Behind the Clow Cards: Tomoyo Daidouji's Secret Filming Diary
Tomoyo Daidouji has spent countless hours behind her camera, capturing every moment of her beloved best friend Sakura's battles as Cardcaptor—the flutter of her battle costumes, the determined light in her eyes, every fall and every triumphant sealing. With no magic of her own, filming is the one way she can stand at Sakura's side. But when Tomoyo reviews the day's footage, she notices something that shouldn't be there: a small, blurry shadow lurking at the edge of every sealing scene, always wa
Behind the Clow Cards: Tomoyo Daidouji's Secret Filming Diary - Filming Room Tears — The Eraser and the Night of Despair
The progress bar on the recovery software had stopped again.
The words on the screen hadn't changed, no matter how many times she looked.
"Unable to read data."
Tomoyo tightened her grip on the mouse, just slightly. Her fingertips were trembling. The footage destroyed by the shadow last night—records packed with memories of Sakura. She'd been trying to recover them since morning.
(Please. Come back to me.)
She prayed silently and pressed the recovery button once more.
Click.
A small electronic sound. The screen went dark for an instant. Then the same words surfaced again.
"Unable to read data."
"...Oh my."
Tomoyo murmured softly.
(No matter how many times I try, it's the same.)
A coldness spread through her chest. It felt like something precious was slipping through her fingers, scattering away like sand.
The filming room was sealed behind thick blackout curtains, wrapped in silence. Only the pale blue glow of the monitor lit Tomoyo's profile. On the desk, several video cameras and cables lay tangled together in a complicated mess. On shelves covering an entire wall, countless storage media holding years of recorded footage stood in neat rows.
Some of them would never play again.
Tomoyo drew a deep breath and let it out slowly.
(The footage of the eraser from third grade. Sakura's first battle costume. That smile after school.)
Every one of them was an irreplaceable treasure to Tomoyo.
In the footage, Sakura was laughing. Innocently, bright as the sun. Tomoyo had watched that smile over and over. In painful times, in sad times—as long as she had Sakura's smile, she could keep going.
(That smile...)
Tomoyo bit her lip.
(My memories with Sakura... gone.)
Her eyes grew hot. Her vision blurred.
Tomoyo hurriedly rubbed her eyes.
(No. I mustn't cry.)
(This is the path I chose. This is what I started, to protect Sakura.)
(So I mustn't cry.)
She told herself that. But the tears wouldn't stop.
Drip.
A single tear fell onto the keyboard.
(Ah...)
Tomoyo gently wiped the drop away with her finger.
(I've gone and cried.)
To think she was such a fragile person. Tomoyo felt a little exasperated with herself.
She had filmed Sakura's battles countless times. The strange phenomena the card spirits caused. There had been dangerous moments, too. And yet Tomoyo had never once cried.
(Sakura is doing her best. This is no time for me to be crying.)
That was what she'd always told herself.
But now—
Now that she'd lost Sakura's footage—
Her own helplessness cut into her.
(I have no magic.)
(I can't fight.)
(I can't protect Sakura.)
(All I can do is film—and now even that...)
Tomoyo clenched the hem of her skirt.
(What am I supposed to do?)
No answer came.
---
Morning light brightened the slopes of Tomoeda.
Not a cloud in the blue sky. The air was a little chilly, and the breeze against her cheeks felt pleasant.
Tomoyo was heading to Tomoeda Elementary as always, together with Sakura.
Sakura glided along beside her on rollerblades, looking happy. As full of energy as ever.
"Hey, hey, Tomoyo! What do you think's for lunch today?"
Sakura spoke in a bouncing voice.
"Oh, Sakura. The lunch menu is written on the notice handed out every Friday. Today I believe it's curry rice—your favorite."
Tomoyo looked at Sakura's face and smiled.
(Sakura is the same as always. I mustn't make her worry.)
She kept her usual smile in mind as she thought it.
"Really!? Yay! I love curry!"
Sakura hopped with delight.
"Oh my, if you're that happy, it makes me happy too."
Seeing Sakura's smile warmed Tomoyo's chest, just a little.
