I'm Airi Kotori, a high school sophomore. People say I'm the cutest in class, but that's the last thing on my mind right now. Today, my childhood friend Haruto confessed to the most popular girl at school, Toto Kozakura, and got shot down in spectacular fashion.
Haruto's been my hero since we were kids. He protected me from bullies, made me laugh with his silly jokes. But his eyes were always fixed somewhere far away. I knew he was looking at Kozakura-san since middle school.
I've been by Haru
Until the Snow Melts, I'll Think of You - Everything was exposed, on stage.
The air in the gymnasium was a tangled mess of heat and tension.
Second day of the culture festival, Sunday afternoon. A light drizzle in the morning had left a muggy heat trapped inside the building. Takanashi Airi stood in the darkness of the stage wing, staring at her own fingertips.
Her fingers were trembling.
(*Calm down.*)
She told herself that over and over in her mind. But the trembling wouldn't stop. The words Ryuuji had said to her last night kept spinning around and around in her head.
*—You like Haruto, don't you.*
*—Give up on that one-sided crush already.*
Those gray eyes had seen straight through to the deepest part of her heart.
From beyond the stage, she could hear the noisy buzz of voices. The entire student body was gathered. Roughly seven hundred people. And before all of them, Haruto was about to stand up.
*I like you. Please go out with me.*
To shout those words.
For the confession she had helped make happen.
"[gentle]Airi~, final check time~"
A sweet voice reached her, and Airi lifted her head.
Kaede approached, her long brown hair swaying softly. Her flower-motif hair ornament sparkled even in the dim backstage lighting. She was perfect today, as always. Her large, double-lidded eyes narrowed as they looked down at Airi.
"[gentle]The stage decorations are perfect. As expected of Airi. I'm so impressed."
Kaede took Airi's hand. Her hand was just a little cold.
"[excited]With this, Haruto's confession will definitely succeed. Kosuzume-san can't possibly turn him down after all the preparation you did. It's all thanks to you, Airi."
"[sad]...Yeah."
Airi forced the words out.
Her own voice sounded like it was coming from far away.
"[excited]Oh, right. When it's over, you absolutely have to give Haruto a push from behind. I mean, you're Haruto's best friend, right? If Haruto's feeling down, it's your job to comfort him, isn't it?"
Kaede's eyes stared intently into Airi's.
She was smiling. But her eyes weren't smiling at all.
Like a cat cornering its prey, a narrow, cold light dwelled within them.
(*This person... she knows.*)
About Airi's feelings. She knows everything, and yet—
She was driving in the nail, making sure Airi couldn't escape.
"[whispers]...I know."
Airi looked down.
Her own feet looked blurry. She desperately fought back the tears that threatened to spill.
"[excited]Good! Well then, I'm off to MC. You watch from here, Airi."
Kaede let go of her hand with a snap and walked toward the stage with a step that looked almost like a skip.
All that was left behind was the scent of sweet perfume.
Airi put her hand against the wall.
Her legs were frozen, unable to move.
(*What am I even doing?*)
Watching from a front-row seat as Haruto confessed to someone else.
Doing something like that... am I really going to be okay?
A tight, crushing pressure gripped her chest.
The words Ryuuji had said to her on the rooftop yesterday came back to life.
*—Aren't you baking those cookies for someone?*
*—Then at least bake them for someone whose taste buds they'll actually reach.*
(*They won't reach. They'll never reach.*)
Her feelings would never reach Haruto.
For ten years, she'd been right by his side, and still, they had never reached him.
"[cold]...So you're going through with it."
A low voice sounded right behind her.
Startled, Airi spun around.
Ryuuji stood leaning against the wall. His slightly bluish-black hair carelessly hid his right eye. Only his exposed left eye directed a cold, gray light at her.
"[scared]Ryuuji-kun... what are you doing here?"
"[cold]Just felt like it."
He said only that and averted his eyes from her.
He stared intently toward the gymnasium.
