I'm Airi Kotori, a high school sophomore. People say I'm the cutest in class, but that's the last thing on my mind right now. Today, my childhood friend Haruto confessed to the most popular girl at school, Toto Kozakura, and got shot down in spectacular fashion.
Haruto's been my hero since we were kids. He protected me from bullies, made me laugh with his silly jokes. But his eyes were always fixed somewhere far away. I knew he was looking at Kozakura-san since middle school.
I've been by Haru
Until the Snow Melts, I'll Think of You - Who did you bake the cookies for?
Saturday, the first day of the cultural festival. The afternoon sunlight slanted through the classroom windows.
Takanashi Airi gently placed the very last cookie onto the counter display.
Cinnamon cookies. Lemon cookies. Both had been baked last night, with barely any sleep. While waiting for the oven to preheat, she'd dozed off, and before she knew it, morning had come. Her fingertips still carried the faintest trace of butter.
"[excited]Welcome!"
Kaede's bright voice rang throughout the classroom.
She was perfect today, as always. Her softly curled, long brown hair. The flower-motif hair ornament sparkled, reflecting the fluorescent lights. She could tell the boys in their class were stealing glances at Kaede.
But Kaede's gaze was fixed on only one person.
"[gentle]Akiyama-kun, let's move these cookies more to the front. Airi went to all the trouble of making them, after all."
Kaede stood right next to Haruto. Close enough that their shoulders were almost touching. Every time she moved, the sweet scent of her perfume drifted softly through the air.
Haruto scratched his crew-cut head,
"[happy]Oh, thanks! Kaede!"
and grinned.
I watched that scene from behind the register.
Kaede casually rested her hand on Haruto's arm. *The plan for the confession is perfect* — I could hear her whispering voice near his ear.
*(It's fine. I decided I'd help.)*
I forced a smile onto my lips. A fake smile. One I'd practiced for years — a perfect smile no one could see through.
Deep in my chest, a dull ache throbbed.
This was a familiar pain. Every time Haruto looked at someone else, it was always like this. But today, for some reason, it hurt more than usual.
The words Ryuuji had said to me yesterday flickered at the edge of my mind.
— *You like Haruto, don't you.*
— *A one-sided crush like that just wears you out.*
*(Shut up. It's none of your business.)*
I muttered it in my heart. But I couldn't deny it.
That was when it happened.
"[gentle]Oh my, is this the cookie café?"
Standing at the classroom entrance was Kosuzume Toto.
Her waist-length, straight black hair swayed lustrously under the fluorescent lights. Sharp, intelligent, narrow eyes. Behind her were two girls who seemed to be friends from the student council.
The atmosphere in the classroom changed in an instant.
"[surprised]K-Kosuzume-san...!"
Haruto's face turned bright red before my eyes. He nearly dropped the tray he was holding, then hurriedly steadied it.
Kaede's smile froze for just a moment. Her large, double-lidded eyes narrowed.
"[sarcastic]Oh my, isn't it unusual for Kosuzume-san to come here?"
Kaede's voice was sweet, but her eyes weren't smiling at all.
Kosuzume-san brushed off Kaede's gaze with a cool expression and walked straight toward the counter.
"[gentle]Did you make all of these yourself?"
Kosuzume-san stared intently at the cookies lined up in the display case.
"Ah, yes. Cinnamon and lemon..."
"May I try one?"
I hurriedly placed two cookies onto a small paper plate.
Kosuzume-san picked up a cinnamon cookie with her slender fingers. Her fingertips were astonishingly white and beautiful.
One bite.
*Crunch.*
"[surprised]...It's delicious."
Kosuzume-san's eyes widened.
Her cool impression gave way to such an innocent, childlike expression that I was the one caught off guard.
"Who made these? They're incredibly good."
Kosuzume-san's voice was honest — it wasn't flattery at all.
"I-I did..."
"Takanashi-san, right? You could become a patissier."
With that single remark, the classroom buzzed.
Cookies praised by the school's number one madonna. Hearing that, students from other classes began gathering in the classroom one after another.
