Love in the Shadow of Roboko ~ My Feelings, Left Here ~
I'm Roboko. A clumsy, slightly useless side character, madly in love with the protagonist, Takeru.
At school, Takeru is always next to his childhood friend Akane. She's energetic, cheerful, and most of all, they're perfect together. Seeing them talk makes my chest ache. But it's okay. Because I'm just a side character.
Then one day, Haruto, the super-popular and ridiculously hot guy in class, confesses his feelings to me out of nowhere! 'I've been watching you for a while, Roboko. Being with y
Love in the Shadow of Roboko ~ My Feelings, Left Here ~ - Akane's Tears, Roboko's Resolve. Monday.
That's wrong, I thought.
My head understood. It was already Monday, and it was time to go to school. And yet — my body wouldn't move.
Roboko curled up under her futon and closed her eyes. The backs of her eyelids felt faintly hot. She had cried so much it was as if her tears had dried up completely. Even so, the ache deep in her chest wouldn't go away.
Takeru-kun's voice, which she had heard in the gym storage room on Friday, still lingered in her ears. The words "I've been watching you for a long time," and the reality that followed: "But there's Akane, so..." Hope and despair kept stabbing at her heart like two needles.
*(I don't want to go to school.)*
It was an honest feeling. If she went to the classroom, Takeru-kun and Akane-chan would be there. She'd had enough of feeling her chest torn apart every time she saw them.
She buried her face in her pillow and let out a small breath.
She had spent both Saturday and Sunday like this. She hadn't been able to reply to Haruto-kun's message saying "There's something I want to talk about," or to Yukito-kun's words: "Please tell me why you're crying." Clutching her phone, she had simply curled up on her bed, staring at the ceiling.
The only thing spinning around and around in her head was Takeru-kun.
*(I know I can't keep going on like this.)*
The clock's hands were about to reach eight. Less than thirty minutes until school started.
And yet, Roboko couldn't move. She had no energy left to change into her uniform, no energy to put her textbooks into her bag. She hadn't eaten properly yesterday or the day before, so she should have been hungry — but she didn't even feel the hunger.
*Ding-dong.*
Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
Roboko's shoulders jolted.
*(This early in the morning... who is it?)*
Could it be Haruto-kun? Or Yukito-kun? Her heart began to pound like a frantic alarm. She stiffened under the futon and held her breath.
*Ding-dong. Ding-dong.*
The bell again. Twice in quick succession this time.
As if someone was in a hurry.
Timidly, Roboko peeked out from the futon. She was still in her sleepwear, her hair was a mess, and her face surely looked terrible. She was in no state to be seen by anyone.
But pretending not to be home felt frightening, too.
Slowly, she got up and made her way to the front door, hand against the wall. Her legs were heavy. It felt like dragging lumps of lead. She peered through the door's peephole —
Standing there was Shiina Akane.
Akane-chan, always so cheerful, the center of the class. But the face she wore now looked like a completely different person.
Her ponytail was slightly disheveled, and her large eyes wavered with unease. Her lips were trembling, as if she was about to burst into tears at any moment.
*(Why is Akane-chan... here?)*
Her hand trembled as she unlocked the door.
With a *click*, she slowly opened it.
"...Roboko."
Akane-chan's voice was hoarse.
The moment she saw Roboko's appearance, tears welled up rapidly in her eyes.
"Good morning, Akane-chan..."
She tried to ask why she was here, but her voice wouldn't come out.
"I'm sorry, for coming so suddenly. But I just... I really wanted to talk to you."
Akane-chan looked down and tightly gripped the hem of her own skirt. Her hands were trembling faintly.
Roboko couldn't say anything. She simply invited her into the room.
The two of them sat facing each other in the middle of the small apartment room. The old apartment in Kageyama Heights had its window facing east, as if to block out the morning light. The faint scent of the sea drifted into the dim room.
"Takeru... was acting strange all weekend."
Akane-chan spoke in a voice that seemed wrung out of her.
"He was completely distracted the whole time. Even when I talked to him, he only gave half-hearted replies. And then... and then, he kept worrying about you, Roboko. 'Is Roboko okay?' 'She was scared, after all...' He kept murmuring it, over and over..."
Her voice trembled, and a single tear fell onto the tatami mat.
"Takeru won't tell me anything. Even though we're childhood friends, I realized I hadn't been told anything at all... and that thought terrified me. So... please tell me what happened between you two in the gym storage room on Friday."
Akane-chan raised her face.
Her large eyes, blurred with tears, stared straight at Roboko. In those eyes, anxiety, jealousy, and more than anything — the loneliness of being the only one left out — were vividly clear.
*(Akane-chan was hurting this much...)*
A sharp pain struck Roboko's chest.
Akane-chan, always at the center of the class, always sparkling. The girl who was naturally at Takeru-kun's side, whom everyone said was "perfect for him" — she was making such a pained expression now.
Maybe, until now, Roboko had arbitrarily decided that she alone was the side character, and that Akane-chan was the protagonist with no worries at all.
But that was wrong.
She, too, had been suffering because of her own feelings.
Roboko clenched her hands tightly.
Her fingertips were cold as ice.
Her heart pounded in waves. The back of her throat was parched, and the words wouldn't come out properly. But — she would stop hiding now. She would stop shutting herself inside the shell of a side character to protect herself.
Because Akane-chan was trying so earnestly to face her.
If that was the case, then she would, too —
"I..."
Her voice trembled.
