I'm Airi Kotori, a high school sophomore. People say I'm the cutest in class, but that's the last thing on my mind right now. Today, my childhood friend Haruto confessed to the most popular girl at school, Toto Kozakura, and got shot down in spectacular fashion.
Haruto's been my hero since we were kids. He protected me from bullies, made me laugh with his silly jokes. But his eyes were always fixed somewhere far away. I knew he was looking at Kozakura-san since middle school.
I've been by Haru
Until the Snow Melts, I'll Think of You - No one knows where my gaze falls.
The October morning carried a slight chill.
The air was cold, and when it touched my skin, it reminded me of summer's end. Takanashi Airi pedaled her bicycle, exhaling a soft white breath. On her way to school, she passed through Namiki Street Shopping District. Five shops with their shutters closed. In front of one of them — the Western confectionery "Sucre" — the sweet scent of butter drifted through the air even this early in the morning.
I, Takanashi Airi, breathed that fragrance deep into my chest.
(*Someday, I'll do that too.*)
Just thinking that gave me a little bit of courage.
Yesterday's events still lingered in my heart.
Haruto had confessed to Kosuzume Toto and been rejected. And yet, Haruto had decided he would confess again at the cultural festival. Seeing that smile, I had ended up saying, "I'll help." Pushing down ten years' worth of "love" once more.
My feet pressing the bicycle pedals felt just a little heavy.
When I climbed the slope of Hibarigaoka Hill, the school building came into view. Thirty-eight-year-old reinforced concrete. Cracks here and there on the walls, but somehow, that made it feel oddly comforting — my high school.
Today was Saturday. Classmates were gathering to prepare for the cultural festival.
Passing through the school gate, I could already see a few people. From the direction of the gymnasium, the clattering sound of folding chairs being carried echoed.
"Morning."
I murmured quietly and headed for the classroom.
Third floor, Class 2-3.
When I opened the door, the usual classroom showed an unfamiliar face. Desks were pushed to the back, and drawing paper and origami were pasted haphazardly on the walls. With preparations for the Hibari Festival — the biggest school festival in Minase City — starting tomorrow, everyone was restless.
"[excited] Ah, Airi~! Morning!"
A soft, sweet perfume scent drifted closer.
Kaede. Her long brown hair perfectly curled, her flower-motif hair ornament sparkling today as always. Her wide double-lidded eyes were smiling, but I already knew there were times when her eyes weren't smiling at all.
"[gentle] Morning, Kaede."
When I smiled, Kaede wrapped her arm around mine.
"[excited] Guess what? A transfer student's coming today!"
"Huh?"
"I saw him in front of the staff room this morning. He's super tall, his hair's kind of bluish — but he's totally expressionless. Gives off this unapproachable vibe~"
As Kaede said this, she watched my reaction with amusement.
(*A transfer student...*)
I absently placed my bag at my desk. Near the back by the window. Haruto's seat was two rows ahead, in the center. He hadn't arrived yet this morning.
"[excited] Oh, there he is!"
Kaede lowered her voice and pointed toward the hallway.
The homeroom chime rang.
Our homeroom teacher, Sawatari-sensei, entered the classroom. A female teacher in her forties, always wearing a gentle smile, but with very sharp eyes.
"[gentle] Good morning. We have cultural festival preparations today, but first, I'd like to introduce a new classmate."
The classroom buzzed.
"[surprised] Seriously, a transfer student?"
Before I knew it, Haruto was at his desk. His close-cropped black hair sparkled slightly in the morning light. Even though Kosuzume-san had rejected him just yesterday, he was already wearing his usual cheerful face.
(*Haruto...*)
As I gazed at Haruto, Sawatari-sensei called toward the door.
"Please come in."
The door slowly opened.
The atmosphere in the classroom seemed to shift, just a little.
The person who entered was an incredibly tall boy. At least 180 centimeters. Much taller than me. His slightly bluish-black hair was long and unkempt, covering his right eye. The visible left eye was narrow and a cold gray.
