My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU IF: Yukinoshita's Choice
In the spring of his second year of high school, Hachiman Hikigaya, a cynical loner, is forced into the Service Club by his teacher. There he meets the perfect beauty Yukino Yukinoshita and the cheerful Yui Yuigahama. As they spend time together, Hachiman slowly begins to open his heart. But he never reveals his true feelings.
One day during cultural festival preparations, Yukino says quietly, 'I have something I need to tell you both.' Hachiman and Yui look puzzled. Yukino takes a deep breath
My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU IF: Yukinoshita's Choice - Yukinoshita Yukino disappeared.
The day before the cultural festival.
The morning classroom was even noisier than usual. Mountains of cardboard boxes, the smell of poster paper, the sound of packing tape being torn. With the Sobu Festival looming tomorrow, the entire school building was buzzing with restless energy.
I, Hikigaya Hachiman, sat in the last row by the window, watching that excitement as if it had nothing to do with me.
No.
I wanted it to have nothing to do with me.
(*Yukinoshita still hasn't come.*)
By the classroom door, I could see Yui glancing repeatedly at Yukino's seat. Yukino was in a different class, but coming to check on her before morning homeroom had become Yui's daily routine these past few days.
I'd been doing the same thing.
I passed by Yukino's classroom. Her seat by the window was empty. Yesterday, the day before, and the day before that.
(*The day before the cultural festival. The time limit is today—*)
Yui's face went stiff as she stared at her phone, and then she bolted out of the classroom.
Something must have happened.
Feeling a chill spreading through my chest, I followed after her.
◆◆◆
Before first period started, Yui came back.
Her eyes were red and swollen, and she looked like she was about to burst into tears at any moment.
"Hachiman... I need to ask you something."
Yui pulled me into a corner of the hallway and spoke in a small, trembling voice.
"Yukinon didn't come today either. And I just couldn't take it anymore, so I called her house."
"...You did that?"
"I know. I know it might've been out of line. But, but it's the day before the cultural festival, you know? There's no time left, and Yukinon not showing up is just wrong."
A single tear spilled from Yui's eye.
"The person who answered wasn't her mom, it was someone like a secretary... They just said, 'Yukino-sama is not accepting visitors,' and hung up."
"'Not accepting visitors.'"
"Yeah. I said, 'I'm her friend.' And they said, 'Even for friends, we cannot put you through today.' In this really cold voice."
Yui still seemed shaken by the voice on the other end of that call.
(*Not accepting visitors, huh.*)
Those words were like an iron door.
All the time we'd desperately piled up. The sunsets in the clubroom, the words of the manuscript, the sound of the three of us laughing. All of it, shut out with a single slam, as if it had never existed in the first place.
"Hachiman, what do we do..."
Yui looked at me with pleading eyes.
"...I don't know."
That was all I could say.
(*What can I even do? We're talking about a prominent family in Chiba. A high schooler calling won't even get the gate to open.*)
"Hachiman, you try calling too. If it's your voice, maybe it'll reach Yukinon."
"Like I said, if you couldn't get through, there's no way I—"
"Please!"
Yui bowed her head deeply.
I stared at her trembling shoulders for a few seconds, then pulled out my phone.
Yukino's number, saved in my contacts. I pressed the call button.
The dial tone echoed in my ears, strangely heavy.
*Click.*
"Thank you for calling. This is the Yukinoshita residence."
A woman's voice. Polite, but with no warmth.
"...My name is Hikigaya. I'd like to speak with Yukinoshita-san."
"Yukino-sama is not accepting visitors today."
"I'm a friend. From school, same club."
"I am aware. However, I cannot put you through."
"Just for a moment. There's something about the manuscript for the cultural festival—"
"I cannot put you through."
The same words.
Repeated without inflection, as if playing back a recording.
"Yukino-sama is scheduled to formally withdraw from school tomorrow. For any future matters, please contact her family."
"Huh...?"
