The Cursed Gender Swap: My Fiancées Are All Men?! The Assassin Noble Luge's Hellish Rom-Com
Rugh Touahade has a problem. Several, actually.
First: he's the heir to an assassin noble house, secretly handling the kingdom's dirty work while maintaining a polite public face. Second: he's been reincarnated from a past life as an organization's assassin, which honestly explains more about his personality than he'd like to admit. Third: as of this morning, every woman in his domain has turned into a man—including Dia, his childhood friend and magic teacher, who is currently sobbing on the fl
The Cursed Gender Swap: My Fiancées Are All Men?! The Assassin Noble Luge's Hellish Rom-Com - Brother, let's make money off this curse!
"Brother, over here!"
Rugh turned toward the voice and found a boy standing on the cobblestones of the royal capital's merchant district. Flaxen short bob. Amber eyes. Neatly groomed hair and hands immaculate to the fingertips. A small abacus and a ledger hung at his hip. The one waiting for Rugh Touahade at the entrance of the Tartu Trading Company headquarters was Maha Barol.
"...Maha. You too, huh."
"Yes, I've ended up in a man's body as well. But gender has nothing to do with business."
Maha smiled brightly. A sales smile. But behind those eyes lurked the same sharp glint of calculation as always. Even in a man's body, her business acumen hadn't dulled in the slightest.
"So what's this urgent message?"
"Let's talk inside. There are too many eyes out here."
Maha led Rugh into the Tartu Trading Company headquarters. The stone building was far noisier than usual. Employees whose sexes had been swapped were rushing about clutching documents. A female clerk turned male was serving customers still wearing the women's uniform.
"As you can see, our company is in chaos too. But chaos is opportunity. Brother, take a look at this."
Maha showed Rugh into the reception room and spread several sheets of paper across the desk. Sales forecasts, procurement plans, lists of prototype new products. Every one was densely filled with Maha's meticulous handwriting.
"Demand for cosmetics and clothing aimed at people who've swapped sexes has jumped more than tenfold in the past three days. Clothing and cosmetics shops across the capital are selling out one after another. We could triple our procurement costs and it would still sell."
Maha explained rapid-fire. Her amber eyes blazed whenever the topic turned to business.
"Brother, let's profit off this situation! We repurpose Orna's products for the gender-reversed demographic. Lotions for people whose skin type has changed, lipstick for men whose beards have thinned. And not just cosmetics. We can re-tailor men's underwear for people now in women's bodies, and conversely expand women's clothing for people now in men's bodies. The demand is limitless."
"...You can really think up all that in the middle of this chaos?"
"Of course. Merchants are creatures who turn a profit in any situation. Brother, this is a chance. People all over the kingdom are in trouble. Sell goods to people in trouble. There's no surer business than that."
Rugh sighed.
"...I see. It's become a hassle."
That was Rugh's catchphrase. The memories of his previous life—of when he'd lived as an assassin for an organization in a world called Earth—always surfaced in his mind like a mantra for staying calm.
"Maha, I heard the curse is disrupting distribution. What's the kingdom's economy actually like?"
"It's dire. Merchants who've swapped sexes are stalling their transactions. Signatures on contracts can't be verified, credit dealings have broken down, and longtime head clerks look like entirely different people. Distribution networks are severed, and food prices in the capital's markets have doubled. At this rate, the kingdom's economy will be paralyzed within a month."
Maha's voice turned suddenly serious. The sales smile vanished, replaced by the face of a sharp operator.
"But I'm turning this chaos into opportunity. Repurposing Orna's products for the gender-reversed demographic. I've already signed exclusive contracts with three wholesalers in the capital. Even at double procurement costs, sales won't stop. Brother, this is seriously profitable."
"...You really are a merchant through and through."
"I've been a merchant ever since you picked me up, brother. You're the one who taught me, aren't you? That helping people in trouble is the foundation of business."
Maha stared fixedly into Rugh's eyes. Even in a man's body, the affection and loyalty dwelling deep in those eyes hadn't changed in the least. No—if anything, becoming a man seemed to have made those feelings stronger, deeper, more intensely directed at Rugh.
"...Did I now."
"...Brother, I want to be useful to you. You'll need money to break the curse, won't you? Information, connections—plenty of things can be bought with money. Please, let me be your strength."
Maha's voice trembled just slightly. Behind the sales smile, another emotion seeped through. Affection for Rugh. Loyalty. And hidden beneath that, something hotter still.
"...Yeah. I'm counting on you."
Rugh placed his hand on Maha's head. The flaxen hair slipped smoothly between his fingers.
"...Brother?"
"Your drive has always been a help to me. This time too—let me lean on you."
Maha's mouth fell open. Then she broke into a soft, melty smile. Not a sales smile—her real one.
"...Yes, brother."
——
That night, Rugh gathered Dia, Tart, and Maha in a room of the Touahade estate.
Firelight flickered in the stone chamber. Outside the window, the summer night wind swept across the wheat fields. Insects chirped in the distance.
"All three of you. There's something I need to tell you."
Rugh laid a single letter on the desk. The one from the goddess.
"The goddess's letter had the conditions for breaking the curse written in it."
"Conditions for breaking it?"
Dia leaned forward. Her long silver hair spilled over the shoulder of her male body. Her violet eyes held a serious light.
"Yeah. It said, 'Make a confession of true love.' And the target of that confession is—"
Rugh paused for a beat.
"Me. Apparently the curse won't break unless it's a confession to me."
The room went dead silent. A log in the fireplace popped with a crack.
"...A confession of love, to Master."
Tart repeated in a small voice. Even in a man's body, her polite speech and loyalty hadn't faltered. Chestnut hair tied back, light brown eyes fixed on Rugh.
