High school student Ren Arisato falls into a world that looks like a warzone — still wearing his uniform. But he doesn't panic. He can open an admin menu. In front of trembling villagers, he casually spawns legendary divine items, mutters that he just wants a quiet life, and walks off.
Lyra, the village herbalist, becomes his guide against her better judgment. A cat-eared girl named Kiki appoints herself his official witness and sells stories about his nonsense for high prices.
When a demon ho
Do Not Bend the Knee - Kiki News First Issue! The Conspiracy of the Three Kingdoms
A new wind was about to blow into the village of Carve.
No, it was more of a gust than a wind.
Standing at the village entrance was a small girl with short orange hair swaying from side to side. Atop her head, large cat ears the same color as her hair stood straight up. Her big golden eyes sparkled with curiosity. She stood about 148 centimeters tall. Her cat ears, matching her hair, and her supple tail with only its tip white swayed gently, as if anticipating something about to begin.
Kiki, a courier of the cat-eared tribe. Fourteen years old.
Clutching large bags in both hands, she strode boldly through the middle of the village.
"This is Carve Village, nya... The place where the rumored Arisato Ren is!"
Kiki's voice echoed unnaturally loud through the quiet morning village.
Adults working in the fields looked up. A woman drawing water at the well stopped her hands. Children followed behind Kiki, curious.
Kiki paid no mind to those gazes, walking along with a bouncing step. Her tail swung left and right, clearly in a good mood.
Her destination was the village's only tavern, the "Crooked Corner Inn."
The tavern was a wooden building facing the village's central square, situated overlooking a tributary of the Selva River. Inside, several regular farmers and passing peddlers had already gathered despite it being before noon. The specialty dish was Selva-style wild boar stew. You could eat it for eight copper coins.
Kiki flung the door open.
Creeeak.
The old hinges made an unpleasant sound.
"Hello there! My name's Kiki! I'm a courier from the cat-eared tribe! I've got something I want to ask here, is that okay, nya!?"
The men inside the tavern all turned around at once.
Standing behind the counter was the owner, Garof, in his fifties. A former mercenary, he bore an old burn scar on his left arm. He was the man in the village who had seen the most bloodshed. He silently fixed Kiki with a hard stare.
Kiki didn't flinch.
"Hey, hey, Arisato Ren is in this village, right!? The legendary messenger of god who took down the Demon King Dorvak in a single blow the other day!"
At those words, the atmosphere in the tavern changed.
The farmers glanced at each other. Some shook their heads, others looked down and fell silent.
Garof wiped the counter with his rough hands and spoke in a low voice.
"...Where did you hear that story?"
"Where? It's the talk of all three kingdoms right now! A real Demon King was burned to a crisp in a single swing by a mysterious man who fell into a human village! The only people who don't know about it are the people of this village, nya!"
Kiki puffed out her chest proudly.
Garof's eyebrow twitched.
"...Who are you?"
"I already told you, nya! I'm Kiki! A courier from the cat-eared tribe! And from today on—"
Kiki spun around once on the spot, then pulled a small booklet from her bag.
"I'm Kiki, the officially recognized witness of Arisato Ren! From now on, I'm going to write and sell the truth about Ren-kun as I see it with my own eyes, all in this 'Kiki Report'! The commemorative first issue is just five copper coins! Cheap, right!?"
Silence fell over the tavern for a moment.
"...Officially recognized witness?"
"That's right! I saw Dorvak fleeing with my own two eyes! I haven't met Ren-kun yet, but if I just declare myself official before meeting him, it's as good as done, right!?"
Garof let out a heavy sigh.
"...A real oddball's come to town."
But the villagers' reaction was different.
"The Kiki Report? Hey, does that have stuff about Lord Ren in it?"
"I'll buy it! I'll buy one too! It might have Lord Ren's secrets in it!"
"Give me a copy too!"
