When Saku wakes in a hospital bed with no memory of the past three years, the world feels like a stranger's—except for the row of cherry trees along the Meguro River, which stir something deep in his chest. He doesn't know why the falling petals feel like a promise. He doesn't know why the kind colleague who visits him with a bouquet of cherry branches seems to be holding back tears behind his smile.
Minato has spent three years loving Saku in secret. Now, standing at the edge of a spring that
Don't Forget, the Continuation of Spring - The Rain That Crumbles Lies — The Night I Couldn't Chase After You
Winter nights carry sound well.
The rain drumming against Minato's window filled the quiet room. November was nearly over, and the streets along the Meguro River lay wrapped in cold rain. Even inside the heated apartment, standing near the glass made the chill outside seep into your skin.
From the kitchen came the sound of the kettle boiling. A small, steady hiss.
" Coffee okay? Or would you rather have tea?"
Minato called out to Saku, who sat on the living room sofa. He kept his voice as ordinary as he could.
" Coffee! I love the coffee you make, Minato-san."
Saku's voice was bright, as always. His soft chestnut hair glowed faintly under the living room light. His light-brown eyes were fixed on Minato's back.
(Love it, huh.)
Minato took two mugs from the cupboard. One was deep indigo. The other was white with thin gold lines. Three years ago, they'd picked them out together at a knickknack shop along the Meguro River—not a matching set, but they'd sat side by side on the same shelf. Saku had picked up the indigo one and said, "This one suits you, Minato-san."
Saku didn't remember that.
(That's fine.)
(Even if Saku doesn't remember, I do.)
Minato recited it silently and spooned the coffee grounds into the dripper. Steam rose, and a bittersweet fragrance spread through the room.
" Hey, Minato-san."
Suddenly, Saku said his name.
" Hm? What is it?"
Minato answered without looking up from his hands.
" Your place always feels so calming, Minato-san. ...I wonder why. I feel like I've been here before, too."
Minato's fingertips, resting on the dripper's handle, stopped for a moment.
(You have. Plenty of times.)
(Three years ago, Saku, you came to this room over and over.)
(Sleeping on the sofa, standing in the kitchen, laughing beside me.)
Minato let out a slow breath.
" ...You think so? It's just your imagination."
The warmth in his voice dropped, just slightly. He could tell himself. When he swallowed what he really wanted to say, Minato's voice always turned a little cold.
Saku was staring at Minato's back. Minato noticed. He noticed, and didn't turn around.
(Saku's been watching me a lot lately.)
(As if searching my expressions, my gestures, the things behind my words.)
Ever since Souichirou appeared in the autumn, the way Saku looked at Minato had been changing, little by little. Behind the innocence, a serious light had begun to mix in—something trying to confirm.
" ...Hey, Minato-san. The other day, I found a key on your shelf. One I'd never seen before."
Minato's heart gave a single, hard thump.
(You found it.)
(The key.)
(That key.)
Minato stopped pouring water into the dripper. The thin stream wavered over the grounds. The smell of coffee hung thick and heavy in the room.
" ...A key? Which one, I wonder. If it's the house key, that's by the front door."
Minato spoke without turning around. His voice as normal as he could make it.
" No. Not the house key. The kind that comes as a set of two. Silver, and new. Where's that one from?"
Minato closed his eyes.
(Ah.)
(You found it.)
(Finally.)
Somewhere deep in his chest, something crumbled, quietly.
―――
That key was to the apartment Minato had toured with Saku.
The place they were supposed to live together. A newer building about ten minutes' walk from the Meguro River. A sunny six-tatami living room and a small bedroom. The kitchen had white tile and a counter facing the living room—Saku had laughed and said, "I want to cook here."
Once the contract was signed, they were each supposed to keep one of the two keys. But then Saku had his accident, and everything stopped. Both keys stayed with Minato.
He couldn't throw them away.
There was no way he could throw them away.
Those keys were tangible proof of the future Saku and Minato were supposed to live together.
" ...Oh, those. Those are, um, the key to the locker at work where I keep documents."
Minato lied.
He lied again.
" A locker at work? But did your company even have lockers?"
Saku's voice sharpened, just a little.
" We do. They installed new ones recently. Ki'i-san and I share them, the two of us."
Minato poured the coffee into the mugs. The deep indigo mug and the white one with gold lines. Steam curled softly upward.
" ...Huh."
Saku didn't press further.
Minato set the mugs on a tray and carried them to the living room.
" Here you go. It's hot, so be careful."
Minato placed the white mug in front of Saku.
" Thank you."
Saku wrapped both hands around the mug. His pale fingertips misted with steam.
Minato sat across from him, warming the indigo mug in his palms.
(It's fine. Don't worry about it.)
(It's still fine.)
(Saku doesn't know what that key is.)
(He believes it's the key to a work locker.)
Minato took a sip of coffee. It was bitter. Same beans as always, and yet today it tasted strangely bitter on his tongue.
" Hey, Minato-san. Can I stay over tonight?"
Minato looked up.
Saku was holding his mug in both hands, gazing steadily at Minato's face. His light-brown eyes carried a serious light.
" Sure. ...If that's what you want, Saku."
Minato answered with a smile.
(I should really send him home.)
(I shouldn't let Saku stay in this room for long.)
(Before he learns about the key, or the application form.)
But Minato couldn't tell Saku to go home. There was no way he could.
That Saku wanted to stay in Minato's room made him unbearably happy.
" Yes! Then tonight, let's watch a movie together, Minato-san. I wonder if there's something good on."
Saku smiled happily. A small dimple formed on his right cheek.
That smile squeezed Minato's chest tight.
(Ah, Saku.)
(I'm lying to you.)
(The more you smile, the deeper my lies go.)
―――
The night deepened.
