Shiori Novella, a member of hololive English's 'Advent,' wakes up one morning to find her body has turned male. She screams as she sees herself in the mirror. Rushing to the next room, she finds Bijou, now a girl with long flowing hair and a soft feminine figure. They point at each other and shriek in unison.
Nerissa arrives, now a boy, her cool demeanor intact but her voice deeper, and she sighs at her reflection. Fuwa appears as a girl, and even her relationship with Mococo and Abyssgard is
hololive Gender Panic! ~Shiori's Observation Diary~ - Rock Bottom Love Square! The Night Before Confessions, the Day Everyone's Hearts Break
Morning light slipped through the gap in the curtains in thin lines.
Shiori Novella stared at the observation diary spread open on the desk. Their black-and-white two-tone short bob shimmered silver in the morning sun. Their large amber eyes were fixed on a single point on the page.
*My Feelings*
That section alone was blank.
Four days since the genders had swapped. They had recorded their companions' actions, words, and shifting expressions in meticulous detail. Who looked at whom, and with what face. Who said what, and who fell silent.
And yet.
"…The only blank space is mine."
Shiori gripped the pen. Their fingertips trembled faintly.
They had always only recorded others. That was what a chronicler did, they'd thought. But what was this blank space? It was as if they themselves had never existed from the start.
A chill spread deep in their chest.
"…What is this?"
Their voice shook.
That was when it happened.
*Knock, knock.*
Someone knocked on the door.
"Shiori-chan, are you awake?"
Bijou's voice. Soft, and trembling just a little.
Shiori closed the diary.
"…Yes, I'm awake. You can come in."
The door opened slowly.
Bijou Koseki stepped into the room. Their waist-length black hair swayed softly. Their large violet eyes gazed at Shiori. On their wrist was the garnet bracelet from their grandmother.
"…Good morning."
"Good morning, Bijou."
Bijou stopped in the middle of the room. They opened their lips as if to say something, then closed them.
Shiori unconsciously opened the observation diary. Gripped the pen.
"…Um, Shiori-chan."
"What is it?"
Shiori answered without lifting their eyes from the diary.
"…I want to continue what we were talking about yesterday."
Bijou's voice grew even smaller.
"…Continue from yesterday?"
Shiori's pen moved across the page.
*Bijou visits in the morning. Says they want to continue yesterday's conversation. Expression is stiff. Voice is trembling.*
"…Yeah. Um, what I asked you. I was wondering how you feel about me."
"…How I feel about you."
Shiori wrote in the diary again.
*Bijou repeats the same question as yesterday. Seems to want confirmation of my feelings toward them.*
"…Shiori-chan?"
"Hm? Oh, sorry. Wait a moment, I'm recording right now."
"…Recording."
Bijou's voice sank, just barely.
"…Right. You're recording."
"Yes. Because this is an important subject of observation. I have to properly record how everyone's feelings are moving."
Shiori said it without looking up.
"…Everyone's feelings."
Bijou repeated it in a small voice.
"That's right. How you're feeling right now, coming here—that's important data too."
"…Data."
Bijou's lips began to tremble.
"…My feelings are data."
The voice was barely audible.
Shiori finally looked up.
Bijou's violet eyes were brimming with tears. The rims were red.
"…Bijou?"
"…Sorry. I interrupted you."
Bijou turned away sharply.
"Wait, Bijou!"
Shiori tried to stand.
But their legs wouldn't move.
Bijou fled from the room. The door slammed shut.
Silence fell over the room.
Shiori stood frozen. The pen in their hand rattled and shook.
They should have chased after them.
They knew that.
And yet, they couldn't move.
"…What am I doing?"
Shiori looked down at the diary.
*Bijou leaves the room, holding back tears.*
The moment they wrote that line, something deep in their chest made the sound of breaking.
When they went down to the living room, an unfamiliar piece of paper sat on the table.
*Everyone Confess at Once Grand Plan!! Three days left! Let's all confess for real!*
A poster someone had written last night. The handwriting was round and bubbly—it looked like Fuwawa's.
"…Three days."
Three days left until the curse's deadline.
Shiori stared at the poster.
