Farewell to This Wonderful World: Loss and Rebirth in Axel - Fragment of the Soul, the Girl with Crimson Eyes

The signs of autumn were quietly creeping into the town of Axel. The air in the mornings and evenings had begun to feel cold against the skin, and dry fallen leaves soundlessly drifted down onto the cobblestones of Silver Coin Street. The vegetables lined up in the market were beginning to shift from the lush summer varieties to root vegetables and mushrooms. The breath of the townspeople faintly clouded white in the morning light. Kazuma pushed open the heavy wooden door of the adventurer's guild, "Proof of the Silver Wing," with his back and stepped outside. The clamor from inside the building receded with each step he took. The voices of adventurers seeking quests, the sound of coins being counted at the counter, the barkeep's bellowing. All of it faded away as if swallowed by the autumn air. The sky was high and piercingly blue. Not a single cloud. Kazuma ran his fingers through his unkempt black hair and narrowed his amber eyes as he looked up at the sky. The small scar on his left cheek stood out faintly white under the sharp autumn sunlight. With the fingertips of his other hand, he unconsciously stroked the red cord charm wrapped around his right wrist. (One week, huh.) Seven days had passed since Megumin's funeral. That gaze he'd felt at the ruined castle. The flickering of the crimson gem. And the presence that had clung to his back on the way home, refusing to fade. Since then, he dreamed every night. Dreams of Megumin laughing. Dreams of her beginning to chant Explosion. And dreams of her disappearing into the light. Every time he woke, the red cord on his right wrist was damp with sweat. (You think I can just write that off as my imagination? That thing was—) Kazuma told the guild receptionist Luna only that he had "a little errand to run," and decided to leave town. He hadn't said anything to his companions. Aqua was at the temple praying today, as always. Darkness was at the mansion, polishing Megumin's staff. He couldn't tell either of them that he was going to that ruined castle. If he did, there was no telling what would happen. Aqua would break down crying. Darkness would follow him in silence. Both were too much for Kazuma right now. (I'll go alone. That's fine.) He passed through the town's north gate. The old veteran guard gave him a slight raise of his hand. Kazuma raised one hand in response. Once outside the gate, the road suddenly grew lonely. From the paved highway to a path of packed earth. The fields spreading out on either side had finished their harvest and lay dry and brown. The distant forest was beginning to take on reds and yellows. The wind blew. It smelled of autumn. Dry grass, earth, and the smoke of some far-off bonfire. As he walked, Kazuma found he couldn't put into words the things churning inside his chest. (What am I trying to confirm, anyway?) There was no way Megumin was alive. He knew that. She had shattered her own soul to defeat the Demon King. He had seen it with his own eyes. The particles of light dissolving into the sky amid the sound of the castle crumbling. And yet, why. (What was that light from the crimson gem?) (Who was that presence?) He rolled the unanswerable questions around in his head, over and over. Each time, something small ached deep in his heart. Was it hope? Or was it something else entirely—a darker, more tenacious attachment? Even he didn't know. The clumsy man kept walking slowly, as if confirming the name of each emotion one by one. Fifteen kilometers north. The ruined castle was about an hour and a half away on foot. Along the way, he passed a single horse-drawn cart. The old driver looked at Kazuma with surprise. "Oh, aren't you... Master Kazuma? What are you doing out here?" "Just something. A little errand." "There's nothing ahead but the ruined castle... Don't tell me you're going there?" Kazuma didn't answer, only gave a slight shrug. The driver seemed to sense something and fell silent, urging his cart forward. The sound of horse hooves struck the dry earth. The sound receded into the distance. (There's nothing ahead but the ruined castle.) That's right. There was nothing ahead. A castle that had once been a frontline base of the Demon King's army. Now just a crumbling pile of stone where no one lived. And the place where Kazuma had left Megumin's staff—her keepsake. With each step, the red cord on his right wrist swayed. The charm Megumin had made for him. He hadn't taken it off once since she disappeared. The cord felt strangely warm. It was his imagination. He decided to think so. The autumn sun set quickly. By the time Kazuma reached the hill overlooking the ruined castle, the western sky had begun to stain crimson. The collapsed castle walls rose black against the sunset. Ivy clung to them, and each time the wind stirred the leaves, the entire castle seemed to breathe. Kazuma stopped. (Came back again, huh.) The same place as a week ago. The same time of day. The same stinging air. But it was different from that day. Today, he had come to confirm something. He passed through the gate. The fallen gate door was still stuck in the ground. He slipped past it and entered the castle. The air was cold. Musty, dusty, and—just as he'd sensed that day—a faint smell of gunpowder. His footsteps echoed through the stone corridor. One step, then another. Memories revived in time with his footfalls. That day, he had run through here. With his companions. Laughing. Risking their lives. And at the innermost altar— Kazuma bit his lip. His body remembered the way to the altar. Left at the corner. Over the collapsed pillar. Through the great hall with the caved-in ceiling, deeper and deeper. At last, he stood at the entrance to the chapel. The ceiling was still largely caved in, just as it had been that day. The sunset light dyed the pile of rubble orange. Kazuma took one step inside. And held his breath. A girl stood before the altar. Silver hair. Long enough to reach her waist. Streaks of red