The only sound echoing through the shrine grounds was the scrape of a bamboo broom against gravel. A steady rhythm. *Shh, shh.* The clamor of Akihabara didn't reach this far. Five-thirty in the morning. There was no one else in the precincts of Yanabayashi Shrine but me. I am Urushibara Ruka. The son of this shrine — and also its shrine maiden. A white kosode, a scarlet hakama. My smooth black hair tied back in a single tail, I sweep the grounds again today. My large, dewy brown eyes, cast slightly downward, reflected my own face in a puddle. My long lashes trembled. (*...Sighing again.*) Before I even realized it, the breath had slipped out. I don't dislike sweeping the shrine grounds. If anything, I'm rather fond of it. No one bothers me, and I can just empty my mind. But the harder I try to empty it, the more it fills with unnecessary thoughts. About myself, for instance. I am a man. My body is, without question, male. That's what my family register says, too. But my heart is different. For as long as I can remember, I've always felt that I was a girl. I loved playing with dolls, I longed for pink clothes, and I was afraid of the boys' rough games. As I grew, that gap only widened. I was afraid of my voice deepening. I was afraid of my build filling out. The things the boys around me could do so naturally — I couldn't do any of them. Once, back in middle school, something made me incredibly happy. I was sweeping the shrine grounds in my miko attire when an elderly woman, the first visitor of the day, spoke to me. "[gentle]My, what a beautiful shrine maiden you are." In that moment, my heart truly felt full to bursting. I felt seen. I felt, for the first time, that the gender of my soul had been affirmed. But — immediately, I was crushed by guilt. I'm lying. I'm deceiving her. No. This body is a fake. From the next day on, I became afraid of seeing that woman's face. I couldn't say thank you, and I couldn't say *I'm actually a boy*. I just kept bowing, as if fleeing. Ever since then, I've always been apologizing. *I'm sorry, you have the wrong person. I'm sorry, I never meant to deceive you. I'm sorry, for having a body like this. I'm sorry, for dressing like a girl.* I had no confidence in myself. I felt inferior to everyone. Only one person changed that for me. Okabe Rintarou. Okarin. He alone accepted me, without question, as simply "the way things are." He called me, someone with no special powers, his "precious asset." He made me Lab Member No.006 of the Future Gadget Lab. "[laughing]Urushibara Ruka! Beautiful again today, I see! My eyes, the eyes of Hououin Kyouma, were not mistaken!" Startled by the sudden loud voice, I looked up. Before I knew it, Okabe had appeared from beyond the torii gate. Tall, his lab coat fluttering, striking a painfully dramatic pose. It was a complete ambush. "[scared]Oh, Okabe... Good morning." Still gripping the broom, I bowed my head. My heart was pounding so hard I couldn't get the words out properly. But he didn't mind at all. "[excited]Ah, my warrior! Your beauty is a kind of lethal weapon today as well! A sophisticated diversionary tactic, no doubt, to draw attention away from the Organization's conspiracy!" He's probably complimenting me. But honestly, I have no idea what he's talking about anymore. All that comes through is that he's looking straight at me, and smiling. "[serious]Okabe... I'm not... a warrior or anything. I don't have any power..." "[angry]You fool! I'm telling you, your very existence is our greatest asset! You are Lab Member No.006, Urushibara Ruka! No matter what anyone says, you are my comrade, and I am proud of you!" *A comrade he's proud of.* The words pierced my chest, then slowly spread. Warmth. But at the same time, pain. (*Is it really okay for someone like me to stand beside him?*) Okabe is the leader of the Future Gadget Lab. He makes incredible inventions on the second floor of that mixed-use building in Akihabara, Suimei Manor. A place where geniuses like Kurisu and super-hackers like Daru gather. Even though there's nothing I can do. "[excited]Prepare to be amazed, Ruka! At the Future Gadget Lab, a new history is about to unfold! The Phone Microwave (tentative name) — it is no mere microwave oven. It is a door of destiny, governing the very causality of the world!" The Phone Microwave is that strange machine in the middle of the lab. A microwave with a cell phone attached to it, which Okabe is always using for weird experiments. But today, he seems more excited than usual. His eyes are intensely serious. "[serious]Will you come to the lab tomorrow? There's something I absolutely must show you." Something he wants to show me. Me? "[sad]I... wouldn't I just be in the way if someone like me came?" "[cold]That cowardice is tantamount to desertion in the face of the enemy. You are my lab member. When I tell you to come, you come." His voice held a hint of anger. But that absurd command — *when I tell you to come, you come* — made me happy. "[gentle]...Yes. I understand. I'll come." Okabe nodded, satisfied, and turned on his heel, his lab coat flaring. He strode back down the approach. It seemed less like he'd come to pray at the shrine, and more like he'd come just to see me. — Ah. I love this person. There was no special reason. He was simply the first person in the world to see me for who I really am. That alone was enough. But the stronger my feelings grow, the heavier my "secret" becomes. What does he think of my body? Does he see me as a romantic interest? Or — am I nothing more than an "asset" to him? A breeze blew, and the giant ginkgo tree in the shrine grounds rustled noisily. Its deep green summer leaves glittered in the morning sun. Two hundred years old. This tree has stood here all that time, watching over people's feelings, I suppose. I stopped moving the broom and walked over to the plum tree. This was where I first met Okabe, too. Half a year ago, in spring. He suddenly appeared at the shrine and shouted, "I'm being pursued by the Organization! Hide me!" Startled, I hid him in the shrine office without asking any questions. It turned out later to be a misunderstanding — or rather, one of his delusions. But that was when he said it. "[serious]You're interesting. Come to my lab." It was the first time in my life anyone had called me interesting. After that, I started going to the lab. The Future Gadget Lab is about a fifteen-minute walk from here. It's in an old mixed-use building, down an alley off Akihabara's main street. The first floor is a TV repair shop called CRT Workshop, and the lab is in a cramped room on the second floor. The room is always messy, smelling of electronic components, and the fridge is packed solid with the Dr Pepper that Okabe hoards. Mayuri is always smiling, Daru is always muttering at his computer, and Kurisu is always reading a book with a difficult expression on her face. That's the only place I belong. I'll go tomorrow. Okabe told me to come, so I'll go. My resolve firm, I resumed sweeping. --- Evening. As I was preparing to close the gates, I noticed something lying on the white gravel beside the approach. I walked over and picked it up. A scrap of paper. A rough, torn piece, like it had been ripped from a notebook. On it, in familiar, hasty handwriting, were the words: "D-Mail Experiment Log" "Transmission Successful" "Past Alteration" Past... alteration. My breath stopped. This is Okabe's handwriting. He must have dropped it when he turned around here earlier. But what does this mean? D-Mail. If I remember right, that's the experiment where they send emails to the past using the Phone Microwave. But don't tell me it actually succeeded? The past... was changed? Come to think of it, I've felt a strange sense of dissonance lately. A shop that was definitely there yesterday is a different shop today. Little catches like that. As if the world is being overwritten, again and again. I don't know anything. Okabe is always spouting incomprehensible things about "top-secret missions" and "the Organization's conspiracy," and he never tells me anything important. Even though I'm a lab member. He called me a precious asset. But in the end, maybe I'm not being told anything at all. Maybe I'm just... a decoration. Anxiety and anticipation tangled together messily in my heart. Tomorrow, I'll go to the lab and see him. That makes me so happy. But the ominous words on this scrap of paper lodged themselves in my chest like a tiny thorn. I quietly tucked the torn notebook page into the sleeve of my miko attire. The sky above the shrine grounds was dyed crimson by the sunset. From far away, the bustle of Akihabara sounded like the roar of the sea.