"[excited]Wait, Kosuzume-san is here!?"
"I heard the cookies are crazy good."
In no time at all, a line formed in front of the counter.
Haruto was completely frozen with nerves. Kaede, wary of Kosuzume-san, kept her smile but her eyes alone narrowed like a cat stalking its prey.
"Thank you very much! Both the cinnamon and lemon are recommended!"
I desperately kept serving customers. Ringing up the register, putting cookies into bags, handing back change.
Through it all, Kosuzume-san stood at the edge of the counter, watching me intently.
*(What is this? Her gaze is piercing.)*
That's what I was thinking, when—
"[whispers]Takanashi-san, may I have a moment?"
Before I knew it, Kosuzume-san had come right up beside the counter.
"Eh, yes."
Kosuzume-san gently took hold of my wrist and pulled me to the edge of the counter — to the corner of the classroom.
A spot just slightly removed from the flow of people.
Her narrow eyes looked straight down at me.
"[whispers]Who did you really bake them for?"
Kosuzume-san smiled, just a little.
But her eyes were serious, with an intensity that absolutely wouldn't allow any evasion.
"[surprised]Huh... W-what do you mean?"
"You don't have to hide it. I can tell."
Kosuzume-san's voice was incredibly gentle.
As if she'd known me for a long, long time.
"You put your feelings into these cookies. They're very warm, and just a little bitter. They taste like unrequited love."
My heart felt like it was about to leap out of my mouth.
*(Why. How does this person—)*
I knew I had to say something. But my mouth wouldn't move properly. The words caught in the back of my throat.
"It's alright. I won't tell anyone."
Saying that, Kosuzume-san gently released my hand.
"They were delicious. I'll come back to eat them again."
She returned to her friends. Watching her back, I couldn't move for a while.
*(She saw right through me.)*
*(First Ryuuji, now Kosuzume-san — why are my feelings so obvious to everyone?)*
Deep in my chest, a tight, squeezing ache.
I hadn't told anyone. I'd kept it hidden.
And yet, my feelings were so easily seen through.
Were my ten years really that shallow?
— *Who did you really bake them for?*
Kosuzume-san's words kept spinning around and around in my head.
Four in the afternoon.
The cookie café finished its first day of business amid great success.
All two hundred cookies we'd prepared had sold out. As I cleaned up the empty trays, I felt dazed.
"[excited]Wow, that was a huge success! It's all thanks to you, Airi!"
Kaede slapped me on the back with a *thwack thwack*.
"[gentle]Kaede, you worked hard on the decorations too, didn't you?"
"Ehehe, you think so? But hey, why do you think Kosuzume-san said something like that? What were you talking about with her?"
Kaede's eyes glinted sharply.
"[whispers]...Nothing really. She just asked about the cookie recipe."
"Hmm."
Kaede didn't press further, but her face clearly showed she wasn't convinced.
Haruto, still seeming unable to shake off his nervousness, was stacking trays and muttering to himself.
"[serious]Kosuzume-san liked the cookies. Which means, for tomorrow's confession, maybe I can hope a little..."
"Yeah. Good luck."
I said it with my back turned to Haruto.
I didn't want him to see my face.
What kind of face was I making right now? I didn't even know myself.
Cleanup ended, and everyone left the classroom.
"[happy]Airi, good work! I'm gonna go check on the gym prep!"
"Yeah. Good work."
Haruto ran off down the hallway.
I stayed behind in the classroom, alone.
Outside the window, the sky had turned a deep crimson before I knew it. The setting sun outlined the ridgeline of the Hibarigaoka Hills in orange.
I picked up a cookie crumb left on the counter with my fingers.
*Crunch.*
*(It's good.)*
I thought so, even though I'd made it myself.
But—
*(Who did I bake it for again?)*
I didn't know anymore.
When I left the classroom, the setting sun was streaming through the hallway windows too, casting long shadows.
And within those shadows — one more.
"[cold]...Took you long enough."