Villagers gathered around Kiki from all corners of the tavern. They were all people who had witnessed Ren's exploits that day. The messenger of god who had annihilated the demon scouting party in an instant and blown away the Demon King with a single swing. There was no way they wouldn't want information about that mysterious man.
Kiki sold the booklets one after another, her tail wagging furiously.
"Yes, thank you, nya! That's five copper coins! No change, so have it ready!"
The villagers scrambled to buy the Kiki Report.
Then, the first farmer to open the booklet muttered with a puzzled look.
"...What is this?"
The contents of the booklet were a bullet-point list of rumors about Arisato Ren that Kiki had collected throughout her life.
"Arisato Ren usually sleeps until around noon."
"Arisato Ren is often seen basking in the sun after lunch."
"Arisato Ren lets out a big yawn in front of his hut in the evening."
"Arisato Ren goes to bed early at night."
Laughter erupted from all around the tavern.
"What is this! It's just a record of his naps!"
"Hey, did you really see Lord Ren!?"
Kiki bristled with anger.
"How rude, nya! This is a valuable observation record! Everyone wants to know what kind of daily life a legendary man leads, right!? Especially this 'yawn length approximately four seconds'—that's super valuable data I measured at the risk of my life, nya!"
Laughter filled the tavern again.
Kiki walked along, writing information gathered from the villagers into her booklet.
"I see. Ren-kun's hut is on a hill at the edge of the village, nya."
Kiki's ears twitched.
"And there's a herbalist named Lyra who's going around calling herself his PR representative. Hmm, she's doing something similar to me, nya."
Kiki looked up at the small hut on the hill.
The former shepherd's hut looked quite shabby from the outside. The walls were mossy, and part of the roof was about to cave in. But Kiki knew. Despite its appearance, there were rumors that the inside of this hut was incredibly comfortable.
"Well, then."
Kiki set down the large pack she'd been carrying at a spot a short distance from the hut.
Out of it came a simple tent.
With practiced hands, Kiki had the tent up in no time. Many of the cat-eared tribe made their living through travel. Kiki was no exception.
"This is my new base, nya! The Ren-kun Observation Hut!"
Kiki placed her hands on her hips in front of the tent, looking satisfied.
That was when it happened.
Rattle.
The hut's window opened.
Peering out was a boy with messy black short hair and sleepy dark-brown eyes. Seventeen years old. Arisato Ren himself.
He looked down at Kiki with half-lidded eyes.
"...What are you doing?"
Kiki's face lit up.
"Ah! The rumored Ren-kun! Nice to meet you! I'm Kiki! A courier from the cat-eared tribe, and from today, your officially recognized witness, nya!"
Kiki gave a little bow. Her tail wagged furiously.
Ren stared at Kiki.
"...Officially recognized witness."
"That's right! I'm the important official who watches you, records everything, and tells the whole world about it! Nice to meet you, nya!"
Ren was silent for a while.
Then he slowly opened his mouth.
"Huh."
That was all.
Ren shut the window with a thud.
After that, quiet breathing sounds could be heard from inside the hut again.
"...Huh? Did I just get ignored?"
Kiki tilted her head.
"Well, whatever, nya! Having an unresponsive observation subject is convenient for me! I can record freely as much as I want, nya!"
Kiki pulled out her booklet and immediately began writing something.
"Arisato Ren responded to a stranger's arbitrary declaration with only the word 'Huh.' He then closed the window and began napping. This indifference is truly befitting of a legendary man... nya, this will sell!"
Kiki's tail wagged widely again.
Meanwhile, around that time.
At the herbal shop "Leaf Vein Hall" facing the village's central square, the owner Lyra Fernell let out a deep sigh.
Nineteen-year-old herbalist Lyra had her long ash-brown hair braided on the left side, her calm green eyes narrowed. The freckles scattered across the bridge of her nose were clouded with worry. The scent of dried herbs wafted softly from the small herb bag at her waist.
"Another troublesome one's shown up..."
