Behind the Clow Cards: Tomoyo Daidouji's Secret Filming Diary - Episode 4: Confession and Destruction — Fading Memories, a Cold Warning

The back of the school building after class was dead silent, as if the daytime clamor had never been. From the athletic field, the shouts of the sports clubs drifted over, distant. The wind slipped through the gaps between the buildings. Tomoyo stood in the dim, hushed air behind the school. (To be called out to a place like this... I wonder what this is about.) In her hands, the usual video camera. Lately, the time she spent holding it up had been shrinking. Even if it was to protect the record of Sakura's battles, being away from filming left her a little lonely. Then — footsteps approached. She turned. Li Shaoran stood there, his short black hair stirring in the wind. His amber eyes held a serious light. "Sorry for calling you out like this." Shaoran looked vaguely uncomfortable, his gaze drifting slightly away. "Oh my, Li Shaoran. What ever is the matter, so formally?" Tomoyo quietly observed him. Usually he carried himself with far more confidence. But not today. His shoulders were tense, and he bit his lip again and again. (Is this some grave matter, I wonder?) Shaoran was silent for a while. The air behind the school felt especially heavy. "Daidouji, there's... something I want to ask you." "What might it be? If it's something I can help with, I'll gladly answer." Tomoyo looked straight into his eyes. Shaoran took a single deep breath. Then, as if he'd made up his mind, he spoke. "I'm thinking of... confessing to Sakura." Tomoyo's heart gave a small leap. (Oh my...) She'd had a feeling. The way Shaoran looked at Sakura had been something special for a long time now. "But I just can't figure out the timing. You're Sakura's closest friend. So... I wanted to ask you." His voice was utterly earnest. The tips of his ears were faintly red. Tomoyo felt a gentle warmth spreading deep in her chest. (Li Shaoran thinks of Sakura with such sincerity.) She was moved by the earnestness of it. But at the same time, Tomoyo knew. She knew just how oblivious Sakura was when it came to matters of love. "Li Shaoran. I think those feelings of yours are truly wonderful." Tomoyo spoke slowly, choosing her words with care. "But Sakura is... very dense about such things. Without some kind of catalyst, she may not even notice." Shaoran's face clouded in an instant. "...I figured as much." His shoulders slumped. The sight was so frail it was hard to imagine it belonged to the usual cool-headed Shaoran. "Oh dear, oh dear — but there's no need to give up. Sakura is such an honest person, after all. If you take your time and convey your feelings slowly, I'm sure—" Tomoyo smiled encouragingly. Shaoran lifted his head. There was still hesitation in his eyes. But a little more light had returned than before. "...Yeah. Thanks, Daidouji." He gave a small, embarrassed bow of thanks. "Not at all. If it's something I can help with, I'm always here to talk." Tomoyo smiled brightly. Shaoran walked off toward the far side of the school building. Watching his retreating figure, Tomoyo let out a soft breath. (There's someone who thinks of Sakura with such sincerity. Just knowing that makes me... somehow happy.) And yet, something pricked at the depths of her chest. (All I can do is stand beside Sakura and keep filming her.) That helplessness quietly tightened its grip around Tomoyo's heart. --- That night, Tomoyo shut herself in her filming room. The room was sealed completely by blackout curtains, and only the glow of the monitor softly lit the space. Tomoyo sat at her desk, organizing old video data. (Sakura's precious records. Protecting these is my role.) On the monitor, footage from third grade played. Sakura, having just transferred in, her face a little tense. "Nice to meet you! I'm Kinomoto Sakura!" The moment she heard that voice, Tomoyo's chest tightened. (That day, Sakura gave me an eraser. I've never forgotten that smile.) The footage flowed on, one clip after another. Sakura in her first battle costume, grinning bashfully. "Wow, it's so cute! Thank you, Tomoyo!" The day they laughed together in the classroom after school. "Hey hey, Tomoyo, wanna do today's homework together?" Every single one of them was a treasure beyond price to Tomoyo. And then it happened. The air in the room suddenly turned cold. Tomoyo raised her head. The monitor's light flickered violently for an instant. "...Oh?" The next moment, the darkness in the corner of the room stirred, wavering. (What...?) Tomoyo caught her breath. From within the darkness, a small shadow materialized. About the size of a cat. Its outline was blurred, its form undefined. But it was unmistakably there. "That shadow...!" Tomoyo instinctively raised her camera. But the shadow paid the camera no mind at all. Soundlessly, it touched the external hard drive sitting on the desk. In that instant, the footage on the monitor dissolved into static. "No...! Stop!" Tomoyo cried out. Something crumbled away from the hard drive with a sound. The data vanished like sand, hissing as it went. "Don't erase Sakura's memories!" Clutching the camera to her chest, Tomoyo lunged at the shadow. But the shadow nimbly dodged. And the next moment, it seized her arm with something cold and hard. "Kyaa!" The shadow's strength was beyond anything its appearance suggested. Tomoyo's body was slammed against the wall. A dull pain shot through her back. "Don't film. Don't record. Your eyes are dangerous." A low voice, clinging to the ear, echoed through the room. "No...! Let go of me! I only want to protect Sakura!" Though her vision blurred with tears, Tomoyo desperately kept guarding the camera. Still gripping her arm, the shadow reached its other hand toward the videotapes lined up on the shelf. The tapes crumbled, as if melting away. "Please, stop...! Those are my... my precious...!" Her pleas never reached the shadow. One after another, the records on the shelf turned into piles of sand. The memory