My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU IF: Yukinoshita's Choice - Yukinoshita Yukino's true feelings

The sky visible from the school windows had been overcast for a long time now. Heavy clouds blanketed the Chiba sky completely. Would it rain soon? Or not? It was an ambiguous, half-hearted sky. I, Hikigaya Hachiman, was tilting a can of coffee on the usual rooftop. MAX Coffee—the soul drink of Chiba residents. The sickly-sweet condensed milk flavor clung to my tongue. (*...So it's been four days, huh.*) Four days had passed since Yukinoshita Yukino stopped coming to school. A lot had happened since that declaration in the clubroom. Yukino's older sister, Haruno-san, had caught me at the school gate. She'd asked me in the parking lot to "help bring Yukino back to school." I refused, but she'd shoved a paper into my chest pocket. That paper detailed how Yukino was being forced—not by her own will, but by her mother Shiori's coercion—to transfer to a boarding school in Switzerland. And that there was only one week left until the procedures were complete. Several days had passed since then. Yukino was still apparently shut up in her house. In the classroom, in the hallways, her figure had vanished, and only the noise of the school atmosphere flowed by, strangely loud. The voices of students excited about cultural festival preparations could be heard in the distance. I drained the MAX Coffee and crushed the empty can. (*Why am I even worrying about this?*) I understood in my head. I should just leave it alone. It was something she'd decided herself. But deep in my chest, something much deeper was stirring restlessly. When I'd parted with Yui in that parking lot, I'd even said, "I'll go to Yukino's house tomorrow." That I'd talk to her directly. And yet, I still hadn't crossed the threshold of the Yukinoshita household. I just needed to press the intercom. That's all. But when I thought about Yukino's house, my feet froze. The imposing gate of a distinguished family. The atmosphere of that house. The pressure called "mother." (*...That stings.*) The edge of the crushed can bit into my palm. ◆◆◆ After school. I slipped through the bustle of cultural festival preparations and walked down the hallway. Passing by the Class 2-F classroom, I could hear the sound of cardboard being cut from inside. I caught a glimpse of Yui desperately wrestling with a sheet of poster paper in profile. But I passed by without speaking to her. I headed toward the special building. Fourth floor, at the very end. The Service Club room. When I opened the door, the room was dark. The curtains were closed, and the air was stagnant. (*Right. Without Yukino here, no one even turns on the lights.*) I flipped the wall switch. The fluorescent light flickered noisily before turning on. On the desk, the tea set Yukino had left behind remained as it was. A faint tea stain lingered in the cup. I sat in my usual spot—the old wooden chair by the window. The dim light of evening filtered in from outside. (*What am I even thinking?*) The clubroom, with just me in it, felt hollow. ◆◆◆ I sat there blankly for a while. Then, from outside the door, I heard the sound of quick, light footsteps. "Hikki, you're here." The door opened, and Yuigahama Yui burst in. Fluffy brown hair. Big brown eyes. Just her entering this dim clubroom made the air feel a little brighter—she was the kind of person who carried that brightness with her. "What're you doing? Sitting here alone with a gloomy face." "The gloomy face is default. More importantly, what's up with you?" Over her casual clothes, there were paint stains here and there from cultural festival prep. In her hand, she held a folded piece of paper. Yui sat down in the seat across from me. The spot where Yukino always sat. "Hey, Hachiman." Her tone dropped slightly. The usual brightness had receded into the shadows. "I looked into Yukinon's situation." Saying that, she unfolded the paper in her hands. A small handwritten memo. Apparently, she'd compiled information she'd heard from classmates. "Yukinon, while she's been absent from school, she hasn't just been staying at home. Apparently, she sometimes comes to Inage Seaside Park in her mom's car." "Inage Seaside Park?" "Yeah. Probably alone. Someone said they saw her walking around the pine grove near the ocean. And, well, I also checked her phone's location..." Yui trailed off, her words muffled. "...Yukinon is probably there right now, too." I looked at the clock. 4:30 PM. Outside, the leaden sky had grown even heavier. "Please, Hachiman. I want you to go see her." Yui's big eyes looked straight at me. "I want to go too. But if I go, Yukinon might force herself to smile, or close herself off even more. ...She's, you know, despite how she looks, incredibly stubborn." "...Even if I go, it'll be the same." "No, it won't." Yui immediately shot back. "You don't try to awkwardly accommodate her. You don't wrap things up in pretty words. You say the unpleasant things head-on. With you, Yukinon might actually... say what she really feels, with her own mouth." "You're overestimating me." "I'm not. I've been watching all this time, so I know. You're twisted, Hachiman, but when you're around, somehow, it feels like you don't have to force yourself. Yukinon probably feels the same way." Yui's words felt like they were prickling at the shallow part of my chest. "...Like I'd know." I looked out the window. The distant sky held rain clouds, silently holding its breath. "Hachiman, please." Yui said it again. Her voice trembled slightly. "If we do nothing and Yukinon really goes somewhere far away... I'll regret it for the rest of my life." Yui's eyes were wet with tears. They hadn't spilled yet. But they looked ready to fall at any moment. (*...Shut up. Tears are cheating, damn it.