My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU IF: Yukinoshita's Choice - Yukinoshita Yukino chooses to drop out.

The atmosphere of culture festival preparations had dyed Class 2-F's classroom as if it were a completely different world. Desks pushed together, cardboard being cut, paint splattered across large sheets of poster paper. My classmates were raising their voices, laughing, sometimes bumping into each other as they threw themselves into preparing their class exhibit. As for me, Hikigaya Hachiman, I sat slouched in my seat by the window in the last row, watching the commotion with cold eyes. (*Looks fun, huh.*) I muttered that in my mind. Not sarcastically. I truly, from the bottom of my heart, thought so. Those guys, putting that much effort into a culture festival—what's so fun about it? *Good grief*, that's how I felt. I dropped my gaze downward. Light the color of sunset fell on the pages of the paperback I'd left open. It would be after school soon. The clamor of the classroom sounded terribly distant. Even though we were in the same space, it felt like I alone was in a different world. No, that was probably literally true. Between loner me and those who weren't, there was something like an invisible wall. (*Wish this would just end already.*) Without turning the page, I looked outside the window. In the courtyard, other classes were, also having fun, building large props. ...Lonely? Not at all. There's no way I'd think that. What's fun about running in packs? Being alone is obviously the easiest. That said, after school was after school—I had another gathering to attend. The Service Club, that troublesome club. It all started a few months ago. My homeroom teacher, Hiratsuka-sensei, got a look at an essay I'd written. Its contents were, well, the kind of thing that showed off my twisted personality to an almost excessive degree. Whether it struck a nerve with her or resonated with her, either way, I was more or less forcibly thrown into the Service Club, the club treated as the school's oddity. Sobu High School, a prefectural school. A perfectly ordinary college-prep school in Chiba City. Slightly above average in academic standing. It had a cafeteria and a school store, and its motto was something like "independence and self-discipline." Well, in the end, it was just a normal, boring school. On the fourth floor of that school's special building. An old, unused reference room—that was our clubroom. ...It's strange, isn't it. There's a part of me that's gotten just a little used to the air of that room, so completely different from spending time in my own classroom. The bell rang. Time for release. I lifted my heavy body out of the chair and left the classroom, as if fleeing from my classmates' enthusiasm. ◆◆◆ I climbed the stairs of the special building. It was quiet. With each floor I ascended, it felt like sound was vanishing from the world. The clamor of the classroom seemed like a lie; this place alone, in this school, felt like time flowed more slowly. Fourth floor of the special building. The very back. An old wooden door. I knocked. "...Excuse me." To put it modestly, it was the most calming space in this entire school. No, it's not like I like it or anything. "Calming" just means it isn't noisy. When I opened the door, afternoon light streamed in through the west-facing window. The whole room was melting into orange. A small room of about eight tatami mats. A long table in the center. Old shelves against the walls. And by the window, the usual spot. "...You came." A quiet voice, like the ringing of a bell. In the corner of the clubroom, Yukinoshita Yukino had just set down a teacup. Glossy black hair reaching her waist. Long, narrow eyes of a deep blue-green, like jewels. A straight nose bridge and fair skin. Despite having a perfect, model-like face, it almost always bore almost no expression. "Yahallo! Hikki, you're late!" In contrast, a bright voice flew at me. Yuigahama Yui. Fluffy brown medium-length hair and big brown eyes. The type of girl who, in the classroom, always seemed to be at the center of the popular group. "It's not like I'm late. And don't call me Hikki." "Eh, c'mon, it's not like it costs you anything. Oh, Yukinon, thanks for the tea!" "Yes. It's hot, so be careful." Yui eagerly accepted the cup offered to her. I sat down in my usual spot, the old wooden chair by the window. This slightly mismatched exchange between the three of us. A scene I couldn't have imagined just a few months ago. I casually opened my paperback. My eyes followed the words, but nothing entered my head. "Hey, listen, my class—my classmates have zero motivation. Our exhibit ended up being a haunted house, but no one's actually making anything, seriously. I'm not even on the executive committee, but I'm being forced to help." "I see. That sounds rough." "It is! What about you, Hikki? What's your class doing?" "...How should I know." "Hah!? At least know what your own class is doing!" "A culture festival is just a grand waste of resources carried out by the entire school. That kind of thing should just end as quickly as possible." "As always, aren't you. So twisted." "Shut up." All things considered, it was a quiet time. The scent of tea leaves. The small sound of a cup being set down. This distance—never warm, but comfortable. ...Honestly, not bad. That's what I thought. And then it happened. "You two." Yukino's voice changed the air of the room. "There's something I need to tell you." I raised my face from my book. Yukino looked straight at me and Yui in turn. Those deep blue-green eyes seemed, just slightly, to waver more than usual. "...What is it? So formal." Yui tilted her head. Yukino took one slow breath. "I've decided to leave this school." ◆◆◆ Time stopped. The sound of my heartbeat was loud. It felt like my blood was flowing backward. My fingertips went cold all at once. "...Eh?" Only Yui's voice sounded terribly loud. "What... what do you mean? ...What are you saying, Yukinon?" Yukino's expression didn't