"A confession to brother... so that means if one of us confesses to you sincerely, the curse will break?"
"In theory. But 'true love' is the tricky part. Simple fondness or affection probably won't be enough."
"...Would I not be enough?"
Dia murmured, her voice barely audible.
"...Huh?"
"Can't I be the one to break your curse, Rugh? I'm your master, your big sister... and yet I want to be more than that."
Dia hung her head. In her male body, her shoulders trembled. The feminine gestures looked so out of place against the male form that it was all the more painful to watch.
"Master, please see me as a woman."
Tart fixed Rugh with a serious gaze. Even in a man's body, deep in those eyes burned a fierce devotion to Rugh.
"I am your personal maid, Master. I can do anything for your sake. Even if this body became a man's, my heart is still a woman's. Master—please see me as a woman."
"Brother, this is a business opportunity!"
Maha said with her sales smile.
"If a love confession breaks the curse, then we just commodify the confession. Put up a sign—'True Love Confessions, Accepted'—and requests will pour in from all over the country. Of course, I'll be monopolizing the confessions to you, brother."
Maha was laughing. But behind that smile, another emotion seeped through. Affection for Rugh. Loyalty. And hidden beneath it, something desperate.
"...Are you three serious?"
Rugh looked at each of their faces in turn. Dia's sorrowful eyes. Tart's earnest gaze. The heat behind Maha's smile.
"I'm serious. I love you, Rugh. I've loved you for a very long time."
Dia said it clearly.
"I love you too, Master. These feelings aren't because of the curse. I've adored you for a long time, Master."
Tart said it clearly as well.
"I love you too, brother. If not for you, I'd have died long ago. My feelings for you won't lose to anyone's."
Maha too cast aside her sales smile and spoke her true feelings.
Rugh was at a loss for words. The weight of three people's feelings pressed down on him. Far too heavy—he had no idea how to respond.
"...Huh? I don't get it."
Rugh was visibly rattled. When it came to matters of romance, he became hopelessly clumsy. His mind went blank and no words came out.
"Rugh, I'm serious. I'll confess right here, right now. Rugh, I—"
Dia mustered her courage and tried to confess. In that instant—
—Bang, bang, bang!
Someone pounded violently on the estate's front door.
"What now?"
"Master, I'll go see."
Tart stood and moved to leave the room. But before she could, the front door was forced open.
"I'm coming in! I am Rodney Heim, professor of the Royal Academy of Magic, Arcadia! Is Dia Vicone here?!"
A low, intimidating voice echoed through the estate.
Rugh bolted from the room. Dia, Tart, and Maha followed.
Three men stood in the entryway. All wore the professorial robes of the Royal Academy of Magic. The man at the front had gray hair slicked back and silver-rimmed glasses—every inch the scholar. Rodney Heim. A professor renowned as an authority on astromancy magic.
"Dia Vicone, by order of the Academy, you are to be placed under protection. You will be taken into the Academy's custody as the primary research subject of the gender-disruption curse."
"By what right do you—"
Rugh stepped in front of Dia.
"Right? The natural right of protecting the nation's security. This curse has thrown the entire kingdom into chaos. To elucidate its cause, we must thoroughly study the body most strongly affected by it—yours."
"Dia is not a research specimen."
"You have no right to refuse. This is a decision by the Academy's upper echelon. The Astromancy Council has approved it as well. Defy us, and I'll have you detained for treason against the state."
The professor stepped forward. The two behind him glared at Rugh in a show of intimidation.
"Master, I will protect you."
Tart drew a spear from beneath her skirt. Even in a man's body, the habit of carrying weapons under her skirt hadn't died.
"Oh? The Touahade family's maid. I've heard the rumors. But do you understand what it means to make an enemy of the Academy?"
"My master's enemy is my enemy."
Tart didn't back down an inch.
"Brother, I'll fight too."
Maha tucked her ledger into her breast pocket and dropped into a combat stance.
"Fools. Defy the Academy's authority and I'll crush your house and your trading company—all of it."
The professor's voice was ice.
"...Stop, everyone."
Dia spoke quietly.
"If I go, I won't cause trouble for Rugh. If I cooperate with the Academy's research, it might help unravel the curse. If that's the case, then I'm the one who should go."
"Dia, what are you saying—"
"Rugh, thank you. For trying to protect me. But this is my problem. I'll decide it myself."
Dia took Rugh's hand. A man's hand. But the warmth of it was the same as ever.
"Rugh, let me hear your answer to my confession next time. I promise—I will break your curse, no matter what."
With that, Dia walked toward the professors.
"Wise of you. Then we'll be taking her."
The professors flanked Dia on both sides.
"...Dia!"
Rugh shouted. But his body wouldn't move. The pressure backed by the Academy's authority. The professors' magical power. And above all, Dia's own will. All of it pinned Rugh's feet to the floor.
"Rugh, it's all right. I'm your master, after all. If my disciple has to worry about me, I'm a failure as a big sister."
Dia turned back and smiled. When she smiled, dimples appeared. Even in a man's body, that smile was the gentle one Rugh had known since childhood.
—Dia was taken away by the professors.
Rugh, Tart, and Maha were left behind in the entryway.
Silence.
Only the distant crackle of the fireplace could be heard.
"...Damn it."
Rugh slammed his fist against the wall. A dull thud. The skin of his knuckles split and blood seeped out.
"Master, your hand... you're hurt."
"I couldn't do a thing. I couldn't protect Dia."
Rugh pressed his forehead against the wall. His body trembled with rage and helplessness.
"Master, let us take Lady Dia back."
Tart said forcefully.
"Even if the Academy is our opponent, I am on your side, Ma
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