Lyra had heard about Kiki from a villager passing by the shop.
"Officially recognized witness? Kiki Report? What is that? That girl isn't planning to use Ren for her own business behind my back, is she?"
Lyra gripped the edge of her apron tightly.
Arisato Ren was a source of headaches for her. No, more than a source of headaches—for the past month, he'd caused her so much worry she thought she'd develop a stomach ulcer. He pulled out legendary divine items one after another, erased demons, blew away the Demon King, and turned away the kingdom's investigation team. All of it could become international incidents shaking the balance between the three kingdoms and the demon territory.
Lyra had sensed earlier than anyone that Ren was becoming the center of the world, regardless of his own intentions.
"...I should at least go see Ren and warn him about that cat-eared girl."
With that murmur, Lyra rushed out of the shop.
The hut on the hill.
Ren was wrapped in his blanket with his eyes closed.
Knock, knock, knock.
"Ren! Wake up!"
No answer.
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock!
"I know you're awake! A villager told me you poked your head out the window earlier!"
After a while, a sluggish voice came from inside the hut.
"...So noisy. I was sleeping."
"You weren't sleeping. You were just at the window, weren't you?"
"That was... a dream."
"Who opens and closes a window while yawning in their dream!?"
Lyra sighed.
Next to the hut stood Kiki's simple tent. Kiki herself was pressing her ear against the hut's wall, booklet in hand, trying to catch what was happening inside.
Lyra stood in front of Kiki.
"Your name's Kiki, right?"
Kiki grinned.
"Oh, you know my name, nya! You're Lyra-san, right? The herbalist rumored to be Ren-kun's PR representative! I've done my research on you!"
"...What did you research about me?"
"Let's see—Lyra Fernell, nineteen years old. Owner of Leaf Vein Hall. Decent at cooking. Bad at waking up. Despite being exasperated with Ren-kun, she's developed a habit of looking after him."
"Where did you learn that last part!?"
"I asked the villagers, nya."
Lyra pressed her fingers to her temple.
"...Listen, okay? Ren probably won't care about you doing business. But that man has no intention of doing anything himself, so when things get troublesome, the people around him suffer the fallout. So you absolutely must not make him angry."
Kiki tilted her head.
"Make him angry? I've only ever seen Ren-kun sleeping or yawning, nya. Does he actually get angry?"
"It's not so much anger—if you put him in a bad mood, he'll say 'what a pain' and disappear from in front of us. Or he'll solve it in some outrageous way. Either way, everyone around him suffers."
Lyra's words carried the weight of a month of firsthand experience.
Kiki put her hand to her mouth in a thoughtful gesture.
"I see. Ren-kun looks indifferent, but he's actually pretty lazy, nya."
"It's not 'actually'—that's just how he is."
"I see... You've had it rough, nya."
"...I feel like you just said the one thing I least wanted to hear."
That was when it happened.
The hut's window rattled open again.
"You're too loud. I can't sleep."
Ren looked down at the two of them with a sleepy face.
Lyra put her hands on her hips and glared at Ren.
"There's a stray cat who's pitched a tent next to your hut. And she says she's going to observe you and sell the records. You have no complaints?"
Ren glanced at Kiki.
Kiki waved with a beaming smile.
"I'm Ren-kun's officially recognized witness from today! Nice to meet you, nya!"
Ren was silent for a moment.
"...Do whatever you want. Just don't be noisy."
"Yay! I got permission, nya!"
Kiki jumped up and down in delight.
Lyra pressed her hand to her forehead.
"...Are you really okay with this?"
"Doesn't matter. It's not like I lose anything."
"That's... not the point."
Ren let out a huge yawn.
"Well, I'm going to sleep."
The window slammed shut.
Lyra stood there for a while, then let out a deep sigh and turned back
Novelia is an AI-powered platform to read original light novels and fan fiction, create your own in just a few taps, and chat with the characters. New, illustrated episodes arrive daily — free to start.