Vomiting Blood on Stage: The Super Express Car 7 Lie
The popular male idol group 'Chotokkyu' is on a nationwide tour. The members are called by car numbers and show perfect smiles and dancing on stage. But behind the scenes, there is suffering no one can speak of.
During rehearsal on the first day of the tour, Takashi (Car 7) coughs up blood for the first time in the wings. Only Kai (Car 2) sees it. Takashi says he doesn't want to cause worry, and Kai promises to support him silently.
Once the show begins, Takashi hides his poor condition and ke
Vomiting Blood on Stage: The Super Express Car 7 Lie - Nagoya Performance — The Protectors and the Continuers, the Crack of Shattered Trust
The sky over Nagoya had been gray and heavy since morning.
The moment he stepped off the Shinkansen, a muggy humidity clung to his skin. It was different from Tokyo or Osaka — a heavy, oppressive air unique to the Chubu region. Takashi let out a deep breath, unnoticed by anyone.
(I can't. This is worse than I thought.)
There was a weight deep in his chest. The strange feeling in his throat hadn't gone away since that night in Osaka. This morning, too, there'd been blood in the hotel sink. But he wouldn't tell anyone. He couldn't.
"Takashi-kun, are you okay? Your face — it's completely white!"
Takashi turned around to find Yuuki looking up at him with worried eyes. His soft, light-brown hair bounced in a fluffy mash cut. His large, dark eyes wavered with unease. The group's beloved klutz who got dimples when he smiled. Yuuki of Car 5.
" Huh? Oh, I'm fine. Just a little short on sleep."
Takashi reflexively plastered on a smile. His pale skin looked even more washed-out under the overcast sky. The color had drained from his lips.
"Really? Don't push yourself, okay?"
Yuuki stared at Takashi's face intently. The intensity of that gaze made Takashi falter, just slightly.
" Don't worry about it. I'm totally fine, yeah? Once I eat some Nagoya miso katsu, I'll be good as new."
"Geez, you always turn everything into a conversation about food."
Yuuki let out a small laugh. But behind that smile, Takashi could sense an unease that wouldn't quite wash away.
(Yuuki-kun's noticed. Something's off with me.)
Ever since the Osaka show, he'd felt Yuuki's gaze on him again and again. He also knew Yuuki had told Kai about hearing coughing from his room. And yet, Yuuki said nothing. He read the room, laughed it off, let it slide. That kindness stung right now.
* * *
The Nagoya venue was a large arena in the city. Capacity: about ten thousand. It was a crucial stop in the middle stretch of the national "BULLET TRAIN TOUR."
When they entered the dressing room, Kai and Ryouga were already there.
Kai was checking the room's temperature and humidity in front of the mirror. His chestnut hair was softly styled in a medium-short cut. A small gold piercing on his left ear caught the fluorescent light. He was like a mother to everyone. The one who noticed changes in his bandmates faster than anyone.
Ryouga was staring intently at the schedule spread across the table. His black hair was slightly long, bangs swept to the side. His narrow, dark eyes moved quickly across the page. Always ramrod straight — the group's leader. Ryouga of Car 3. Around his left wrist was an old bracelet whose story he'd never told anyone.
"Good morning."
Takashi called out cheerfully. Ryouga looked up.
"Yeah. Morning."
Ryouga's voice was as flat as ever. But his eyes paused on Takashi's face for just a moment.
"...You look pale. You all right?"
At those words, Takashi's heart skipped. It was rare for Ryouga to show concern about anyone's health.
" Huh? Really? I just woke up, that's all. I'll look better after I wash my face."
"I see. Then it's fine."
Ryouga didn't press further and dropped his gaze back to the schedule.
Kai quietly sidled up next to Takashi.
"...Takashi. Your hands are shaking."
Kai's voice was quiet enough that only Takashi could hear. His calm, light-brown eyes were fixed on Takashi's hands.
Takashi looked down in a panic. Sure enough, they were trembling faintly.
" Huh? Oh — that's just 'cause I drank too much coffee this morning. Caffeine, yeah? Caffeine."