"[cold]You look pale. And you've got bags under your eyes. You didn't sleep last night, did you?"
He hit the nail on the head.
She hadn't slept a wink last night.
Lying in bed, she had thought about it over and over.
*—Who am I baking these cookies for?*
*—Will this one-sided love ever be rewarded?*
*—Or will it just stay like this forever?*
She hadn't found an answer. She'd just stared at the ceiling until the morning sun streamed through the window.
"[cold]With a face like that, I'm surprised you can even stand."
"[sad]...I can stand. I can stand, believe it or not."
Airi forced a smile onto her face.
It was the perfect smile she had polished over ten years, the one no one ever saw through.
But it didn't work on Ryuuji.
He just stared at her intently.
Those gray eyes seemed to be searching for something hidden behind her fake smile.
"[cold]...You're an idiot."
Muttering quietly, Ryuuji moved away from her.
His back disappeared into the clamor of the gymnasium.
Airi put her hand against the wall once more.
Her legs were trembling.
Even so, she had to be here.
For Haruto.
For Haruto's smile.
*—Because that's my happiness.*
Telling herself that, Airi began walking toward the stage.
The gymnasium was already packed with people.
The heat of seven hundred bodies clung stickily to her skin. The buzz of chatter, someone's laughter, the creaking of folding chairs. All of it writhed together like one giant living creature.
On the stage, a simple podium and microphone had been set up.
The decorations Airi had stayed up all night making—a large sign adorned with pink and red hearts—shone under the spotlight.
(*That's a piece of my heart.*)
She had cut out her unspoken feelings one by one and pasted them on.
But that would end today.
She didn't know if Haruto's love would bear fruit.
But at the very least—her role would end here.
(*I have to end it.*)
Airi clenched her fist tightly.
That was when it happened.
"[excited]Okaaay, everyone, listen up~! We will now begin the culture festival special event! The 'Gymnasium Public Confession Tournament'!"
Kaede's voice echoed throughout the gymnasium through the microphone.
She stood at the MC seat, beaming a perfect smile. The buzz gradually quieted down.
"[excited]Today's confessor is, believe it or not, that guy! From Class 2-3, Haruto-kuuun!!"
Cheers and applause erupted.
Amidst it all, Haruto walked up onto the stage.
His short-cropped black hair sparkled just a little under the spotlight. His usual buzz cut. Thick eyebrows. His slightly droopy, pitch-black eyes were opened a bit wider than usual from nervousness.
"[surprised]Man, I'm seriously nervous..."
Haruto's voice, amplified by the mic, echoed through the gymnasium.
Laughter rippled through the crowd.
Airi, standing in a corner of the audience seating, stared intently at his figure.
(*Don't go.*)
A small voice whispered deep in her heart.
(*Don't go, Haruto. Please.*)
But no one could hear it.
A voice that would never, ever reach Haruto.
"[serious]Um... I, well, I have something I absolutely have to say today, so I'm standing here."
Haruto took a deep breath.
The small mole on the back of his neck glistened with sweat.
The middle finger of his right hand—the finger still bearing the marks of baseball blisters—gripped the microphone tightly.
"[serious]There's someone I've liked for a long time. Ever since the first time I saw her, I couldn't stop following her with my eyes."
The gymnasium fell completely silent.
It was as if the breathing of seven hundred people had stopped all at once.
Airi's breath had stopped too.
"[serious]Kosuzume Toto-san!"
Haruto's voice rang out through the entire gymnasium.
"[serious]I like you! Please go out with me!"
A moment of silence.
Then—a stir ran through the venue.
Someone shouted "Whoooa!" Someone else started clapping. Many students turned all at once toward the direction in the audience where Kosuzume-san was likely sitting.
Airi just stared at Haruto.
Haruto's face was bright red, yet he gazed straight out at the audience.
In his eyes, probably, only Kosuzume-san was reflected.
Airi wasn't reflected there.
For ten years, not even once.