Then Nerissa Ravenkluft came down the stairs. Their deep purple-black hair was tied back in a single tail, their left eye hidden by their bangs. Since becoming a man, their voice had dropped even lower. Their sharp reddish-brown eyes looked at the poster and let out a sigh.
"…This again."
"Nerissa. Good morning."
"Yeah."
Nerissa flopped down onto the sofa.
"…Fuwawa still has the wrong idea about me from yesterday."
"Wrong idea?"
"…Bijou's got it in their head that I like Fuwawa. And because of that, Fuwawa's acting weird about it too."
"…Ah, the photo thing."
Nerissa exhaled deeply.
"…I'm going to talk to Fuwawa today. Clear up the misunderstanding."
"Right. That's for the best."
Shiori opened the diary.
*Nerissa resolves to clear up the misunderstanding with Fuwawa. But their expression is dark.*
Early afternoon.
Nerissa called Fuwawa out to the garden.
The backyard of the House of Advent. A small flower bed and a single wooden bench.
Fuwawa came bouncing over, their fluffy silver-white hair swaying. Their large light-blue eyes looked up at Nerissa.
"Nerissa onii-chan, what is it?"
"…I need to talk to you."
"To me?"
Fuwawa tilted their head.
"…It's about the photo from yesterday. It didn't mean anything about you."
"The photo?"
"…The photo I dropped. The one with you in it."
"Oh, that one!"
Fuwawa clapped their hands together.
"Why did you have a photo of me?"
"…That's—"
Nerissa's words caught in their throat.
"…That photo had me and Mokoko in it together, right? I really like that photo. So I thought you had a photo of me too, and it made me happy."
"…It made you happy?"
"Yeah. Because it meant you were looking at me."
Fuwawa smiled brightly.
Nerissa's chest ached.
"…No. It wasn't you—"
"Wasn't me?"
Fuwawa stared at Nerissa.
"…Nerissa onii-chan. I don't understand."
"Understand what?"
"What is love?"
Fuwawa's voice turned serious.
"…Why so suddenly?"
"Because everyone keeps saying love, love, love, right? I get doki-doki too. When I'm with Mokoko, my heart races. But I don't know if that's love, or if it's more like family."
Fuwawa grabbed Nerissa's arm tightly.
"Nerissa onii-chan, do you know? Is my doki-doki the same as what I feel for Mokoko? Or is it different?"
"…How should I know?"
"How should you know—that's mean!"
"…Don't ask me. I don't understand it either."
"You don't either, Nerissa onii-chan?"
"…No."
Nerissa tried to shake off Fuwawa's hand.
But Fuwawa wouldn't let go.
"…Then why did you have the photo? The photo of me."
"…That's—"
In Nerissa's mind, Bijou's face surfaced.
Violet eyes. A gentle smile. Long black hair.
That photo had Fuwawa and Mokoko in it. But in the background, Bijou was there.
Just a little, in the distance.
"…It wasn't you."
Nerissa forced the words out.
"…Huh?"
"…The one I was looking at in that photo wasn't you. …It was Bijou."
"…Bijou onee-chan?"
Fuwawa's eyes went wide.
"…That's right. I like Bijou."
Nerissa spoke their feelings aloud for the first time.
"…But I can't say it. Someone like me could never be worthy of Bijou."
"…Nerissa onii-chan."
"…So please. Don't tell anyone about this."
Nerissa shook off Fuwawa's hand. This time, they managed it.
"…Wait! I still don't understand! What is love?! You like Bijou onee-chan. So is my doki-doki the same as what I feel for Mokoko? Or is it different?!"
Fuwawa shouted.
"…How should I know? Figure it out yourself."
Nerissa left the garden.
They slammed their fist against the wall.
*Thud.*
A dull pain shot through their palm.
"…Damn it."
They hated this male body. Hated it so much they couldn't stand it.
They wanted to protect Bijou, but couldn't.
Couldn't even properly convey their own feelings.
"…Why am I so clumsy?"
Nerissa punched the wall again.
Evening.
Fuwawa's crying echoed through the living room.
"I don't understand! What is love?! Everyone else gets it! I'm the only one who doesn't!"
Fuwawa was collapsed on the floor. Their silver-white hair scattered across it. Large tears spilled from their light-blue eyes.
"…Fuwawa."
Bijou rushed over to them.