"...You didn't drink coffee. What you had this morning was tea."
Kai's voice was quiet. But that quietness was, conversely, terrifying.
Takashi was at a loss for words. Kai saw everything. There was no bluffing past him.
"Kai-kun, listen, I'm really okay—"
"You're not okay."
Kai's voice grew just a little stronger.
"That night in Osaka, I heard you coughing in pain from your room. And this morning, something happened at the sink, didn't it?"
Takashi clenched his fist tight.
(Kai-kun's got me completely figured out.)
But he couldn't admit it. If he admitted it, Kai would worry even more. The mood in the group would get even worse.
" It's all in your head. I'm super fine, see? Look at me!"
Takashi spread both arms wide and forced a smile. Even he knew how much effort that smile was costing him right now.
Kai looked at Takashi with eyes that seemed to have made some kind of decision.
Then he turned around and faced Ryouga.
"Ryouga. We need to talk."
* * *
The air in the dressing room snapped taut in an instant.
Ryouga slowly raised his head.
"What. We don't have time. Make it quick."
Ryouga's voice was cold.
"I want Takashi pulled from today's show. No — not just today. After the Nagoya shows are done, I'm taking him to a hospital. He needs rest."
Kai's voice was clear. There was no hesitation.
The staff in the dressing room stopped what they were doing and looked over. He heard Yuuki gasp.
Ryouga tapped the schedule with his finger.
"Are you serious?"
"Dead serious. Takashi's body has hit its limit. If we put him on stage like this, something irreversible is going to happen."
"Irreversible? That's just your imagination."
Ryouga thrust the schedule in front of Kai.
"Look at this. This week's schedule. Nagoya, Fukuoka, Sapporo. All sold out. Fans are waiting at every venue. If we pull Takashi here, what do you think happens?"
"Is that worth trading for Takashi's life?"
Kai's voice dropped low.
"His life? You're exaggerating. Takashi danced perfectly on stage yesterday and the day before. He can do it today too. Stop with the unnecessary worrying and dragging the team down."
"Dragging the team down? I'm trying to protect my friend!"
Kai's voice echoed through the dressing room.
"Protect? That softness of yours is what's going to destroy this group!"
Ryouga raised his voice too.
" Can't you understand someone else's pain?!"
Kai took a step toward Ryouga.
" Pain? That doesn't matter! We're professionals! Professionals prove themselves with results! The world isn't kind enough that you can whine, take a break, and still succeed!"
Ryouga didn't back down an inch. The distance between them kept shrinking.
" Professionals? If being a professional means putting your friend on stage until his body breaks, then that's not a professional! That's just incompetence!"
" Incompetence?! What do you know?! Do you have any idea how many people are involved in this tour?! Staff, the agency, sponsors — and the fans! We're carrying all of their expectations! You want to throw all of that away with your emotional arguments?!"
Ryouga's face was red with anger. Kai's, conversely, had gone pale.
" It's not an emotional argument! This is about our friend's life!"
" That's what I'm saying — you're exaggerating! Takashi hasn't collapsed! He can still stand on stage! That's enough!"
" By the time he collapses, it'll be too late! Can't you understand that?!"
Kai's voice was shaking. It was a voice mixed with anger, fear, and helplessness.
* * *
Yuuki just stood there, stunned, watching the two of them argue.
(What do I do? I have to stop them. But I'm scared.)
Tears welled up in Yuuki's big eyes.
" B-Both of you, stop it...!"
Yuuki's voice trembled.
" Let Takashi-kun rest...! Ryouga-kun, please...!"
Yuuki pressed his hands together, pleading with Ryouga.
Ryouga glanced at Yuuki.
"Yuuki. You too, huh."
Ryouga's voice was cold.
"Listen carefully. If everyone isn't facing the same direction, the tour won't succeed. If even one person is missing, everyone's effort turns to nothing. Don't you get that?"
At Ryouga's words, Yuuki couldn't say anything.
(I know. I know that. But Takashi-kun is...)