—Unapproachable.
Just as Kaede had said.
He stood at the front of the classroom and looked around at his classmates with a steady gaze. That gaze slowly traced each person's face, as if searching for something. Our eyes met. Just for a moment.
(*...*)
He looked away immediately.
"[cold] Ryuuji. Nice to meet you."
His voice was low, and that was all he said.
The classroom fell silent for a moment.
Normally, this would be when questions like "Where are you from?" or "What are your hobbies?" would rain down. But the classmates were somehow overwhelmed, and no one opened their mouth.
"...Um, Ryuuji-kun moved here because of his father's job transfer. There are probably many things he's not familiar with, so everyone, please help him out."
Sawatari-sensei offered a follow-up.
"[cold] I'm not having any trouble, so that won't be necessary."
Ryuuji said this bluntly and walked to the last row by the window that the teacher indicated — the seat two behind mine.
He pulled out the chair without a word and sat down.
Immediately, he turned his gaze out the window and didn't move after that.
(*Wow.*)
I murmured in my heart.
Homeroom ended, and everyone dispersed to prepare for the cultural festival.
I placed a paper bag of cookies I had baked this morning on my desk. The bag's opening was slightly frayed. It was because I had gripped it too tightly yesterday when I saw Haruto get rejected by Kosuzume-san.
(*I baked extra today, anyway.*)
I stood up and started handing out cookies to everyone in the classroom.
"[gentle] If you'd like, please have some."
"[excited] Wow, Airi's cookies!"
"Thanks!"
I brought some to Haruto too.
"Haruto, here."
"[happy] Oh, seriously? Thanks, Airi!"
Haruto accepted the cookie with his usual smile, showing his slightly crooked canine tooth. His droopy black eyes narrowed as he looked at me. Just that made the center of my chest feel warmly, gently full.
(*As I thought, I want Haruto to keep smiling.*)
Thinking that, I glanced toward the very back of the classroom.
Ryuuji was alone, looking out the window.
(*...*)
I hesitated for just a moment.
An unapproachable atmosphere. But he had become a classmate, so I wanted to get along.
"[gentle] Um... Ryuuji-kun, would you like a cookie?"
I gathered my courage and held out the bag of cookies.
Ryuuji slowly turned his face toward me. His gray left eye stared intently at my hand.
"[cold] ...Don't need it."
"Huh..."
"I hate sweet things."
Ryuuji said that and turned his gaze back out the window.
But — I didn't miss it.
When Ryuuji looked at the cookie bag. His hand had trembled, just barely. His long, slender fingers clenched tightly on the desk. Around his left wrist, an old friendship bracelet was tied.
(*What is that?*)
It didn't look like simple "dislike."
Unable to say anything more, I pulled back the cookie bag.
Lunch break.
Here and there in the classroom, groups were scattered about, eating lunch while working on cultural festival preparations. At my own desk, I was spacing out while biting into the rice ball I had brought.
(*Ryuuji-kun... is something going on with him?*)
As I was thinking that, I suddenly heard Kaede's voice.
"[excited] Hey, hey, Akiyama-kun!"
Kaede moved to the seat next to Haruto, bringing her own lunch box. Her bright brown long hair swayed smoothly over her shoulders.
"[gentle] The gymnasium stage is free tomorrow afternoon!"
"Seriously!? Thanks, Kaede!"
"Don't mention it~. I'll support Akiyama-kun's love with everything I've got!"
As Kaede said this, she casually placed her hand on Haruto's arm. Haruto, seeming not to notice anything, laughed happily.
(*...*)
Deep in my chest, something tightened sharply.
(*Kaede likes Haruto.*)
I knew it. Kaede thought that now, with Haruto rejected by Kosuzume-san, was her chance. But since Haruto still had lingering feelings for Kosuzume-san, Kaede was getting close to him under the pretext of "helping with his confession."
And she was using me to do it.
"[excited] Airi, you'll help too, right?"