"Excuse me."
*Click.* *Beep, beep, beep.*
The call ended.
(*Formally withdraw tomorrow.*)
The back of my head went completely blank.
I should have known. Haruno-san's paper said it would take a week for the procedures to be completed. That was today. The day before the cultural festival. The time limit. I knew.
And yet.
"...Did she say anything? About Yukinon?"
"Not accepting visitors, apparently."
I gripped my phone tightly.
"And... she's formally withdrawing from school tomorrow."
Yui blinked for a moment, then slowly absorbed the meaning.
Her large eyes opened even wider.
"No..."
She murmured, barely audible.
"No, that's... that's just... today's the day before the cultural festival, you know? I wanted everyone to read Yukinon's novel. We decided the three of us would do our best together..."
Yui sank down to the floor.
The corner of the hallway. The noisy atmosphere of the day before the cultural festival echoed in the distance.
"Hachiman, what am I supposed to do... I can't even see Yukinon..."
Her tearful voice echoed through the hallway.
I couldn't do anything.
Couldn't sit beside her, couldn't pat her head, couldn't offer any clever words.
All I could do was watch Yui's trembling back.
(*Right. I'm always like this.*)
Deep in my chest, I felt like my old self was laughing.
◆◆◆
After school.
Yui, with her eyes swollen from crying, still led me to the clubroom.
"There's something I really want you to see."
Fourth floor of the special building. The Service Club room.
When I opened the door, the western sun was streaming in, dyeing the room orange.
No one was there. Not in Yukino's usual spot, not in the seat where Yui was supposed to sit.
"...Today, this was in my shoe locker at school."
Yui took a single white envelope out of her bag.
The address was written in careful handwriting: "To Yuigahama Yui-sama." Flipping it over, the name "Yukinoshita Yukino."
"Can I open it?"
"I already read it. ...Hachiman, you read it too."
I broke the seal.
Inside was a single sheet of letter paper.
A short letter, just a few lines.
*'To Yuigahama-san,
Thank you for everything up until now.
I don't want to cause trouble for anyone anymore.
Please forget about me.
Yukinoshita Yukino'*
(*—"Please forget about me," huh.*)
The handwriting was perfectly composed.
As if she'd rewritten it over and over, and chosen the cleanest, most beautiful copy.
"It's not like you were ever a bother, you know."
Yui smiled through her tears.
"Yukinon's such an idiot. We never thought she was a bother. Why does she have to end it all by herself with just a 'sorry'?"
"...That's just how she is."
I folded the letter back into the envelope.
(*I don't want to cause trouble for anyone. Please forget about me.*)
Those two lines felt like they contained everything about Yukino.
She was converting all the time she'd spent with us into "trouble," blaming herself, and trying to carry it all and disappear.
Were the hands we'd reached out nothing but a burden to her?
"Hikki... Hachiman, you said you'd save Yukinon."
Yui pressed closer, her voice thick with tears.
"Was that a lie? I thought if it was you, Hachiman, you'd do something. We decided, the three of us, that we'd present Yukinon's novel at the cultural festival."
"Yuigahama."
"Give her back... give Yukinon back!"
Yui placed her hands against my chest.
A weak fist, with no strength behind it.
"Give her back, Hachiman... I wanted to be with Yukinon more. We haven't finished anything yet—not the cultural festival plans, not the rest of the novel..."
Yui finally broke down, crying out loud.
The clubroom echoed with nothing but the sound of her sobbing.
I couldn't say anything back.
"You're the one who said you'd save her."
That single sentence sank into the pit of my stomach like lead.
◆◆◆
After seeing Yui off at the school gate.
I pedaled home with a copy of Yukino's manuscript pressed against my chest.
The night before the cultural festival.
My six-tatami room.
Only the desk lamp illuminated the surface of my desk.
I opened the manuscript.
*'When I woke up in the morning, there was a small cat outside my window.'*
The story of Yukino's that the three of us had read that day.