Ryuuji stood leaning against the wall.
A tall frame over 180 centimeters. His slightly bluish black hair carelessly hid his right eye. Only his narrow left eye, holding a cold gray light, looked down at me.
"[surprised]Ryuuji-kun... Why are you—"
"Come with me."
Saying just that, Ryuuji started walking briskly.
"Huh, wait, where are we going!?"
No answer.
I followed after him at a quick trot.
Up the stairs. Third floor, fourth floor — and beyond that, in front of the iron door that was usually closed, Ryuuji stopped.
He took a key from his pocket.
"[surprised]That's the rooftop key... Why do you have that?"
"Borrowed it."
*Clank.*
The door opened.
Immediately, a strong wind blew in.
We stepped out onto the rooftop.
The October wind was colder than I'd expected.
The sky was beginning to shift from crimson to purple, and the distant sea sparkled, reflecting the setting sun. The mouth of the Minase River looked like a silver ribbon.
Ryuuji walked near the fence, then turned around sharply.
"[cold]Today, Kosuzume Toto said something to you, didn't she."
"[surprised]Huh... How do you know?"
"Because you've been making a weird face this whole time."
Ryuuji's gray eyes stared straight at me.
"I don't know what she said. But right now, you're seriously shaken up. I'm right, aren't I."
*(He can tell too. This person too.)*
I bit my lip.
"[cold]Give up that one-sided crush already."
The wind swayed Ryuuji's bangs.
His hidden right eye peeked out. It was the same cold gray as his left eye, after all. But deep within it — I felt like I saw just a faint trace of something like heat.
"You're just going to get hurt."
Ryuuji's voice was low, but much gentler than it had been in the classroom yesterday.
"[angry]...Why are you saying that? Whatever I do, it's none of your business."
Before I knew it, I had raised my voice.
"It's not like I'm causing you any trouble. And anyway, you just transferred here — what could you possibly understand about—"
"[cold]You've got a face that's painful to watch."
Ryuuji cut off my words.
"You're always smiling, but your eyes aren't smiling at all. You haven't noticed it yourself, have you. You're scared that your fake smile might be exposed — only when you're in front of Haruto."
*(—)*
Deep in my chest, my heart gave a huge, pounding throb.
I couldn't say anything.
I wanted to deny it. But I couldn't find the words.
Because it was exactly true.
"[cold]Your cookies are good."
Ryuuji said it, facing toward the sea.
"Yesterday, the one you were trying to get Haruto to eat. I ate one — the one the others left behind."
"[surprised]Huh..."
"It was good. Really good. But—"
Ryuuji looked at me once more.
With the setting sun behind him, I couldn't quite see his expression.
"[cold]It tasted sad. The taste of someone who bakes for someone else, and that someone doesn't notice at all, but she keeps on baking anyway."
"That's—"
"I'm telling you, you're just going to get hurt. Realize that."
I clenched my fists tightly.
The back of my eyes grew hot.
"[sad]...Whatever I do, it's none of your business."
The voice I squeezed out was trembling pathetically.
"Yeah."
Ryuuji admitted it easily.
"It's none of my business. But watching it pisses me off."
"That's..."
"Aren't you baking those cookies for someone? Then at least bake them for someone that taste will actually reach. Otherwise, the cookies are the ones I feel sorry for."
Saying just that, Ryuuji turned his back to me.
"[cold]Let's go back. You'll catch a cold."
"...I'm not done talking yet."
"I'm done."
Ryuuji walked toward the rooftop door.
"[whispers]...Thank you."
I murmured it quietly.
Ryuuji's steps paused, just slightly.
But without turning around, he went down the stairs just like that.
Left alone on the rooftop.
The wind whipped up my semi-long brown hair.
The cookie hairpin on my right ear made a small *click-clack* sound.
*(Who did I really bake them for?)*
*(You're just going to get hurt.)*
*(The cookies are the ones I feel sorry for.)*
The three phrases spun around and around in my head.
I placed my hands on the fence and gazed at the distant sea.
The cookies
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