(Sakura's smile really is wonderful.)
(I want to protect that smile.)
(For that, I have to pull myself together.)
Tomoyo softly touched the eraser in her pocket.
(It's all right. I have this.)
(The precious treasure Sakura gave me.)
The feel of the eraser calmed her heart, if only slightly.
Then it happened.
"...Tomoyo."
Sakura suddenly stopped her rollerblades.
"Haven't you been filming a little less lately?"
Sakura stared at Tomoyo's face.
Her big emerald-green eyes wavered with worry.
"I love watching the videos you take, Tomoyo. ...If something's wrong, tell me, okay?"
Sakura smiled a lonely smile.
The moment Tomoyo saw that smile, her chest felt like it would tear apart.
(Sakura...)
(No, it's not that. You've done nothing wrong.)
(The one at fault is me—all of it.)
(I'm the one making you worry.)
(I'm the one clouding your smile.)
Tomoyo quickly put on a smile.
"Th-that's not true at all. It's just... editing has been taking a little time."
(Forgive me, Sakura.)
(I'm lying to you.)
(But if I told you the truth, you'd only worry more.)
(So this is better.)
"I'm sorry for worrying you. But I'm fine. Please let me film lots more, all right?"
Tomoyo said it with the best smile she could manage.
Sakura gazed at Tomoyo's face for a while.
Then her expression softened back into her usual smile.
"Okay! Promise! I'm always looking forward to the videos you take, Tomoyo!"
"Yes, of course. I won't miss a single second of your gallant figure, Sakura."
Tomoyo smiled back at Sakura.
But inside, her heart was a storm.
(Sakura, I'm sorry.)
(I only want to protect you.)
(And yet wanting to protect you is hurting you.)
(My smile must have looked terribly stiff.)
Tomoyo touched her own cheek.
(Am I smiling? Am I really smiling properly?)
She knew her smile was horribly awkward.
---
After school.
Tomoyo was getting ready to leave in the classroom.
The setting sun streamed through the windows, dyeing the room orange.
"Daidouji."
The one who called out to her was Ri Shaoran.
His short black hair gleamed in the sunset. His amber eyes held a serious light.
"Listen... I still haven't given up on confessing to Sakura. Could you hear me out again?"
Shaoran looked straight into Tomoyo's eyes.
That earnest expression struck her heart.
(Shaoran cares for Sakura this deeply.)
(I want to answer those feelings. I want to help.)
(But...)
Tomoyo looked down at her own hands.
(Right now I'm not worthy of that.)
(I can't even manage my own troubles.)
(How could I advise Sakura on her love life?)
"Right now... I don't have the confidence to be of help to Sakura. I'm sorry."
Tomoyo said it without looking at Shaoran's face.
Shaoran was silent for a moment.
Then he let out a small sigh.
"...I see."
His voice sounded downcast.
Tomoyo's chest ached.
(Because of me, I've made even Shaoran sad.)
(I really am useless.)
"But if something's wrong, tell me. You've been looking pale lately."
Shaoran said it awkwardly.
Tomoyo looked up in surprise.
Shaoran had averted his gaze slightly, looking embarrassed.
(Shaoran...)
(Even at a time like this, you worry about me.)
Warmth spread gently through Tomoyo's chest.
"Thank you. But I'm all right."
Tomoyo smiled at Shaoran.
(The truth is, I'm not all right.)
(But I can't make him worry.)
(Shaoran must have his hands full with thoughts of Sakura.)
(I can't burden him with needless worry.)
Shaoran stared at Tomoyo's face.
Then he opened his mouth as if to say something, but in the end said nothing and turned to leave.
Tomoyo watched his retreating figure.
(Forgive me, Shaoran.)
(You came to me for advice, and I couldn't help at all.)
The shame of failing to answer his earnest feelings pressed heavily on Tomoyo's heart.
---
After returning home.
Tomoyo was back in her room at the Daidouji mansion.
The vast house was dead silent. Her mother, Sonomi, was away on a business trip overseas. The servants had all returned to their posts.
Tomoyo sat at her desk and picked up her smartphone.
A message from Kinomoto Touya was waiting on the screen.