Her chest creaked and groaned.
She could hear the sound of something cracking.
(*I knew it. I knew it all along.*)
And yet, tears threatened to spill over.
Airi bit her lip and looked down.
At that moment—
"[gentle]I'm sorry, Haruto-kun."
Smoothly, a female student rose from the audience.
Kosuzume Toto-san.
Her waist-length, straight black hair swayed lustrously under the fluorescent lights. Intelligent, narrow black eyes. A single beauty mark like a tear below her right eye. With slow steps, she walked up onto the stage.
The gymnasium fell silent again.
Haruto stood frozen, at a loss for words.
Kosuzume-san reached for the microphone.
For just a split second, a look of displeasure crossed Kaede's face. But she immediately returned to a smile and offered the mic.
"[serious]I refuse."
Kosuzume-san's voice was as calm as a tranquil sea.
"[serious]But—before that, let me say one thing."
She looked around the audience.
And then, those narrow black eyes—caught Airi, straight on.
"[serious]Aren't you overlooking something far more important?"
The air in the gymnasium froze.
Everyone's gaze followed Kosuzume-san's line of sight—and converged on Airi.
Seven hundred eyes were directed at her all at once.
Airi couldn't move, as if pinned to the spot.
She couldn't breathe.
Her lungs refused to work, as if frozen solid.
Haruto slowly turned to face her.
What surfaced on his face was bewilderment.
(*Don't look. Don't look at me, Haruto.*)
Please—don't look at me with that expression.
"[sarcastic]Oh my, my~"
Suddenly, Kaede's voice rang throughout the gymnasium.
She rose from the MC seat and walked slowly to the center of the stage. In her hand, she held a microphone.
"[excited]Kosuzume-san, what exactly do you mean by that~? Could it be... you're talking about Takanashi-san?"
Kaede's voice was sweet, and laced with venom.
"[excited]I've been wondering whether I should say this for a while now—but, well, now that things have come this far, I'll stop hiding it."
Kaede turned her body toward Airi.
Those large, double-lidded eyes looked straight down at her.
She was smiling. But her eyes weren't smiling at all.
Rather—they looked amused.
Like a cat toying with its prey.
"[excited]Takanashi-san—you've liked Haruto all along, haven't you?"
The gymnasium fell silent as if a bucket of water had been thrown over it.
Everyone's stares pierced into Airi.
The stares hurt.
They hurt as if gouging into her skin.
"[excited]You don't have to hide it from me, your best friend. Come on, just say it in front of everyone!"
Kaede's voice, amplified by the microphone, echoed throughout the gymnasium.
Ten years' worth of secrets crumbled away with a sound.
Airi stared at Kaede's face.
She was smiling.
Her lips formed a gentle smile.
But her eyes were different.
Only her eyes shone coldly.
(*This person—*)
(*She knew everything, and she did it anyway.*)
Everything.
From the very beginning.
Pretending to be her best friend, using her, and then—exposing Airi's secret here, trying to stop Haruto from getting close to Kosuzume-san—
It was all calculated.
"[surprised]Airi...?"
She heard Haruto's voice.
Airi looked toward him.
Haruto was staring at her, dumbfounded.
His black eyes were wide with surprise.
Then, confusion.
Then—
—Then, something.
Something Airi couldn't identify.
"[serious]Airi, what she just said... is it true?"
Airi's mouth moved.
But no voice came out.
Her throat was completely parched.
She had to say something.
She had to deny it.
But she couldn't lie.
Because it was the truth.
She liked Haruto.
For ten years, all along, always—
The entire venue stared intently at Airi and Haruto.
A murmur spread.
"Wait, seriously?"
"Takanashi-san, about Haruto...?"
"So it was an unrequited love all along?"
Whispered voices washed over her like waves.
She couldn't take it anymore.
Her mind went completely blank.
She couldn't think of anything.
The scene before her eyes warped and twisted.
And then—
"[crying]No! That's not true!
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