mixed through it. Under the sunset light, her hair seemed to be burning. She was short. A delicate frame. Clad in a black robe. (—Megumin.) The name surged up from the back of his throat. No. It couldn't be. Kazuma told himself. Megumin was dead. He had seen her become particles of light with his own eyes. And yet. The girl slowly turned around. Crimson eyes. A deep, transparent red like a crimson gem. Eyes that held a strong light, as if they could pull in whoever looked at them. From those eyes, tears spilled over. Endlessly. Quietly. Without a sound. The moment the girl saw Kazuma's face, she began to cry. "...I finally got to see you." Her voice was trembling. Kazuma couldn't move a single step. His legs were heavy, as if nailed to the stone floor. His heart pounded violently deep in his ears. His breathing grew shallow. "Ah... it really is Kazuma. The Kazuma from my... no, from Megumin's memories." The girl didn't even try to wipe her tears, only gazed at Kazuma. In that gaze dwelled nostalgia, pain, and something like an irresistible heat. Kazuma finally managed to open his mouth. "...Who are you?" His voice was lower and drier than he'd expected. The girl, her face still wet with tears, gave a faint smile. The way she smiled was so much like Megumin. The corners of her mouth loosened just slightly. The right corner rose a touch. That smile—full of confidence, and yet somehow childish. "I'm Eris. I was born from a fragment of Megumin's soul." A fragment of her soul. The words echoed heavily in Kazuma's mind. After the death of someone with powerful magic, the residue their soul leaves behind when it doesn't completely vanish. That was a soul fragment. (No way...) "As the price for defeating the Demon King, Megumin's soul shattered. But a part of those fragments settled inside me. I carry Megumin's memories. Her feelings, her words, her... habit of calling you 'foolish Kazuma.'" "—gh." Kazuma's throat caught. Foolish Kazuma. That was the special name Megumin had used only for Kazuma. "Foolish Kazuma. Megumin always said that. About you. Affectionately, exasperatedly, but in such a gentle voice." "Stop it." Kazuma's voice grew low and sharp. "Don't use Megumin's mouth to talk." Eris flinched, her shoulders trembling. Another tear traced down her white cheek. "...I'm sorry. I'm confusing you. I know. That my very existence here is a mistake." Her voice was thin, as if it might vanish at any moment. Kazuma looked at Eris again. Silver hair. Crimson eyes. A small body. Everything was identical to Megumin. But different. (It has to be different...) His mind understood. This girl was not Megumin. A different being who carried Megumin's memories. But his heart, his eyes, recognized her as Megumin. "...Hey, you. What are you doing here? Since when have you been here?" Kazuma asked, managing to feign calm. Eris wiped her tears and straightened her back a little. "I've been here since the moment I was born. Near the altar of this ruined castle. I don't know how much time has passed. But on the night you came to leave the staff, I saw you. And since then, I've been... waiting for you." "Waiting?" "Megumin's memories tell me. That Kazuma will surely come back here. So I waited. Because I had something I wanted to tell you." "Something to tell me..." Kazuma's chest stirred uneasily. He had a bad feeling. The kind of feeling that comes when you're about to be told something you shouldn't hear. Eris drew a deep breath. "At the very end, Megumin said this. 'I'm glad I met Kazuma.'" Kazuma's vision wavered. It was the first time he'd heard those words from someone else's mouth. Megumin's final words. Words Kazuma had never been able to tell anyone, locked away deep in his chest all this time. And now this girl spoke them, with Megumin's voice, with Megumin's face. "She was smiling. Crying and smiling. And she said this too. 'I wanted to be with Kazuma and everyone for so much longer.' 'But this was for the best.' 'If my Explosion could protect everyone, then it was worth it.'" Eris's voice broke apart with tears. "I inherited those feelings. Megumin's wish to protect you. So I... my reason for existing is surely just that." Kazuma couldn't say anything. There were a mountain of things he wanted to say. You're not Megumin. Don't go inheriting someone's feelings on your own. You have no right to. But the words hardened like stone in the back of his throat and wouldn't move. The sunset quietly deepened in color. Inside the chapel, darkness slowly fell. Eris, her eyes swollen from crying, still looked straight at Kazuma. "Kazuma. There's one more thing I want you to know." Her voice suddenly grew quiet. "Inside me dwells Megumin's Explosion." Kazuma's eyes widened. "You know what happens if I use it, don't you? Explosion converts the user's life force into magical power. Each use shortens your lifespan by a year. But in my case, it's different. I'm made from fragments of Megumin's soul. So each time I use it, what's shaved away isn't my lifespan. It's my memories, and parts of my existence, that disappear." "...What did you say?" "I can't exist for long. I knew that from the start. When I've used up all of Megumin's memories, that will be my end. But that's fine. Because that's my role." She wore an expression that was half tears, half smile. "So, Kazuma. I want to protect you. I won't say it's in Megumin's place. I don't have that right. But what Megumin wanted to protect, I want to protect too. That alone is the single reason I exist here." Kazuma slowly shook his head. "...Sorry, but I can't accept your offer." Eris's eyes wavered greatly. "I can't take you to town. I can't let you meet my companions." "...Why?" "You understand, don't you? If you show up with Megumin's face, Megumin's voice, Megumin's speech patterns, what happens to them? Aqua would collapse in tears. Darkness would re

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Episode 2

Name: Farewell to This Wonderful World: Loss and Rebirth in Axel
Author: Novelia

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