*) My body moved before my head could think. I stood up from the chair. "Where." "Eh?" "Where in Inage Seaside Park." Yui's face lit up instantly. "Past the seaside promenade, through the pine grove. There's a bench there." "Got it." "Hachiman!" She called me back, and I stopped. When I turned, Yui was gripping both hands tightly in front of her chest. "...Please. Yukinon. Please." I gave a short nod and left the clubroom. ◆◆◆ Inage Seaside Park was about five kilometers southwest of Sobu High School. Tokyo Bay stretched out beneath the gray sky. I pedaled my bicycle out onto the seaside road. The wind was strong. The smell of the tide clung to my uniform shirt. The sky was full of clouds that looked ready to burst into tears at any moment. (*Hah... What am I doing?*) My legs pedaling felt heavier than usual. I parked my bicycle at the park entrance and started walking. The promenade through the pine grove was sparsely populated. I passed one family and an old man walking his dog. The pine branches rustled noisily in the sea breeze. When I emerged from the promenade, the view opened up. Sandy beach, and the waters of Tokyo Bay. On the opposite shore, the smokestacks of an industrial zone were faintly visible. And there, with her back to the sea, a single female student sat on a bench. Straight black hair reaching down to her waist. Deep blue eyes. It was Yukinoshita Yukino. She wasn't in her uniform—she wore a navy one-piece dress. It was the first time I'd seen Yukino in casual clothes. She sat on the bench, gazing at the sea. The wind gently swayed her long black hair. As I approached, she noticed my footsteps. She slowly turned toward me. Her blue eyes caught me. "—Hikigaya-kun." Her voice trembled slightly with surprise. ◆◆◆ "How did you know I was here?" Yukino's voice rode on the wind, sounding as if it came from somewhere slightly distant. "Yuigahama told me. ...That you apparently come here often." I said as I approached the bench. Yukino's eyebrows moved just slightly. "Don't come." It was a word of rejection. But there was no anger in her voice. Only bewilderment. "I want to be alone right now." "You've been alone for four days straight." I stopped. Three more steps to the bench. Yukino averted her eyes from me and looked back toward the sea. "...This has nothing to do with you." "Yeah. It doesn't." I took one step forward. "But since I came all the way here, I'm not leaving until I hear what you have to say." I walked over and slowly sat down on the edge of the bench. Keeping about a meter of distance from Yukino. She didn't look at me. But she didn't try to stand up, either. Only the sound of the tide flowed between us. Waves washed onto the sand and receded. That repeated several times. —Time passed slowly. ◆◆◆ "...What do you actually want to do?" I was the one who broke the silence. "Do you want to go to Switzerland? Do you want to quit school?" Yukino's fingertips twitched faintly on her lap. "...I already gave you my answer before. I chose this." "And you expect me to believe that?" "Yes." Yukino spoke quietly, still not looking at me. "I thought about it myself, and I decided myself. My mother only proposed it out of concern for my future. I accepted it. That's all there is to it." A lie. I knew it instinctively. No—not instinct. A more certain sensation. When she'd declared her withdrawal in that clubroom, she'd said the same kind of thing. "I decided this myself." Back then, too. And now, too. The tone she used when saying "I decided it myself" was, frighteningly precisely, the same tone. Like reading aloud from a textbook. Like she was just mouthing words someone else had decided for her. That's how it sounded. "...Riding in your mother's car to come all the way here—is that what you chose?" The wind from the sea lifted Yukino's black hair. "If you want to be alone, you could just stay home. But you're not allowed to, so you come to a place like this. Am I wrong?" I thought of myself as a thoroughly detestable person. But I couldn't stop. If I stopped my words here, it would become the same as that day in the clubroom. That's what I thought. "Are you really okay with this? Can you honestly say, with your chest held high, that you chose this yourself?" Yukino's shoulders trembled. "...You don't know anything." Her voice was shaking. "Don't say whatever you want when you don't know anything." Yukino looked at me for the first time. Her blue eyes blazed with anger. But even that sharp gaze, to me right now, looked painfully clear. "Then tell me. I'm asking because I don't know anything." I looked back into her eyes. "I want to hear it from your mouth." ◆◆◆ The sound of waves. The sound of wind. Within that, Yukino took a deep breath. "...I write novels." It was a small voice. But it didn't get lost in the wind. "Novels." "Yes. Writing stories. That's my dream." Yukino continued, gazing straight at the sea. "I've loved imagining things since I was a child. Reading books, wanting to write something myself. ...The first time I finished a story was in third grade. It was a one-page story about a cat." A breath. "There was someone I showed that story to. The person who let me read so many books. ...My grandmother." "Grandmother." "My grandmother on my mother's side. The person who taught me the joy of reading stories. ...She read the little story I wrote over and over, like it was a treasure. ...'Words will become your wings,' she told me." Yukino's voice became soft and quiet. "She never laughed at my dream. She was the only one who supported me. ...If only she had lived longer." "...She passed away?" "Three years ago." The sea breeze brushed against my cheek. "After my grandmother was gone, I never told anyone about my novels. ...Not a single person." "But Yuigahama knew. That you write novels." "...Yes. She happened to see my notebook. I was careless." Yukino's lips softened just a little. But the expression vanished immediately. "And also... my mother found out." The air seemed to change.

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Episode 3

Name: My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU IF: Yukinoshita's Choice
Author: Novelia

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