change. She just looked straight ahead. "I'm leaving the school. I've already submitted my withdrawal notice. I'm planning to transfer to a boarding school in Switzerland in the near future." ...Switzerland? Boarding school? It was so sudden that my mind couldn't keep up. "Why... why so suddenly!? Hey, I never heard anything about this...!" Yui's voice began to tremble. "I never told you. I'm sorry. But it's already been decided." Yukino's voice was calm, like a placid sea. How could she be so composed in this situation? "...No, wait. This is weird. I mean, until just recently, everything was normal... Hey, Hikki, say something too!" Yui looked at me with pleading eyes. ...What was I supposed to say? Somewhere in my head, I could feel myself deeply shaken. And yet, my mouth wouldn't move. Something was stuck in the back of my throat. "Yuigahama-san." Yukino called Yui's name. "This is something I decided for myself, after thinking about it a great deal. So there's no need for you to worry yourself over it." "...Decided for yourself." That phrase lingered in my ears, strangely. Decided for yourself. The moment I heard those words, a different scene resurfaced in my mind. ...The hallway in front of the nurse's office, early that spring. Voices laughing loudly. And the smile directed at me, back then. The memory scratched at an old wound. The confession incident from middle school. I had, for the first time, conveyed my feelings to someone. As a result, I was made a laughingstock. "Whoa, he's seriously saying it?" "Isn't that gross?" "I forwarded the photo." From that moment on, I decided. Never say what you really feel. You'll just be mocked anyway. No one believes anything I say. Even if someone like me tried to convey something— "...If it's something you decided, then it's not my place to say anything." My voice was cold, even to my own surprise. "Do whatever you want." The moment I spat those words out— Yukino's face—for just an instant, just a single instant—crumpled. Like she was about to cry. No, she wouldn't cry. She never cries. But I could see a deep wound run through those blue-green eyes. "...Yes. I will." Yukino set down her cup. She quickly picked up the bag with her belongings. "Yukinon, wait! There's still so much we haven't talked about—" "Yuigahama-san, I'm sorry. I can't talk about this any more right now." Yukino gave Yui a small apology, then headed straight for the clubroom exit. The door closed. It was quiet. A silence as if only the two of us had been left behind in the world. ...Regret, like poison, slowly welled up from deep in my chest. (*Why can't I say anything but that kind of thing?*) The paperback I was holding made a crumpling sound. "...Why?" Yui's voice came from behind me. "Why do you say things like that...!" I turned around. Yui was glaring at me, large tears streaming down her face. "You don't want Yukinon to leave either, do you, Hikki!? Then why did you say something like that!? That's not what you really think, is it!?" Her voice was shaking, and tears ran down her cheeks and fell to the floor. ...I know. I know that better than anyone. "...What I think doesn't matter. If she decided it herself." "That's exactly it! That thing about you—always thinking about everything alone, never saying what you really feel—it's really, the worst!" Yui shouted as if wringing out her voice, then muttered "idiot" once more, quietly. And then she, too, ran out of the clubroom. I was alone. The western sun was dyeing the entire clubroom orange. The tea Yukino had made for me was still letting off steam. In the empty clubroom, I cast a long shadow on the floor. ◆◆◆ The veil of night had long since covered the town. I lay sprawled on the bed in my room. A six-tatami room. A study desk, a bookshelf. A small TV with no monitor attached. Just a calendar on the wall—utterly bleak. I stared at the ceiling. I closed my eyes. ...I couldn't sleep. "I'm leaving the school." Yukino's voice was spinning around and around in the back of my ears. "Do whatever you want." And then, my own, worst possible voice. I gripped the pillow tightly. (*Why did I say something like that?*) Somewhere in my head, I understood. At that moment, I was just scared. Seeing Yukino's serious face, something old in my memory began to ache. Middle school. I confessed to a girl for the first time. The result: I was laughed at by everyone. I don't want to remember her face or her name anymore. But the texture of that laughter—that, I remember vividly. I decided to give up on trusting people, on expecting anything. Just hide your true feelings. Just don't expect anything. I put the softest part of my heart into an iron box and locked it. And I'd already thrown away the key somewhere. ...But. (*I said, "Do whatever you want."*) (*That's not what I really think.*) (*What I really think is—*) My throat tightened. I don't want Yukino to leave. Deep, deep inside my heart, there's a part of me screaming that. But I have no idea how to let that voice out. Even if I did, I'd surely be laughed at again. Her blue-green eyes would look at me, coldly, and say: *What are you saying, now of all times?* Just imagining it made my chest freeze over. My phone vibrated quietly. I picked it up. It wasn't a message from Yuigahama Yui. Classmates were discussing the culture festival in a group chat. I read it and ignored it. ...Still, I wondered. Why did Yukino suddenly say she was leaving school? She suited that place, brewing tea. That quiet, boring, never-stimulating room. I didn't dislike that time. That's why I said what I said. No, it's the opposite. Because I didn't dislike it, I ended up saying that. Hurting her. Making Yui cry too. ...I'm the worst. Through the gap in the curtains, moonlight filtered in faintly. Only time passed, slowly. Regretting everything, cursi

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Name: My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU IF: Yukinoshita's Choice
Author: Novelia

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