Watching You From The Shadows: Haato Akai's Secret Diary - A Shadowy Love Begins

The after-school chime drowned out the classroom chatter. "Ahh, finally over, finally over! Isn't tomorrow's quiz gonna be brutal?" I slumped over my desk and said that to the girl next to me. My fluffy brown hair swayed along with the pin fastened behind my ear. My friend Miho laughed, banging on her desk like she was totally done for the day. "Haato, you always say it's gonna be brutal, but you end up scoring fine anyway." "Whaaat, no way!" I made a pouty face. Miho and my other friend Satomi chimed in together, teasing me with "Yeah, you totally do." Mixed in with those bright voices, I could hear the softball team's shouts from outside the window. The grounds of Harumiya Prefectural High School fill up with the sounds of club activities once classes end. Our town, Harumiya City, is a small place with the sea to the south and low mountains to the north. The high school sits right in the middle of it, just east of the Soyokaze River. From the classroom window, you could see the row of cherry trees lining the riverbank. The early summer greenery was growing thick and bushy. "Well, we've got club. Haato, see you tomorrow!" "Yeah, see you tomorrow!" I waved with a smile and left the classroom. In the hallway, I made sure no one was around. Outside the window it was still bright, but the hallway was a little dim. The smell of mops lingered from the cleaning time that had just ended. My heart was pounding. —Yeah, it's probably fine. I glanced around once more, then gently pushed the classroom door open. The room that had been so lively just moments ago was now empty and dead silent. The desks were neatly arranged, and the evening light lit up only half of the blackboard. I walked over to the row by the window. My footsteps echoed, click-clack. Satou Takeru's desk. The seat right in the middle, where the sun hits perfectly. My seat is diagonally behind his, so I'm always looking at his back. During softball in P.E. today, he was so incredibly cool. The moment he dove and caught that fly ball, the whole class erupted in cheers— I pulled a pale blue envelope from my chest pocket. My hand was trembling a little. Inside, a single small piece of paper. *"That was a nice catch in softball during P.E. today. I'm always watching how hard you try."* This makes the third letter. The first one went in his pencil case. The second, in his shoe locker. I gently slipped the envelope under Takeru's pen case. —If I don't get caught, I won't get hurt. I murmured that in my heart. I remembered something from when I was little. It was the spring of fourth grade. I wrote a love letter for the very first time in my life. I folded it in quarters and put it in the desk of the boy I liked. The next morning, when I went to the classroom—that letter was taped to the blackboard. "From Akai Haato" was written in big letters with a marker, and everyone in class was pointing and laughing. —I remember it. I remember it so vividly. Back then, the laughter spun round and round in my head, and even though I wanted to run away, my legs wouldn't move. Ever since then, I've made absolutely sure to hide my feelings of love. But with Takeru, I just couldn't give up. So I thought about it. I just need to not get caught. I'll get close to Takeru from the shadows, without anyone noticing. That's my "Shadow Love Operation." It's a kinda lame name, but it's an important operation to me. After I finished placing the letter, I hurried out of the classroom so no one would spot me. I changed my shoes at the lockers and dashed out the school gate. It was still bright outside. The sky was starting to turn pink, and my fluffy hair looked translucent, tinted orange. I'm 158 centimeters tall, and my build is a bit delicate. But I try not to let that bother me, always moving around energetically. I walked along the riverside path, my navy school blazer flapping. The surface of the Soyokaze River was sparkling. On the opposite bank, in the residential area, I could see the arcade of Komachi Shopping Street. —Alright, today's operation was a success too. Feeling just a little bit giddy, I walked toward Shiokaze Bridge. The bridge is about a ten-minute walk south from the high school. It's a small bridge over the river, just for pedestrians and bicycles, and it's incredibly beautiful in the evening. The setting sun reflects off the river's surface, turning everything around golden. But— When I reached the foot of the bridge, I stopped. I could hear voices. Yelling. I instinctively hid in the shadow of a nearby utility pole. My heart was pounding loudly. There were figures on the bridge. Three guys, and one girl. Yamada Hana. She's in the same class as me, Takeru's childhood friend. A quiet girl who's always reading a book. Right now, her face was tense, surrounded by three upperclassmen. —Why is Hana here? "Hey, c'mon, just hear us out." One of the upperclassmen tried to grab Hana's arm. That's when it happened. "Don't you lay a hand on her!" Takeru's voice. I gasped and looked at the bridge. Takeru came running. Still in his school uniform from the way home, he threw his bag aside and stood in front of Hana, blocking their way. "What do you want? This ain't your business." "It is my business. She's my—" Takeru cut his words short and