"Bijou onee-chan… I don't understand… Everyone understands their doki-doki… I'm the only one who doesn't…"
Fuwawa clung to Bijou.
"…It's okay. I don't understand either."
Bijou held Fuwawa close.
"…You don't either, Bijou onee-chan?"
"…Yeah. I don't understand my own feelings either. I might like Shiori-chan. But I don't know if it's love, or admiration."
Bijou's voice trembled.
"…Your doki-doki is because you like Shiori-chan?"
Fuwawa asked it directly.
Bijou's body went rigid.
"…That's—"
Tears overflowed from Bijou's violet eyes.
"…I don't know. I don't know. I like Shiori-chan. I like them, but in the diary, I'm only written down as data."
"…Bijou onee-chan."
"…My feelings are data. I'm just a subject of observation. …Does that mean I'm nothing more than an observation target to Shiori-chan?"
Bijou's tears wouldn't stop.
Fuwawa started crying too.
"…I don't understand either… What is love…"
The two of them sobbed, their cries filling the living room.
Shiori stood frozen at the entrance to the living room.
They tried to open the observation diary.
But their hand wouldn't move.
They couldn't record.
Right in front of them, their companions were crying.
And yet, they couldn't write a single word.
"…I—"
Shiori's lips trembled.
"…I'm the chronicler, and I can't record anything."
Their chest felt like it was about to burst.
Just then, Nerissa entered the living room.
The moment they saw Bijou and Fuwawa crying, Nerissa's face went pale.
"…You two."
Nerissa tried to approach them.
But their feet stopped.
They knew they couldn't do anything.
"…Damn it."
Nerissa turned away sharply and bolted out to the garden.
All Shiori could do was watch their retreating back.
"…I can't do anything."
The diary slipped from their hands.
Night.
Shiori had returned to their room.
They sat on the bed and opened the observation diary.
The blank *My Feelings* section.
"…I'll stop. I'm done."
Shiori grabbed the page.
They tried to tear it out.
At that moment.
From beyond the door, they heard a voice.
"…I like Shiori-chan, though."
It was Bijou's voice.
Sobbing.
"…Won't you even write my feelings in your diary?"
A tiny, tiny murmur.
Shiori's hand stopped.
"…Bijou."
Shiori rushed to the door.
They reached for the doorknob.
But they couldn't open it.
They were scared.
They didn't know what kind of face they were making right now.
"…Goodnight, Shiori-chan. …Sleep well."
Bijou's footsteps faded away.
Shiori pressed their back against the door and slid down to the floor.
"…This is my fault."
Tears spilled over.
They wouldn't stop.
It was the first time they'd cried since becoming a man.
They cried, stifling their voice.
"…Bijou was crying. It's my fault. I'm hurting too."
With trembling hands, Shiori opened the diary.
Gripped the pen.
*Bijou was crying. It's my fault. I'm hurting too.*
For the first time, they wrote their own feelings.
"…So this is how I feel."
Shiori clutched the diary to their chest.
Late night.
Nerissa stood in the garden, motionless under the moonlight.
Their shadow stretched long across the ground.
A man's shadow.
"…I want to protect Bijou."
Nerissa glared at the shadow.
"…But I can't. I'm weak."
They clenched their fist.
"…This body, this voice—I hate all of it."
That was when.
"…Nerissa."
A voice came from behind.
They turned to find Mokoko standing there.
"…Mokoko."
"…Was it you who made Fuwawa cry?"
Mokoko's voice was low, edged with anger.
Nerissa said nothing.
They didn't deny it.
"…Answer me."
"…It was me."
Nerissa said it quietly.
"…You made Fuwawa cry."
Mokoko stepped forward.
"…Yeah. I made Fuwawa cry. …But."
Nerissa looked Mokoko straight in the eye.
"…Cherish Fuwawa."
"…What?"
"…Fuwawa cares about you more than anything. …I can't protect them. …So you do it."
With that, Nerissa left the garden.
Mokoko stared at their retreating back.
The next morning.
Shiori glanced at the Enigma Codex resting by their pillow.
An old tome bound like parchment
Novelia is an AI-powered platform to read original light novels and fan fiction, create your own in just a few taps, and chat with the characters. New, illustrated episodes arrive daily — free to start.