"Hey, you okay? If something's wrong, tell me."
Tomoyo stared at the words for a while.
(Touya...)
(You always look out for me.)
(Sakura's older brother, and my cousin.)
(Clumsy, but so kind.)
Tomoyo slowly typed a reply.
"Thank you, Touya. But... this is something I must resolve myself."
She pressed send.
(This is for the best.)
(I can't cause trouble for Touya.)
(This is something I started. I have to finish it.)
After a while, her smartphone buzzed again.
A reply from Touya.
"You've got a habit of carrying everything alone. Sakura was worried too."
Tomoyo gripped her smartphone tightly.
(Touya...)
(Sakura too...)
(I do nothing but make everyone worry.)
(I want to confide in someone.)
(All of this painful feeling.)
(But I can't.)
(If I told them, I'd drag them all into danger.)
(That shadow is after me.)
(It's trying to make me stop filming.)
(If I told anyone, they might end up in danger too.)
(So I have no choice but to bear it alone.)
Tomoyo set the smartphone down on the desk.
"I do nothing but worry Touya and Sakura..."
Tomoyo murmured softly.
Her voice dissolved into the quiet room.
---
That night.
Tomoyo shut herself in the filming room.
She was making one last attempt to recover the corrupted data, staking her final hope on it.
The monitor displayed those words again.
"Unable to read data."
"...It really is no use, isn't it."
Tomoyo let out a deep sigh.
(There's nothing more to be done.)
(That footage is completely lost.)
(Another of my treasures has vanished.)
Tomoyo leaned deep into the back of her chair.
She looked up at the ceiling. The room, sealed behind blackout curtains, felt like night even in daytime.
(I've lost everything.)
(The footage, my confidence, and...)
(My power to protect Sakura.)
Then it happened.
The air turned cold.
A chill ran across her skin, raising goosebumps.
Tomoyo gasped and lifted her head.
(This feeling...)
(No...)
She turned around slowly.
It was there.
That small shadow.
A black shadow about the size of a cat.
Its outline was blurred, its shape indistinct.
It stood in the corner of the filming room.
"Ah..."
Tomoyo let out a voiceless sound.
The shadow slowly approached her.
"Your very existence distorts Sakura's shadow."
A low, whispering voice.
It didn't shake the air—it seemed to resonate directly inside Tomoyo's head.
"Because you film, Sakura is exposed to danger. Disappear."
"No... that's wrong! I only want to protect Sakura!"
Tomoyo cried out.
"Protect? What can you do? No magic, no power—just an ordinary human."
The shadow's words pierced Tomoyo's chest.
"Your filming is not Sakura's record. It is the chain that binds her. Because you record her, Sakura is bound to that image."
"That's... that can't be..."
Tomoyo shook her head.
"Admit it. Your existence distorts Sakura. Because you are here, Sakura is exposed to danger."
The shadow closed in until it was right before Tomoyo.
Then it reached a black, hand-like thing toward the monitor.
"Stop... please... anything but that..."
Tomoyo cried out desperately.
On the monitor was the recovery software's screen. Behind it, there was one video that had barely managed to load.
Footage from third grade.
Sakura, who had just transferred in.
A slightly nervous face.
But her eyes were straight ahead and shining.
"Nice to meet you! I'm Kinomoto Sakura!"
Sakura's voice from inside the footage.
And that smile from when Tomoyo borrowed an eraser.
"Here, you can have it!"
Sakura, laughing innocently.
In that instant, the shadow crumbled it to sand with a single fingertip.
The monitor screen turned to static.
"Stop... please... anything but that..."
Tomoyo collapsed to the floor.
All the strength drained from her.
The tears overflowed without end.
"If you stop filming, both you and Sakura will be saved."
Leaving those words behind, the shadow dissolved into the air and vanished.
Silence returned to the filming room.
Tomoyo sat there for a while.
---
How long had she been like that?
Tomoyo slowly lifted her head.
The remnants of the destroyed data lay scattered on the floor.
The monitor still showed static.
With trembling hands, Tomoyo gathered the fragments of the storage media scattered across th
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