I traced each character with my eyes.
(*If only I hadn't done something unnecessary.*)
I'd pushed back in the student council room.
At that moment, Yukino had been beside me, pale and trembling.
Her mother's pressure. The school's internal regulations. The sneering student council officers.
I was the one who'd brought Yukino into that situation.
I was the one who'd selfishly dreamed that "if we present it at the cultural festival, her family will acknowledge it."
(*I was the one who selfishly took it all on.*)
Yukino's dream.
Yukino's talent.
Yukino's future.
The things that Yukino herself had been closest to giving up on.
I'd butted in, dragged them out, and then destroyed them.
(*I never had the right to save anyone.*)
Memories from middle school slowly crawled out from the dark corners of the room.
The murmuring of the classroom.
Behind the school building during lunch break, with no one around.
"Hey, I... I like you—"
"Eh, what? Gross."
Laughter.
"Nobody wants your feelings."
It was the same back then.
Because I'd selfishly spoken my true feelings.
Kindness is nothing but self-satisfaction.
True feelings are weapons that hurt others.
(*She disappeared because you did something unnecessary.*)
A voice echoed in my head.
Because you got close to her.
Because you took her hand.
Because you selfishly put her dream on a pedestal.
Yukinoshita Yukino disappeared.
It's your fault.
"...Shut up."
My voice was hoarse.
It felt like a hole had opened up in the center of my chest.
Nothing came in.
Nothing went out.
Just a bottomless cold.
At that moment, my phone vibrated on the desk.
Yui's name on the screen.
I pressed the answer button.
"Hachiman..."
She was crying.
"Yukinon's phone... it's out of service."
"Out of service?"
"Yeah. My LINE messages won't show as read. Calls won't connect either. Maybe she turned her phone off."
"...I see."
(*Out of service. Phone turned off. All means of contact severed.*)
Yukino had cut off all connections to us with her own hands.
No more calls, no more messages, nothing would reach her.
She'd completely vanished.
"Hachiman, is Yukinon really going to leave school? Is she really going to be gone starting tomorrow?"
"...I don't know."
I was pathetic, unable to say anything else.
"I just don't know what to do anymore—"
Yui's voice trembled and broke off.
"Sorry, Yuigahama. I need to—"
"Hachiman?"
"I'll call you later."
I hung up.
Before I could regret it, my body was already moving.
◆◆◆
(*Inage Seaside Park.*)
The place Yukino often went to alone.
Yui had told me about it.
(*Is she still there, even now?*)
I checked the clock. It was past nine at night.
I bolted out of the house.
Ran down the stairs.
"Onii-chan, what's wrong?"
Komachi, who'd been in the living room, poked her head out with a surprised look.
"Going out for a bit."
"Eh, at this hour? The cultural festival's tomorrow, right?"
"...I'll be back soon."
I grabbed the front door key and dashed outside.
Straddled my bicycle.
Stomped on the pedals with all my strength.
I raced through the streets of Inage at full speed.
The smell of the tide grew stronger.
◆◆◆
Inage Seaside Park.
A seaside park facing Tokyo Bay. The sandy beach that bustled with families during the day took on a different face at night—nothing but the black sea and the white sound of waves.
I rode along the breakwater.
There were few streetlights, and the outlines of the scenery were blurred.
The wind was strong.
It whipped through my hair, roaring like tinnitus.
I slowed down and scanned my surroundings.
Shadows of the pine grove.
The water's edge.
Benches.
(*Where—*)
My heart was pounding.
My own breathing sounded unnaturally loud.
Then.
On the bench closest to the sea, along the shore.
There was a small figure.
Black hair.
A white dress.
Her long hair swayed softly in the sea breeze.
(*It's Yukinoshita.*)
"Yukinoshita."
I stopped my bike and called out.
Yukino flinched, her shoulders trembling, and turned around.
Her blue eyes widened in surprise.
"...Hik
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