The rain was still falling. The sound against the window rose and fell as the wind gusted.
The two of them sat side by side on the sofa, watching an old romance film. A Japanese movie from about ten years ago that Saku had picked. The story of a man who falls in love all over again with a lover who lost her memory.
(Of all the movies to pick.)
Minato smiled wryly to himself.
Saku watched the screen intently. Now and then he nodded faintly at the protagonist's lines, or his eyes grew wet. Innocent reactions, emotions unhidden. Minato stole glances at his profile.
" ...Minato-san."
Suddenly, Saku said his name.
" Hm?"
" The main character in this movie reminds me of you, Minato-san."
Minato looked at Saku in surprise.
" What? Me? How?"
" I mean, the protagonist was really her lover, but he lies and says he's just a friend to the person who lost her memory. ...I get the feeling you're hiding something from me too, Minato-san."
Minato's breath stopped for an instant.
(Saku.)
(You've gotten that far already.)
" ...I'm not hiding anything. You're overthinking it, Saku."
Minato laughed.
Saku stared at Minato's smile.
" ...Maybe."
Saku murmured quietly and turned his eyes back to the screen.
The movie was reaching its climax. The scene where the protagonist confesses everything to the lover who lost her memory.
" I loved you. Three years ago, and now, and always."
The protagonist's voice came from the television.
On the sofa, Minato clenched his fist tight.
(I want to say it too.)
(I want to say that to Saku too.)
(But I can't.)
(If I say it, Saku will know my lies.)
(That I lied about being just a coworker.)
(That we argued the day of the accident.)
(He'll know all of it.)
Minato touched the leather bracelet on his right wrist. The thin leather bracelet he'd bought with Saku three years ago. Saku no longer remembered where it was bought.
―――
The movie ended, and for a while the two of them watched the credits in silence.
" ...That was a good movie."
Minato said quietly.
" Yeah. ...I cried."
Saku rubbed his eyes and gave a small laugh.
" You're a soft touch, Saku."
Minato took a tissue and handed it to him.
" Well, it was sad. The protagonist suffered so much... he couldn't tell the lover who lost her memory that he loved her."
Saku pressed the tissue to his eyes as he spoke.
" ...Does that kind of thing not bother you, Minato-san?"
Saku peered into Minato's face as he asked.
" It's not that it doesn't bother me. ...Just not as much as you."
Minato smiled wryly.
(Of course it bothers me.)
(The protagonist of that movie is me.)
(Every day, I'm doing the same thing as that protagonist.)
Saku was gazing steadily at Minato's face.
" ...Hey, Minato-san. There's something I want to ask you."
Saku's voice suddenly turned serious.
Minato braced himself.
" ...What?"
" Why are you so kind to me, Minato-san?"
Minato was at a loss for an answer.
(Why am I kind?)
(That's obvious.)
(Because I love you.)
(Three years ago, and now, and always.)
" ...Because we're coworkers. When someone's in trouble, helping them is the normal thing to do."
Minato lied again.
Hearing his answer, Saku looked a little sad.
" ...Because we're coworkers, huh."
Saku murmured quietly and looked down.
" I'm starting to not be able to think of you as just a coworker, though."
Minato's heart leaped hard again.
(Saku.)
(What does that mean?)
(What do you think of me?)
Minato couldn't say anything.
―――
" Minato-san, is it okay if I take the bath first?"
Saku said, standing up from the sofa.
" Yeah, go ahead. The towels are here."
Minato took a fresh towel from the washroom shelf and handed it to Saku.
" Thank you."
Saku took the towel and headed for the bathroom.
The door to the changing area clicked shut, and soon the sound of the shower started.
Minato sat on the sofa and looked up at the ceiling.
(Saku is in my room.)
(Saku is showering in my room.)
(Three years ago, that was normal.)
(Now it feels like a miracle.)
Minato rose slowly and went to the kitchen. Two mugs sat in the sink. The indigo mug and the white one with gold lines.
(I'll just do the dishes.)
Minato soaped the sponge and began washing the mugs.
That was when it happened.
"...Minato-san."
Saku's voice came from the living room.
Minato turned. Saku had come out of the bathroom. His hair was wet, a towel draped over his shoulder.
" Oh, you're out already? That was fast."
" ...Yeah. Um, I kind of looked at the shelf."
Saku's face was pale.
" ...At what?"
Minato's voice trembled.
Saku slowly extended his right hand.
In it, he held a silver key ring and a folded document.
(Ah.)
(It's over.)
Minato stood frozen where he was.
―――
What Saku held was the two keys and the tour application form.
On the form, Minato's and Saku's names were listed side by side, along with the detailed floor plan of a room they had never seen. The layout they'd looked over together so many times. The room where Saku had pointed happily and said, "We'll put the sofa here, and the bookshelf here."
" ...What is this?"
Saku's voice was low and cold.
Minato searched for words.
He opened his mouth, then closed it.
(What, you ask.)
(Those are the keys and the application form for the room you and I were supposed to live in.)
(I was your lover.)
(Three years ago, we were going to move in together.)
(But you had your accident, and you forgot everything.)
(And I lied and told you I was just a coworker.)
(I want to tell you. I want to tell you everything.)
(But I can't.)
Minato gripped the bracelet on his right wrist tight.
" Minato-san, my name is on this. Your name is too. ...This is an application form for a room the two of us were going to live in, isn't it?"
Saku thrust the form in front of Minato's eyes.
The paper trembled faintly.
Saku's hand was trembling.
" ...Saku."
Minato said his name.
" Answer me. What is this? Why is my name on it? I don't know this room. I don't remember ever promising to live with you."
Saku's voice sounded less angry than sad.
(You don't know.)
(You don't remember.)
(That's right. You forgot.)
(Three years ago, you told me you wanted to live together.)
(We
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