!!"
Silence.
Then, Alice—clapped. Lightly, politely.
" Amazing, that's amazing! Erina-onee-sama, you've become able to make the decision to use someone you hate all on your own! That's incredible growth!"
" Don't mock me!!"
" I'm not mocking you. This is also proper observational data."
Alice placed her camera on the table and rolled up her sleeves.
" Well then, I'll show you what a molecular gastronomist can really do! In twenty-four hours, I'll make this room clean on a molecular level!"
" ...I thought fighting you in a shokugeki would be more than enough."
Souma muttered.
" Shokugeki? Oh, a cooking battle! Of course, I want to do that someday too! But for now, cleaning this room comes first!"
Alice put her hands on her hips and surveyed Souma's room.
The floor was buried in broken cooking equipment, the walls stained with canned herring juice. The window was still wide open, the night wind blowing in.
The clock's hands were about to point to midnight.
" ...Megumi. What about you?"
Souma turned around.
Megumi was still sitting on the floor, trembling. But her dark eyes, though wet with tears, looked straight at Souma.
" ...I'm still... scared of Alice-san. I can't forgive her."
" But if you're going to fight, Souma-kun... I'll help too. Let's definitely finish cleaning."
Megumi stood up. In her hand, the floral hairpin she'd been clutching gleamed.
" ...Good, everyone. Looks like the cleaning squad is all here."
Still in his fundoshi, Isshiki smiled as he always did.
" However, don't forget. This room still holds a secret that could shake the Council of Ten."
He tapped the envelope at his waist pointedly.
Tension shot through everyone's faces again.
" Once the cleaning is done, you will tell us all about that."
" Of course."
" Oh, let me get data on that conversation too!"
" You shut up for a bit!!"
Souma's retort exploded, and everyone burst out laughing despite themselves.
The laughter loosened the strained atmosphere, just a little.
But—not a single millimeter of cleaning had been done.
The betrayer had become an ally, the mystery of the documents had deepened, and the scars of the foul stench still soaked into the floor.
And the clock's hands continued to tick mercilessly onward.
Twenty-four hours until the cleaning inspection.
Souma Yukihira's most unreasonable, most chaotic night of his life was now beginning its transformation into a true hell.
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