Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid Side Story: Ilulu's Dilemma
A flame dragon's heart wavers between duty and doubt...
Ilulu was raised on one truth: humans are lesser beings, meant to be ruled. As a soldier of the Pure-Blood Flame, the Chaos Faction's most radical faction, she's never questioned the code—until the day she's ordered to deliver judgment on Tohru, the senior who once taught her how to fight, now living among humans as a maid.
Descending into a world of convenience stores, morning commutes, and gentle smiles, Ilulu watches Tohru serve a huma
Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid Side Story: Ilulu's Dilemma - Flame's Limit — Only Taught Words Come Out
No, I thought.
I understood it in my head. Humans are an inferior species meant to be ruled. The first article of the Chaos faction's code. I'd heard it so many times since the moment I was born a Flame Dragon that my ears should have grown calluses. And yet—why did my chest ache like this?
Ilulu sat hugging her knees in her corner of the apartment.
(Tonight, my answer.)
The words of Gardo's messenger echoed in her head. The deadline had passed. Tonight, he would hear her answer. In other words: whether she would dispose of Tohru or not. She had to thrust that answer in Gardo's face before the day was over.
(There's no way I can.)
At the bottom of her heart, she heard a voice of refusal. But the code was the code. Those tainted by humans had to be purified by flame. That was the righteousness of the Chaos faction. That was what she'd been taught from birth as a warrior of the Flame Dragons.
And yet.
Ilulu looked at her own hands. Small hands. Would these hands burn Tohru to ash? Gentle Tohru, who had taught her how to fight?
(I don't want to.)
But to acknowledge that feeling was nothing less than betrayal of the code.
"Ilulu, dinner is ready!"
A bright voice came flying at her. She turned, and there stood Tohru, blond twin-tails swaying, wearing a white apron. Her flat-tipped forked horns caught the evening light and glinted. Her golden eyes were narrowed in delight.
"...Don't want any."
Ilulu buried her face in her knees.
"What's wrong? You've been shut in your room all day since morning. Are you feeling unwell?"
Tohru's voice drew closer. Her presence came right up beside her.
"Nothing. It's nothing."
"...Ilulu, you're hiding something, aren't you."
Tohru's voice turned suddenly serious.
Ilulu's shoulders jumped with a start.
"It's none of your business."
She spat it out without lifting her face.
"Nothing is none of my business. You're my—"
"I said it's none of your business!"
Ilulu shouted. Even she could tell her voice was shaking.
Tohru fell silent.
For a while, the silence stretched on.
(Why am I saying this?)
Somewhere in her head, a calm part of her murmured. Tohru was worried about her. And yet all that came out of her mouth were words that pushed her away.
(I can't let her get close.)
The closer Tohru came, the heavier the reality pressed down on her—that she had to dispose of her. So she pushed her away. If she was shown any more kindness, she would break.
"...I understand."
Tohru said quietly.
"But remember just this one thing. Whatever choice you make, I'm on your side."
Those words pierced Ilulu's chest like a blade.
(On my side, she says.)
When I've been ordered to dispose of you. There's no way I could be on your side.
"Eat your dinner before it gets cold. ...Good night."
Tohru's footsteps receded.
Ilulu couldn't move, her face still buried in her knees.
(Whatever choice I make, she's on my side.)
Those words—that kindness—were too heavy.
There was no way out.
──
The next day.
Ilulu sat on the living-room sofa, staring blankly at the television.
The morning news program kept repeating that today's weather would be sunny. Outside the window it was indeed sunny. A blue sky. In the scorched valleys of the Chaos realm, you never saw a sky that color.
(Tohru went out shopping.)
After breakfast, Tohru had cheerfully headed out—"I'm going to buy Kobayashi-san's favorite things!" Kanna had gone with her. Right now, only Ilulu and Kobayashi were in the apartment.
"Oh, Ilulu. Want a drink?"
Kobayashi appeared from the kitchen carrying two cans of beer. Black short hair, sleepy-looking sanpaku eyes. A worn-out T-shirt and track pants. Her chest was on the modest side, and overall she had very little in the way of feminine features. This human woman was the one Tohru gave everything to.
"...I don't drink."
Ilulu turned her face away.
"That so. Well, can't go giving alcohol to a minor anyway."
Kobayashi popped the tab and took a sip of beer.
(A minor.)
Ilulu smiled bitterly inside. She was twenty, but she looked much younger. With a build not much different from Kanna's, it was no wonder.
"Hey, Ilulu."
Kobayashi said as she plopped down on the sofa.
"...What."
"So why do you hate humans so much?"
It was a direct question.
Ilulu was at a loss for words for a moment.
(Why do I hate them?)
"...Because I was taught to."
Ilulu answered as if squeezing the words out.
"Because you were taught to, huh."
Kobayashi just said "huh," and drank her beer again.
That was all.
"...That's it?"
Ilulu couldn't help asking back.
"Hm? Ah, yeah. That's it."
Kobayashi turned her gaze back to the TV.
(Why doesn't she say anything?)
Ilulu felt thrown off balance.
Humans either cursed the Chaos faction as "terrifying monsters" or rejected them as "incomprehensible beings." That was the reaction she'd expected.
And yet this human just said "huh," and drank her beer.
"Well, isn't what you want to do the most important thing?"
Kobayashi murmured it while watching TV.
"...What I want to do."
Ilulu repeated the words.
(What I want to do.)
She'd never thought about such a thing.
From the moment she was born, there was the code. She was taught humans were the enemy. She was taught to be strong as a warrior.
Had she ever chosen anything by her own will?
"Here, you drink too. Juice is fine."
Kobayashi took orange juice from the fridge and held it out to Ilulu.
"...Don't want it."
