Confessions From the Shadows: My Eyes Were Always on You, Sakura Miko
Hololive Production. A place where countless talents sparkle and shine. Everyone's eyes are glued to the stars laughing on stage. But not mine. My eyes were always on that girl in the corner of the hallway, practicing her dance moves desperately, messing up again and again.
My name is Shirase Kotone. As a plain, ordinary staff member, I have always watched her from the shadows. Miko-senpai—Sakura Miko. A person who stumbles so many times, looks like she's about to burst into tears, yet still ma
Confessions From the Shadows: My Eyes Were Always on You, Sakura Miko - One more time! —At Stella Hall late at night
A few days after the scandal. The office on the sixth floor of Cover Tower greeted the morning just like any other.
At her desk three rows from the window, Shirasawa Kotone faced her computer. Her black bob cut, trimmed neatly at the shoulders, reflected the monitor's light. Her large, cat-like brown eyes stared intently at the documents on the screen.
(*Miko-senpai's streaming plan...*)
Her mind had been filled with nothing else since last night.
Miko's small mistake, spread far and wide by the scandal. That maliciously edited clip still tightened around Kotone's chest. But—she was no longer the person who just stood by and watched.
She took a deep breath, then opened a certain proposal.
**"Miko-senpai's All Failures Special"**
Turn the scandal on its head. By deliberately showing her failures, make her even more endearing. It was a plan Kotone had come up with after staying up all night.
(*How... would this work?*)
She had her doubts. But Miko-senpai's charm wasn't about being perfect. It was the way she fell down over and over, and still got back up. Kotone wanted to make a plan that properly showcased that charm.
Early afternoon.
Kotone took the proposal and headed for the streaming studio on the third floor. In the pocket of her deep green staff jumper were her usual small memo pad and employee ID. Inside the elevator, her heartbeat quickened just a little.
(*Can I talk to her properly?*)
The last time she'd spoken with Miko-senpai one-on-one was in front of the basement restroom. Since that night—something had changed inside Kotone. But she still couldn't put it into words.
Streaming Booth 3-C.
When she knocked on the door, an energetic voice answered from inside.
" Yes! Come in!"
Kotone let out a small breath, then opened the door.
Inside, Miko was adjusting the streaming equipment. Her waist-length, cherry-blossom-pink hair swayed softly with every movement. Her large, bright pink eyes sparkled as they found Kotone.
" Ah, Kotone-san! Perfect timing, nye!"
" Perfect... timing?"
Her voice shrank. An old habit. Whenever she tried to talk about something important, her voice inevitably trembled.
Miko nodded with a smile. But Kotone didn't miss the way her fingertips were gripping the equipment cable tightly.
(*She's nervous.*)
Of course she was. This was her first regular stream since the scandal.
" Um, Miko-senpai... about today's streaming plan."
Kotone held out the proposal. Her hand trembled slightly.
" Huh? You came up with this for me, Kotone-san?"
Miko took the proposal. Her eyes widened when she saw the title.
"All Failures Special..."
Her voice grew quiet.
Kotone's chest tightened.
(*She might hate this...*)
It was only natural. This was a plan that deliberately showcased her own failures. For Miko, who had been hurt, it might be a painful suggestion.
" Um... you don't have to force—"
" This looks fun!"
Miko shouted, cutting off Kotone's words.
Kotone blinked in surprise.
Miko hugged the proposal tightly and beamed.
" Will everyone laugh at Miko's failures? If so, that might actually be fun! And besides..."
Miko lowered her voice just a little and grinned mischievously.
" When you're with me, Kotone-san, I just feel safe, you know?"
—*Thump.*
Something leaped deep inside Kotone's chest.
(*Ah, um... if you say something like that...*)
Her face grew hot. Desperately trying to keep her expression from crumbling, Kotone looked down.
" U-um... I'll get ready, then."
" Nya-hello! Thanks for watching again today, nye!"
The stream began.
Kotone watched from the corner of the booth, checking the monitor. The comments flowed by. At first, they were the usual—but the moment the plan's content was revealed, the atmosphere shifted.
*'Huh? She's showing her failures?'*
*'Actually, that sounds fun lol'*
*'A plan that's so Miko-chan-like'*
The comment section began overflowing with smiling comments.
Miko deliberately messed up. She pressed the wrong game buttons, tripped over her words by talking too fast. But that, in turn, was endearing. The comment section buzzed with "cute" and "classic Miko lol."
(*Thank goodness...*)
Kotone quietly breathed a sigh of relief.
The moment the stream ended—
" Kotone-san! Thank you, nye!"
Miko spun around with force and squeezed both of Kotone's hands tightly.
At the sudden gesture, Kotone's thoughts stopped.
(*Her hands... they're so warm.*)
Miko's slender, small hands enveloped Kotone's. Her fingertips were always covered in band-aids, yet her grip was incredibly strong.
" It's all thanks to you, Kotone-san! Everyone laughed, and Miko had so much fun!"
Miko's smile was right there.
From her cherry-blossom hair drifted the faint scent of shampoo. Her large, bright pink eyes gazed straight at Kotone.
Deep in her chest, there was heat.
(*Stop... don't look at me with that face.*)
Her heart pounded furiously. Feeling her face about to turn bright red, Kotone desperately looked down.
" N-no... it's part of my job. I only did what was expected."
Her voice was shaking.
She didn't want to let go of her hands. But she had to. Because TRG existed. The boundary between talent and staff must not be crossed.
Kotone gently pulled her hand back.
Miko looked puzzled for a moment, then gave an embarrassed laugh.
" Ah, sorry! I just got so happy."
" ...It's fine."
(*"Just," she says.*)
Such an innocent word, and yet it tightened around Kotone's chest all the more.