of that eraser from third grade. The brilliance of the moment Sakura first used magic. The countless smiles from after school — casual, and yet irreplaceable. All of it, being lost. "Nooo!" Tomoyo struggled desperately to tear her arm free from the shadow's grip. Her arm scraped against the wall, and blood welled up slowly. And still, she would not let go of the camera — not for anything. The shadow's voice whispered at her ear. "What can a powerless thing like you protect?" Those words pierced the deepest place in Tomoyo's heart. (I have no magic. I can't fight. All I can do is protect Sakura through filming.) (And now even that filming is being destroyed...) Despair wrapped around Tomoyo's whole body. And yet, even so, Tomoyo never loosened her grip on the camera. "Let go...! Please...! Don't take away my... my right to film Sakura...!" Tomoyo's scream was hoarse with tears. How much time had passed? All at once, the shadow's strength weakened. It released her arm. And then, soundlessly, it melted into the darkness in the corner of the room and vanished. Tomoyo crumpled to the floor. All the strength drained from her body, and her fingertips trembled in small, quick shivers. "...Uu, uuu..." Tomoyo wept, stifling her voice. After a while, with trembling hands, she checked the camera. The camera itself was unharmed. But most of the data stored inside was gone. "...No..." Her vision warped with tears again. --- The next morning. Tomoyo walked to school with Sakura, as always. Morning light bathed the slopes of Tomoeda in a soft glow. The sky was blue, endlessly blue. But Tomoyo's heart was covered in thick clouds. She couldn't get last night out of her head. (I mustn't let Sakura notice.) Tomoyo forced herself to make her usual smile. "Hey, Tomoyo!" Sakura glided along on her rollerblades and peered into Tomoyo's face. "What is it, Sakura?" "Has your filming been a little less lately?" Sakura's voice wavered, just slightly, with loneliness. Tomoyo's chest ached sharply. "I love watching the videos you take, Tomoyo. ...If something's going on, tell me, okay?" Sakura gazed at Tomoyo's face with worry. Under that direct stare, Tomoyo felt as though she might be seen straight through to the bottom of her heart. (Sakura, I'm sorry. Because of me, you're worrying.) Keeping her smile in place, Tomoyo shook her head. "Th-there's nothing like that. It's just... the editing has been taking a little time." "I see. ...Okay, got it. But really, if anything happens, tell me, okay? It'll definitely be all right, Tomoyo!" Sakura smiled brightly. That smile, if anything, only tightened the grip on Tomoyo's heart. (I'm sorry, Sakura. I'm lying to you.) Tomoyo apologized over and over in her heart. The school gate came into view. She parted ways with Sakura and headed for her own classroom. From the hallway window, Tomoyo looked up at the sky. "Sakura, I'm sorry. I only want to protect you, and yet..." Her murmur reached no one's ears, dissolving into the blue sky. --- After school. Tomoyo walked alone through the back garden of the school building. (I'll go straight home today. And I have to restore as much of the data as I can.) Just as she thought that, a voice called out to her. "Daidouji." She turned. Hiragizawa Eriol stood beneath the cherry tree. His dark navy hair, nearly black, swayed softly in the wind. His deep purple eyes wore a gentle smile, and yet somewhere within them lurked a cold light. "Hello, Hiragizawa." Tomoyo gave a slight bow. Eriol slowly approached her. "Daidouji. Your powers of observation are dangerous." Eriol spoke quietly, never letting his smile fade. A chill ran down Tomoyo's spine. "If you wish to protect Sakura, then don't dig any deeper than this." Those words carried the same ring as the shadow's warning the night before. Tomoyo stared fixedly into Eriol's eyes. "Do you... know about this shadow?" Her voice did not tremble. Eriol's smile deepened faintly. "Whether I know is not the issue. The issue is that you have no power." His words were cold, piercing straight into Tomoyo's chest. "When the powerless draw near to secrets, they only lose what they hold dear. Like your precious records." (So this person does know something after all.) Tomoyo tried to argue back. But no words came. Eriol was right — she had no power at all. Last night, when the shadow attacked, she'd been utterly helpless. "Well then, Daidouji. Do take care." Leaving those words behind, Eriol turned and walked away. Tomoyo could only watch his retreating figure. (I have no power.) That fact pressed down on her, heavy. --- Night. Tomoyo sat on the floor of her filming room. The monitor displayed an error message from the recovery software. "No recoverable data." "...I suppose it really is hopeless." Tomoyo let out a deep sigh. The data the shadow had destroyed last night was completely lost. She opened her desk drawer and took an eraser from a small drawstring pouch. A small, half-used eraser. Tomoyo cradled it gently in both hands. "I have no magic. I can't fight. All I can do is film, and now even that's been destroyed..." Tears spilled over. "I only want to protect Sakura's smile. And yet just by being there, I'm making her anxious..." Still clutching the eraser, Tomoyo wept, stifling her voice. Then her smartphone gave a small buzz. She looked at the screen. It was a message from Touya. "Hey. You okay? If something's up, tell me." Tomoyo stared at the tear-wet screen for a while. (Touya...) Slowly, she typed a reply. "Thank you, Touya. But... this is something I must resolve myself." She pressed send. (I have to carry this alone. Because this is my battle.) Tomoyo looked out the window. The darkness of night spread quietly beyond. "Am I... doing the wrong thing?" Her murmur was swallowed by the dark. In her hand, only the eraser felt faintly warm.

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Episode 4

Name: Behind the Clow Cards: Tomoyo Daidouji's Secret Filming Diary
Author: Novelia

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