"Aw, don't say that. You're thirsty, aren't you."
Kobayashi forced the juice pack into Ilulu's hand.
It was cold.
Ilulu reluctantly stabbed the straw in and took a sip.
It was sweet.
(Why is this human so—)
No barbed words would come out.
In front of this human, her usual "whatever" and "I don't know" slid back down her throat.
(Why, I wonder.)
Ilulu took another sip of orange juice.
The cloying sweetness was strangely comforting.
──
Night.
Ilulu stood alone in the alley behind the station.
North side of East End Town Station. A narrow alley two meters wide. At the dead end, an old wall. At night, a rift in the boundary opened here. A rift only the Chaos faction could sense.
(I was called.)
Strictly speaking, she hadn't been called. But she understood. If she came here, Gardo would appear. There was that kind of presence about it.
The alley was dark and quiet. From far away came the sound of trains.
"Kept you waiting, Ilulu."
A low voice.
From the darkness, a man appeared.
Black scales covering his whole body. Especially prominent on his arms and the nape of his neck. Old scars on his face. Red eyes glinting sharply. His massive frame—over six feet—stood blocking the alley.
Gardo, warrior of the pure-blooded flame.
"...Gardo."
Ilulu caught her breath softly.
Not a messenger—the man himself had appeared in person.
"The pure-blooded flame will wait no longer."
Gardo took a step closer.
"Tomorrow, I will dispose of Tohru and that human woman myself."
Ilulu's heart froze.
"Wh—"
The words wouldn't come.
"If you won't do it, I will. You need only watch."
Gardo's red eyes fixed steadily on Ilulu.
"...But before that, I'll ask. You've been tainted by that human, haven't you?"
"That's not—I'm..."
"It is. I can tell by looking at your eyes. The eyes of one who has known human warmth."
Gardo slowly shook his head.
"A pity. You had the makings of a warrior of the Flame Dragons. But those who defy the code receive only sanction."
Gardo's right hand rose.
A hand covered in black scales. At his fingertips, a red flame flickered to life.
"Tomorrow, I dispose of Tohru and that woman. If you interfere, you'll face the flame's sanction as well."
The flame's sanction.
Exile or execution, carried out by the pure-blooded flame.
"You understand."
With only that, Gardo walked off toward the back of the alley.
He vanished into the darkness as if dissolving into it.
Ilulu was left alone in the alley.
Her legs trembled.
Strength drained from her knees.
"...What do I do?"
Her voice was hoarse.
Protect Tohru, or obey the code.
Whichever she chose, she would be punished.
Protect her, and face the flame's sanction.
Obey, and lose Tohru.
(There's no saving myself either way.)
She leaned her back against the wall and slowly sank down.
The darkness of night pressed down on her, heavy.
──
When she returned to the apartment, the living-room light was still on.
"Oh, Ilulu, welcome back."
Tohru, still in her apron, was smiling brightly.
"Oh, welcome back. You're late."
Kobayashi was sprawled on the sofa drinking beer.
"...I'm back."
Ilulu answered quietly.
"Dinner's ready. Tonight it's hamburgers—Kobayashi-san's favorite!"
"I mean, 'my favorite hamburgers' just means the ones you made, doesn't it."
"I made them because they make you happy, Kobayashi-san! It's only natural for a maid!"
Tohru laughed happily.
Kobayashi drank her beer with a wry smile.
The scene was so warm, so dazzling, that Ilulu couldn't look straight at it.
"...I'm going to rest first."
Ilulu passed through the living room and headed for the kitchen.
"Ilulu, what about dinner?"
"...Don't need it."
Ilulu stood in front of the gas stove.
(I have to absorb some fire.)
The Flame Dragons' energy source was flame. In the human world, they absorbed the fire from gas stoves and converted it into magical power.
Ilulu twisted the knob on the stove.
With a whoosh, a blue flame rose.
Ilulu slowly drew the flame into herself.
The fire entered her body. Warm. But it had no taste. Human fire was like a flavorless light snack.
(But for now, this is fine.)
Ilulu closed her eyes.
From the living room came the laughter of Tohru and Kobayashi.
"Ahaha, wait, Kobayashi-san, you're spilling your beer!"
"Shuddup, it's fine."
"Honestly, you're hopeless. Here, I'll wipe it up."
Warm sounds.
Happy voices.
But that warmth couldn't reach her.
(There's no place for me in that circle.)
Ilulu stared at the stove's flame.
A blue flame.
(What do I want?)
For the first time, she asked herself.
She could only say what she'd been taught.
She could only protect herself with a prickly attitude.
But the truth was—
(The truth is, I want to be in there too.)
The moment she thought that, her vision blurred.
Tears spilled over.
(Why am I crying?)
Ilulu wiped her tears roughly with the back of her hand.
But the tears wouldn't stop.
(What am I feeling?)
She didn't know.
She didn't know, but her chest ached.
Just then.
Part of Ilulu's hair turned into black scales.
The surge of emotion had disrupted her human disguise.
(This is what I really feel.)
Ilulu gently touched the hair that had become black scales.
Her heart was shaken so badly she couldn't maintain her human form.
(I am feeling something.)
Not something she was taught.
Her own heart was certainly feeling something.
Whether that was joy, or sorrow, or pain—
She still didn't know.
But one thing was certain.
(I can't go back to being a warrior who feels nothing.)
The flame went out.
Quiet darkness returned to the kitchen.
Ilulu stood rooted to the spot, unable to move for a while.
The laughter from the living room sounded far away.
That warm sound seemed to her like something beyond her reach.
(Tomorrow, Gardo will dispose of Tohru and Kobayashi.)
(I have to protect them.)
(But how?)
No answer came.
Only her tears wouldn't stop.
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