Miko was simply, purely happy. There was no deeper meaning to it. But—for Kotone, it was an event that made her heart feel like it might burst.
(*I have to be conscious of the TRG wall.*)
She desperately suppressed her rising feelings of love.
That was the most she could do right now.
That night. It was past ten in the evening.
Kotone was about to finish her final rounds in the sixth-floor office. She had compiled a report on the response to today's stream and confirmed the preparations for tomorrow. The usual overtime.
An empty office. The white light of the fluorescent lamps quietly illuminated the desks.
Kotone stood up and headed for her final patrol. She walked down the hallway, hands in the pockets of her deep green staff jumper.
(*No one should be here anymore at this hour.*)
She made the rounds of each floor. Nothing out of the ordinary.
When she reached the fifth floor—
Her feet stopped, unbidden.
(*...A sound?*)
From Stella Hall, the lesson studio that should have had its lights off, came faint music. And with it—a rhythm of feet hitting the floor.
Kotone's observational skills kicked in, sharper than usual.
(*At this hour? Is someone there?*)
She muffled her footsteps and approached the small window.
From the corner of the hallway, the inside of the studio was faintly visible. It was the same small window through which she had first witnessed Miko's solo practice, half a year after joining the company.
The moment she peered inside—her breath stopped.
(*Miko... senpai.*)
There she was. Sakura Miko.
Alone, in the empty studio.
In front of the mirror, drenched in sweat, she was practicing her dance. Her waist-length, cherry-blossom-pink hair was now tied up with a rubber band. Her bangs clung to her face, and drops of sweat dripped down.
The music played.
She traced the choreography. But—
" Augh!"
In the middle of a turn, Miko's feet tangled and she fell to the floor.
The dull sound of her knee hitting the floor seemed to reach Kotone even through the small window.
(*Stop... don't push yourself so hard.*)
Kotone's fingers gripped the window frame tightly.
But Miko stood up.
Her knee was red. It was scraped, and a little blood was seeping through. And yet—
" ...One more time!"
A voice encouraging herself, holding back tears.
Miko brushed the dust off her clothes and took her position once more.
The music started.
She fell again.
" Ow..."
But she stood up again.
" Why can't I do this... One more time!"
Her voice trembled. Desperately holding back the urge to cry, Miko continued practicing.
Kotone's chest was wrenched tight.
(*This scene... I remember it.*)
That night, half a year after joining. Through the same small window, she had seen Miko practicing alone, just like this.
That day had been the same as today. Even though no one was watching, she fell over and over, was on the verge of tears over and over, and yet she absolutely refused to give up.
That figure—had stolen Kotone's heart.
The bright, clumsy character she showed on stream.
But behind it was this much effort. Practice so desperate she couldn't show anyone.
(*I... was always just watching from the shadows.*)
A feeling of disgust welled up, slowly.
Disgust at herself.
She had just watched, and done nothing. She hadn't even been able to reach out a hand. TRG, her position as staff—all of it had been excuses to protect her cowardly self.
Miko fell again.
" ...Uugh."
This time, she couldn't get up. She hugged her knees, trembling faintly.
In that moment—something inside Kotone broke.
(*I can't just keep watching anymore.*)
No. She couldn't.
She had sworn it that night, in front of the basement restroom. That she would protect her. That she would support her.
And yet, here she was, still hiding and just watching—!
On impulse, Kotone threw open the door to Stella Hall.
*Bang!*
At the loud noise, Miko's shoulders flinched.
" Huh... Kotone-san?"
Miko turned around. Her face was a mess of tears and sweat.
But none of that mattered.
Kotone shouted, as if wringing the words from the depths of her throat.
" Miko-senpai! I'll help you!"
It was a voice so loud it surprised even herself.
For her, who was usually told she was a wallflower with a quiet voice—to shout so desperately.
Miko's eyes went wide.
" At this hour... why..."
A voice of bewilderment.
But Kotone looked straight at Miko. Her brown eyes shone with a seriousness they had never held before.
" I... was watching. All this time."
" ...Huh?"
"That night, half a year after I joined, I watched your practice through this small window too. Seeing you fall over and over, and still never give up... it moved me."
Her voice trembled. But she couldn't stop anymore.
"I was always just watching from the shadows. But... I'm sick of it. I want to support you, senpai. I want to be of help to you."
Miko was silent, looking into Kotone's eyes.
And then—
*Plip.*
A tear spilled from Miko's eye.
" ...You were watching me like that."
Her voice was choked.
" Miko, you know... couldn't tell anyone. The dance for the new song I'm debuting at my birthday event is so hard... Practicing alone was so scary."
Her shoulders trembled.
" But I can't cause trouble for anyone. Not the staff, not the other talents... I didn't want anyone to know that Miko couldn't do it."
Her voice grew smaller and smaller.
" Pathetic, right? For an idol..."
" That's not true at all."
Kotone said it decisively.
Gazing at Miko's tear-streaked face, she took a step forward.
"You work harder than anyone. You never give up, more than anyone. I... know that side of you."
Kotone's hand gently touched Miko's.
" If you'll have me... please let me help."
Miko looked startled for a moment, then nodded with a face that was somewhere between tears and a smile.
" ...Okay. Thank you, Kotone-san."
In Stella Hall late at night, their secret, two-person training began.
" When you turn, don't spin on the toes of your right foot. Use the base of your left big toe as the axis."
Drawing on her experience in her school's dance club, Kotone instructed Miko on the turn she struggled with.
" Huh? My left foot?"
"Yes. Put seventy percent of your weight on the left. Your right foot just needs to balance you."
" I'll try it!"
Miko attempted the turn as instructed. But—
" Augh!"
She nearly fell again.
Instantly, Kotone reached out her hand.
" Are you okay?"
She supported Miko's shoulder. Their bodies drew close together.
(*S-so
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