A week had passed since that meeting. Takeuchi Ryosuke's words still lingered somewhere in Chizuru's mind. "Please don't push yourself too hard either, Mother"—how many people in her life had ever said something like that to her? (This is wrong. I'm thinking about it again.) Chizuru gave her head a light shake and adjusted the tote bag in her hands. Saturday morning. She passed through the front gate of Ashihara Elementary School. The cherry blossoms in the schoolyard had already turned completely green. The season of petals was over, and yet somehow her mood remained caught in spring, unable to break free. "[gentle]Chizuru! Over here, over here!" Someone was waving from a second-floor window. Kurosawa Noriko. The representative of the Ashihara Supporters and PTA president—a woman whose energy seemed impossible for someone forty-four years old. Her short hair dyed a bright brown and her clear, carrying voice were instantly recognizable even from a distance. Chizuru had already sensed that she was well-informed and fond of gossip. Chizuru gave a small bow and entered the school building. The PTA meeting room was at the far end of the second-floor hallway. Nearly twenty parents had already gathered in the twelve-mat space. Folding chairs were arranged in rows, and the table was covered with coffee paper cups and festival materials. Through the window, the early summer breeze drifted lazily, and the edge of the curtain swayed gently. "[excited]Everyone, we have a new member joining us today! Shota's mother, Shinozaki Chizuru!" Twenty pairs of eyes turned toward Chizuru all at once. "[gentle]Thank you for having me." Chizuru straightened her posture slightly and bowed. Several voices came back—"Welcome," "Your son is in fifth grade, right?"—warm and welcoming. The atmosphere was kind, she thought. And yet, facing the smiles of all twenty people, she couldn't help but feel like she'd arrived from a different planet. Some of the other parents had come with their spouses. (So that's how it is, after all.) She told herself she didn't care, but she always cared a little anyway. Chizuru kept that from showing on her face and quietly took a seat in an empty chair. The meeting began. The main agenda was deciding which parents would run which food stalls for the "Ashihara Friendship Festival" in November. Yakisoba, cotton candy, a bazaar—each time Kurosawa, acting as moderator, read out a name, hands shot up from various places. "Who can help with sorting and pricing items for the bazaar?" Chizuru raised her hand slightly. "[gentle]If I could help with that..." "[excited]Chizuru, thank you! That's settled!" Chizuru was a little surprised by Kurosawa's immediate decision. But as she smiled and said "That's a relief" while making a checkmark, Chizuru thought she saw Kurosawa's eyes narrow just slightly. Midway through the meeting, Kurosawa moved to the seat next to Chizuru. Casually. Naturally. But Chizuru had a premonition that something was about to be said. "[sarcastic]Say, Chizuru. I hear you've been talking to Takeuchi-sensei a lot lately?" Just as she'd expected. Chizuru's body went rigid. "[serious]No... there was just a meeting about my son's trouble. That's all." "[sarcastic]Is that so? But you know, it's rare for that teacher to talk to a parent twice. He usually only says what's absolutely necessary." The voice was kept low, at that borderline volume where it might or might not reach those around them. Chizuru glanced at the parent next to her. Several people were subtly turning their way. Heat rose to her face. "[serious]Really, it was just about my son... Shota had some trouble in class, and the teacher was kind enough to handle it carefully." "[laughing]Well, I suppose so." Kurosawa grinned. Chizuru had already learned that this woman's grin was a sign that she was implying something. "[sarcastic]But Chizuru, you're beautiful. Takeuchi-sensei is human too. Maybe he's interested?" "[surprised]That's... that's not it at all!" Her voice came out a bit too loud. Several more pairs of eyes turned toward them. Chizuru covered her mouth. Kurosawa was shaking with laughter. (Why am I panicking like this?) The meeting continued. Chizuru spent the remaining thirty minutes pretending to look at the materials, restless and distracted the whole time. --- When the closing remarks ended and people began trickling out, Kurosawa came to Chizuru's side again. This time, she'd clearly timed it so they'd be completely alone. "[whispers]Hey, Chizuru. Let me tell you something." Chizuru found herself turning to face her completely. "Takeuchi-sensei... apparently something happened to him in the past. I don't know the details, but—that's probably why he's so quiet. That's what the mothers who've been here a long time say." "[surprised]What... what