clenched his fists. He faced opponents much bigger than him head-on. —Don't, Takeru. Pressed against the utility pole, I couldn't tear my eyes away. Takeru's face was dead serious, completely different from the smile he shows in the classroom. I'd never seen that look in his eyes before. An upperclassman shoved Takeru. But Takeru didn't fall. He got right back up and stood in front of the guy again. A scrape formed on his face, blood seeping out. Even so, he absolutely refused to back down. —Why? Why are you so desperate? My chest tightened painfully. Takeru's gaze was fixed solely on Hana. He was putting his body on the line just to protect her. Those eyes would never be directed at me. I bit my lip. In the end, the upperclassmen spat out some curses and left. Only Takeru and Hana remained on the bridge. "You okay, Hana?" Takeru placed a hand on Hana's shoulder and spoke gently. "Takeru... thank you. But you didn't have to be so reckless..." "It's fine. I'll always protect you." I heard it. —I'll always protect you. Those words pierced my chest. Hana was crying. Takeru was stroking her head. With his face covered in scrapes, he was smiling a terribly gentle smile. A tear spilled from my eye. —That voice. That smile. It's all for Hana. I cried, stifling my sobs. Crouching in the shadow of the utility pole, I buried my face in my knees. Tears soaked into my uniform skirt. —It's frustrating. So incredibly frustrating. I'm jealous. I'm jealous of Hana. I can't tell anyone about this feeling. If I did, everyone would hate me. Nobody knows that the bright and cheerful Akai Haato is hiding such ugly, messy jealousy. After I stopped crying, I walked unsteadily in the opposite direction from my house. About 500 meters south of the high school, there's a convenience store called Daily Port. It's a chain only found around this area, a place where high school students often hang out. I passed through its automatic doors just like that. Cool air, and the smell of oden. I picked up a rice ball and a bottle of tea. But my feet stopped in front of the ice cream section. Reflected in the glass of the freezer case was my own face. My big brown eyes were red and swollen from crying. My fluffy short bob was messy, the pin behind my ear about to fall off. The mouth that should have shown a fang-like tooth when I smiled was pressed into a tight line. —This is the real me. Completely different from the bright smile I show in the classroom. Worrying over little things, jealous of Hana, messing with Takeru from the shadows. That's my true face. "...Even from the shadows." I murmured quietly. "Even from the shadows, if I can just touch Takeru's heart a little bit, that's enough." Telling myself that, I forced a smile at my reflection in the glass. Lifting the corners of my mouth, narrowing my eyes. —Yeah, this is the usual me. Bright, and popular with everyone. If I don't get caught, I won't get hurt. So I'll keep writing letters from now on too. That's what I had decided, when— I saw figures outside the convenience store. It was Takeru and Hana. The two of them were walking this way together. Takeru was pressing a handkerchief to his scrapes, smiling at Hana. "Let's grab some ice cream on the way home, Hana." "Okay. But please, no more reckless stuff, Takeru." "Protecting you is my job, after all." Takeru said it bashfully and turned his face away. I panicked and crouched down behind the snack shelf. My heart was racing, and I couldn't breathe. —Please don't find me. The sound of their voices gradually faded. It seemed they didn't come into the store and just walked on past. I slowly stood up. The rice ball I'd been holding was squished and crushed. I'd been gripping it tightly without realizing it. I threw it in the trash. Tears threatened to spill out again, but I held them back, fixed my messy hair, and refastened the pin that was about to fall off behind my ear. "...I'll write another letter tomorrow." I told myself. "If it's from the shadows, no one will ever find out that I'm crying. Not Takeru, not Hana. No one." When I left the convenience store, the sky was already starting to get dark. Summer was near, so the wind was lukewarm. I faced the Soyokaze River and stared blankly at its flow for a while. The river's surface swayed gently, reflecting the light of the streetlamps. What kind of letter should I write tomorrow? What words should I use tomorrow to tell Takeru, "I'm watching you"? I started walking toward home. In my left hand, I traced the pocket where the small, pale blue envelope had been. It was empty now, but I ran my finger along it for some reason. —I'll write it properly tomorrow too. Thinking that, I felt my heart become just a little bit lighter. But really, I know. The fact that Takeru's feelings are directed at Hana—that's something I can't change. No matter how many letters I write from the shadows, no matter how many cookies I put in, Takeru will absolutely never look my way. But—even so, it's okay. For now, that's still okay. Because if I don't get caught, I won't get hurt. Murmuring that, I kept walking down the nighttime road, stepping firmly on my own shadow.

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Episode 1

Name: Watching You From The Shadows: Haato Akai's Secret Diary
Author: Novelia

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