Yuuki bit his lip. Tears spilled down his cheeks, one after another.
And still, he couldn't say anything. Maybe Ryouga was right. For the group to succeed, everyone had to be together. Even Yuuki could understand that.
But Takashi's complexion was abnormal — anyone could see it.
(What am I supposed to do...)
Yuuki hung his head and went silent.
* * *
That was when it happened.
" Come on, that's enough."
Takashi stepped between the two of them.
"Don't fight because of me."
Takashi's voice tried to hold onto its usual brightness. But it was clearly hoarse.
"I'm really okay. Sorry for making you worry. Ryouga-kun's right — we all have to stand on that stage together. I'll do it properly."
Takashi forced a smile.
But his face had lost all color. His lips were pale, and he looked like he could barely stay on his feet.
"Takashi, you..."
Kai reached out to grab Takashi's shoulder.
" I'm fine! Don't worry! I'm good, yeah? Look — once I eat some Nagoya miso katsu, I'll be right as rain!"
Takashi shook off Kai's hand and laughed.
The moment Kai saw that smile, a sharp pain shot through his chest.
(Takashi feels that asking for help is itself a betrayal of his friends.)
Kai understood.
To Takashi, showing weakness was the same as dragging the group down. If he endured, everyone could keep smiling. If he didn't collapse, the group would succeed. That was what he believed.
(What a heartbreaking resolve.)
Kai felt like his chest was being torn apart.
* * *
Ryouga stared at Takashi's smile.
(He can still do it.)
That was what Ryouga thought.
Takashi's smile was the same perfect smile that had captivated tens of thousands of fans on stage. Even when he felt terrible, he didn't let it show. That was what it meant to be a professional.
"...Fine. If that's what Takashi says, I'll believe him."
Ryouga said that and folded up the schedule.
"But if you collapse on stage, the group has no future. That much resolve — hold onto it."
Ryouga's voice was cold.
Takashi nodded, still smiling.
" Yeah. I know."
In that moment, the atmosphere in the dressing room hit rock bottom.
Kai was glaring at Ryouga. Ryouga ignored Kai and started giving instructions to the staff. Yuuki wiped his tears and silently began getting ready.
Takashi, still smiling, headed toward rehearsal.
Kai could only watch his back as he walked away.
* * *
Rehearsal began.
On stage, less than half the lights were on. The audience seats were dark and empty. Even so, Takashi danced with everything he had, just like always.
(I'm fine. I can still do this.)
Takashi repeated it over and over in his mind.
But his body was honest. After a turn, his vision wavered for a moment. His legs nearly tangled.
(No. Hold it together.)
Takashi gritted his teeth.
Kai watched him from the wings.
(Takashi, don't push yourself. Please.)
Kai's prayer didn't reach him.
* * *
Ryouga monitored the rehearsal from the wings.
(His movements are slightly delayed.)
Ryouga didn't miss the faint disruption in Takashi's dancing.
(But it's still within acceptable range. On the real thing, adrenaline will kick in. No problem.)
That was Ryouga's judgment.
Then, a memory flickered through Ryouga's mind.
* * *
A doctor's house. White walls. The smell of antiseptic.
"98? Why isn't it 100?"
His father's voice. Cold, emotionless.
"With grades like these, you think you can become a doctor?"
His mother's voice. Filled with disappointment.
Ryouga clutched the test paper and just stared down at the floor.
(If I'm not perfect, I won't be acknowledged.)
Ryouga's only escape was the world of anime. The protagonists on screen were always perfect. But even when they weren't, they had friends who supported them.
(If only I had friends like that.)
But in reality, there was no one.
Ryouga came to reject showing weakness entirely. If he showed weakness, he'd have to go back to that house. If he wasn't perfect, he wouldn't be loved.
(Make the tour a success. That alone is my proof of existence.)
Ryouga unconsciously touched the old bracelet on his left wrist.
* * *
Rehearsal ended.
Takashi came off stage and put a hand against the wall.
(Hah... hah...)
His breathing was ragged. His heart pounded painfull
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