On her lap, her hands shook faintly.
"I... I'm in love with Takeru-kun."
She said it.
In front of Akane-chan, out loud, she had finally said it.
It felt as if the chains that had bound her had snapped with a *twang*.
"On the day of our middle school graduation ceremony... Takeru-kun was the only one who found me when I was crying. Ever since then... all this time. I've only ever watched Takeru-kun."
The words came spilling out. She couldn't stop them.
"From the corner of the classroom... his bedhead, the troubled face he made when he forgot his notebook, the times he got scolded by the teacher for doodling in his textbook... I was always watching. Every time I saw him talking happily with you, Akane-chan, my chest ached. But I kept telling myself... I'm a side character, so that's fine. That's how it should be."
Tears spilled over.
Crying in front of Akane-chan — the one person she should never show this to.
"On Friday, I got locked in the gym storage room... and Takeru-kun came for me. In the darkness, just the two of us... he told me, 'I've been watching you for a long time.' And I... I was so, so happy. But then, after that, he said... 'But there's Akane, so...'"
Roboko choked on her words and looked down.
"So... I thought, in the end, I'm still just a side character. I can never compete with you, Akane-chan... That's what I thought."
Silence fell over the room.
From far away, the cry of seagulls could be heard. From the sea beyond the hill, the salty breeze swayed the curtains.
Akane-chan said nothing for a while, just gazing steadily at Roboko.
But eventually, tears spilled from her eyes, too.
"...That's not fair, Roboko."
It was a small voice.
"It's not fair. Being able to say you love someone so straightforwardly like that."
Akane-chan sank down to the floor as if collapsing. Her skirt spread out over the tatami.
"You know... I don't know. My own feelings."
She hugged her knees and looked down.
"Ever since we were little, I've always been with Takeru. Everyone around us kept saying, 'You two are perfect together,' 'Are you going out?' That became normal, that became the default... so I don't even know anymore if that's what 'love' is."
Tears streamed down her cheeks.
"But... when I heard your story, Roboko... when I heard what you two talked about in the gym storage room, I was so scared. Scared that my place might be taken away. No, that's not it... it's that you love Takeru so earnestly, so straightforwardly... and it made me realize how shallow I've been."
She raised her face. With a face messy from tears, she still looked straight at Roboko.
"Maybe... I've only ever looked at Takeru through the lens of what other people think. Because everyone said we were 'perfect together,' I just kept telling myself that was the right answer. Whether I actually like Takeru... as a boy, as a person... I never even properly thought about it."
Akane-chan clenched her fist tightly.
"But you're different, Roboko. Ever since middle school, even without telling anyone, you've been thinking of Takeru all alone. Without anyone evaluating you, without anyone saying you're 'perfect together'... even so, you loved him, didn't you?"
Roboko gave a small nod.
"Yeah... because that alone... was my treasure."
"...Thank you, Roboko. For telling me."
Akane-chan wiped her tears and smiled just a little. It wasn't the usual bright smile of the class's popular girl. It was smaller, but... an incredibly warm smile.
"I'm going to face my own feelings properly, too. How I really feel about Takeru. And... I'll properly ask Takeru himself what he wants. So..."
She stood up and took Roboko's hand.
Akane-chan's hand was surprisingly warm.
"Roboko... don't hide anymore. Don't call yourself a side character anymore. Because you're someone amazing, who can love someone this much. And besides... Takeru is too kind, and he's really bad at putting his feelings into words. If you don't tell him how you feel properly, Roboko... I'm sure Takeru will never figure it out."
She smiled mischievously, but with a hint of loneliness.
"...It's a bit strange for me to say this, I know. But as his childhood friend, I can guarantee it."
And then, Akane-chan took a handkerchief from her bag and held it out to Roboko.
"After school... try going to the rooftop. I'm sure something good will happen."
"...Huh?"
"See you, Roboko. I'm going to school ahead of you. Make sure you come, okay?"
With just those words, Akane-chan opened the door without looking back and ran down the stairs.
Clutching the handkerchief, Roboko stood frozen in place for a while.
*(Akane-chan...)*
A warm feeling she had never felt before spread through her chest.
The girl who should have been her rival in love — now looked different to her. Struggling with her own feelings, shedding tears, and yet still trying to face them head-on — that figure of hers was exactly the "protagonist" Roboko had always admired.
But she wasn't an enemy.
For the first time, Roboko felt as though she had truly connected hearts with someone who wasn't a side character.
She looked out the window. From the old apartment in Kageyama Heights, she could see the sea of Minakaze beyond the hill, sparkling in the morning sun. The white shape of the old lighthouse was faintly visible in the distance, too.
Roboko gripped the handkerchief Akane-chan had given her tightly.
*(I have to go.)*
*(To school. And... to the rooftop.)*
She didn't know what was waiting for her.
But she wouldn't run away anymore.
After all, she had the courage Akane-chan had given her.
Roboko hurriedly began to change into her uniform. The face reflected in the mirror was still a little puffy, but strangely, she looked just a bit more composed than she had yesterday.
The sound of her footsteps running down the stairs of Kageyama Heights echoed lightly, as if marking a new first step.
For the first time in a long while, Roboko walked forward, facing ahead, up the hill road leading to the school.
The sea breeze gently stroked her cheeks, still marked with the traces of tears.
*(Wait for me, Takeru-kun.)*
She murmured that in her heart —
And Roboko took the first step of her new self, having shed the shell of a side character.
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