Kaede turned around and smiled at me. A face as perfect as a doll's. But those eyes weren't smiling. I remembered the voice I had heard in the hallway after school yesterday.
*'She's just kind of easy to use, you know?'*
That had been about me.
And yet—.
"[gentle] ...Yeah."
I nodded.
Because Haruto looked so happy. Just for that, I could suppress my own feelings.
After school.
Kaede gathered Haruto and me and began discussing the specifics of the public confession plan on the gymnasium stage.
"[excited] Okay? Akiyama-kun will stand on the stage and shout, 'Kosuzume-san, I love you!' And behind the stage, we'll put up a giant heart decoration!"
"Whoa! Awesome!"
"[excited] Can I leave that decoration to you, Airi?"
Kaede gripped both my hands tightly and looked up at me with upturned eyes.
"You've got great taste, Airi, and you're good at detailed work, right? I'm sure you can make something super cute!"
"Uh, but..."
"Is that a no?"
Kaede's eyes seemed to turn cold for just a moment.
"...Okay. I'll do it."
I nodded.
"[excited] That's our Airi! Love you!"
Kaede hugged me. The soft scent of perfume.
As for Haruto, his head already seemed full of confession simulations. "What should I say first?" "Will Kosuzume-san be surprised?" he muttered to himself.
(*Haruto doesn't notice my feelings.*)
Whether that made me happy or sad, I wasn't sure.
Kaede whispered something in Haruto's ear, and the two of them laughed. I quietly left the spot.
I stepped out into the hallway.
The setting sun dyed the corridor orange.
Just then, I heard voices from around the corner.
"[sarcastic] Hey, listen to this. Airi, right? She gave Akiyama-kun cookies again today?"
It was Kaede's voice. Probably talking with her hangers-on.
"[laughing] It's so obvious, that one-sided crush of hers."
"And yet she won't confess herself, and she can't say anything even when I get all friendly with Akiyama-kun. She's seriously such a pushover."
"[laughing] And on top of that, she's even doing our decorations! Hilarious~"
Laughter echoed through the hallway.
I stood frozen in place.
As if the soles of my feet had stuck to the floor, I couldn't move.
(*I knew it. I knew it, but—*)
The center of my chest tightened painfully.
Making no sound, I left that place.
When I returned to the classroom, no one was there anymore.
Everyone must have gone home. The setting sun streaming through the window dyed the desks and chairs orange.
I sat at my desk and opened my sketchbook.
(*The heart decoration...*)
A decoration for Haruto to confess to Kosuzume-san. I was going to make it.
I ran my pencil across the page.
A big heart. But a plain heart would be boring. I'd adorn it with flowers, so that when you looked closely, it formed a heart—
(*What am I doing?*)
Making a decoration for the person I love to confess to someone else.
I put down the pencil and slumped over my desk.
"[sad] ...Like an idiot."
Since no one was there, I said it out loud.
Just then—.
*Clatter.*
The classroom door opened.
I hurriedly raised my face.
Ryuuji was standing in the doorway.
"[surprised] Huh... Ryuuji-kun?"
"[cold] Forgot something."
Ryuuji glanced at me and headed for his desk. From inside it, he pulled out a sketchbook. Different from the one I had — a battered, worn-out sketchbook.
—But Ryuuji didn't leave the classroom right away.
Instead, he looked down intently at my hands.
"[cold] ...What's that?"
"Huh, oh, this is... um, a design for a decoration."
"A heart, huh."
"Y-yeah..."
Ryuuji was silent for a while, looking at the sketch. Then, he looked at my face.
His gray left eye stared straight at me.
"[cold] You like Haruto, don't you."
I thought my heart had stopped.
"[scared] Wh-what are you—"
"Way too obvious. Are you even trying to hide it?"
Ryuuji's voice was cold. But his eyes weren't cold.
A look as if searching for something, and yet, as if worried about something — that kind of look.
"Because you're always watching Haruto. The cookies too, they're so you can feed them to Haruto. And that thing you're drawing now. It's a decoration for Haruto to confess to someone, right
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