do you mean?" "[laughing]Who knows. I only know rumors myself." Kurosawa gave a light shrug and said "See you later," then walked away quickly. Chizuru was left alone in the hallway. (Rumors... I see.) From the PTA meeting room window, she could see the green of the schoolyard. Trees swaying in the wind. Someone's voice somewhere. Standing in that ordinary landscape, Kurosawa's whisper quietly spread through Chizuru's mind. Takeuchi Ryosuke's past. The reason for his silence. Something had happened—. (That's none of my business. There's no reason to pry into my son's teacher's past.) That's what she thought. And yet her feet wouldn't move. --- She arrived back at apartment 405 in the Tsurumi-dai housing complex in the early afternoon. Shota hadn't returned yet. He'd said he was going to a friend's house. Chizuru made tea in the kitchen and sat down at the table. Beyond the window, the Tsurumi River glimmered. The season was growing warmer, the sunlight stronger. (Takeuchi-sensei's past...) She was thinking about it again. Even though she'd told herself several times just moments ago not to. It wasn't curiosity, exactly. Something else was stirring restlessly inside her. The reason that teacher was expressionless. The reason his words were sparse. And yet why he never missed even the smallest changes in his students. It felt like all of it was connected by a single thread. (Stop it. What would knowing change?) She wrapped both hands around her teacup. It was warm. The wind outside made the window rattle. About an hour later, the front door clicked open. "[excited]I'm home!" "Welcome back. That was quick," Chizuru said, and Shota turned around as he took off his backpack. Her eleven-year-old son seemed to have grown a bit taller recently. "[gentle]Hey, Mom. The teacher asked me something at school today." "What did he ask?" "[gentle]'Is your mother doing well?' he said." Chizuru's hands stopped. "...Takeuchi-sensei asked that?" "[gentle]Yeah. He had a kind face when he said it. I didn't know the teacher could make that kind of expression." Shota didn't seem to be thinking deeply about it. He opened the refrigerator and started looking for juice. Chizuru remained motionless for a while. Is your mother doing well? Those words seeped slowly into the depths of her chest. Terrifyingly, naturally. (Is he... concerned about me? Or is that just normal care from a homeroom teacher?) Kurosawa's voice echoed back. "It's rare for him to talk to a parent like that." "I wonder if there's something there." And then Takeuchi's past—that formless story. The two thoughts began circling in her head, and Chizuru found herself murmuring "It's hot" and opening the balcony window. "[laughing]Huh? It's not hot at all. Mom, your face is red." "[serious]...It's hot." "You're weird." Shota poured his juice into a cup and was already turning on the living room TV. Chizuru stood with her hand on the open balcony window, letting the outside air wash over her. Her cheeks were flushed not because it was hot. She understood that much. --- Night fell. Shota was asleep. Chizuru went out onto the balcony alone. The night breeze was cool, washing away the heat of the day. Beyond the Tsurumi River, the ridge of Ashigaoka dissolved into the dark sky. The school lights were already off, but she found herself looking in that direction anyway. (What is Takeuchi-sensei doing right now?) After the thought came, Chizuru laughed silently. She really wanted to laugh. "[laughing]...What am I doing?" Saying it out loud made it even more absurd. A thirty-five-year-old single mother, worrying about her son's teacher in the middle of the night on a balcony. Even a high school girl wouldn't go this far. The warmth in her chest lingered. Just because Takeuchi had asked Shota, "Is your mother doing well?" That was all it took. (But I don't want to be hurt again.) After the laughter faded, something cold remained quietly behind. Chizuru still remembered the night when the man she'd trusted told her she was "a failure as a mother." Three years had passed, and yet those words alone remained somewhere inside her, surfacing without fail every time she drew even slightly closer to a man. She placed her hand on the balcony railing. The iron was cold and smooth beneath her palm. (Right now, I only need to think about Shota. That's all.) She told herself that. She always told herself that. But tonight, those words sounded just a little more hollow than usual. Takeuchi Ryosuke's past—the part of him no one knew—Chizuru still didn't understand. The single whisper Kurosawa had left behind, without providing an answer, continued to drift quietly through the night air. The wind blew. The smell of the river reached her. Chizuru took one deep breath and went back inside.