I gently replaced the cold towel. Okabe-san's forehead was still burning. After three days and three nights of being wracked by high fever, his body couldn't possibly recover with just a brief nap. Kneeling on the floor, I gazed at his sleeping face. *(He's gotten thinner.)* The thought came to me unconsciously. He was always so full of confidence, a person who shone with fierce intensity. But now, like a broken piece of glasswork, he seemed so fragile, so precarious. "Mayuri..." A hoarse voice leaked from his dry lips. Okabe-san's eyebrows twisted in what looked like pain. *(He's dreaming about Mayuri-san again.)* Deep in my chest, a wound I thought had long been closed began to throb with a dull ache. Okabe-san's heart was entirely directed toward Mayuri-san. There had never been any room for me to slip in, not from the very beginning. *(I know that. I know it.)* And yet. "...I'm glad you're here." For an instant, my heart stopped. Okabe-san was still asleep. It was just a murmur in his sleep. But that single phrase drove into my chest like a burning stake. *(What did he just say?)* Tears welled up, blurring my vision. I was happy, but it hurt. I wanted to stay here forever, but I couldn't go on like this. The terrifying possibility I had considered on the rooftop last night. What if I had never existed from the start? *(If that would let Okabe-san smile...)* I no longer hesitated. The decision settled quietly, yet unmistakably, into the center of my heart. —— As the second dawn began to paint the lab windows white, Kurisu-san returned from the small adjoining room. Her face, after a brief nap, was still utterly exhausted, the dark circles under her eyes painfully visible. "[gentle]...Were you able to sleep?" She crouched down beside me and peered at Okabe-san's condition. "[whispers]...Yes. Okabe-san has been sleeping the whole time." As I spoke, I realized how strangely calm my own voice sounded. Kurisu-san stared intently at my face. Her violet eyes narrowed, as if searching for something. "[serious]Did something happen?" *As expected of her*, I thought. "[serious]...Makise-san." I turned my back to Okabe-san and faced her directly. "[serious]When morning comes, I have something to discuss with you." She must have sensed that the tone of my voice was different from usual. After a moment of silence, Kurisu-san gave a single, small nod. —— Outside the lab, in the dim hallway. The paint on the walls was peeling, and the old wooden floor creaked with every step. We closed the lab door firmly and moved deeper into the hallway so no one would overhear. "[serious]So, what did you want to talk about?" Kurisu-san folded her arms and leaned against the wall. Under the unreliable electric light, her long reddish-brown hair floated up hazily. I clasped my hands tightly in front of my chest. My heart was pounding loudly. "[whispers]I've come to ask you a favor, Makise-san." I spoke carefully, word by word, so my voice wouldn't tremble. "I want to send a D-Mail." Kurisu-san's eyes widened slightly. "To a time before I was born. A D-Mail to erase my existence from the very beginning." A moment of silence. "—No." It was an immediate answer. A voice that cut through my words like a blade. "[angry]What are you saying?! There's no way I could allow something like that!" She pushed off the wall and closed in on me. "[angry]In the first place, even if you send a D-Mail like that, there's no guarantee the world line will change! The causal laws could get twisted, and things could end up even worse—" She tried to overwhelm my words with theory and reason, speaking in a rapid torrent. It was a sound argument. Completely correct. I hung my head and listened in silence. "[angry]Besides, even if you disappear, there's zero proof that Okabe will be saved! Something like that, not even a gamble—" "[gentle]Even so." When I looked up, Kurisu-san's words stopped abruptly. "Even so, it's fine." My voice was so quiet it surprised even me. A voice like a calm sea, having swallowed all anger, fear, and sadness. "If I can reduce Okabe-san's suffering by even a single gram. If I can bring us even a little closer to a world where Mayuri-san can smile. Then, I'll be happy with that." Kurisu-san's violet eyes wavered violently. "[angry]...What is that?" "[sad]You... are you serious...?" Her voice was trembling. "[sad]You've never even told Okabe you love him, have you? To disappear without even telling him, that's just...!" "[gentle]If I told him, it would trouble Okabe-san." I said it quietly. "If I confessed my feelings, Okabe-san would surely try to accept them. I would cause him trouble. Because all I ever wanted was for him to smile." It wasn't an excuse, nor was it bravado. It was the truest, deepest feeling from the very bottom of my heart. Kurisu-san's face crumpled. "[crying]...You idiot." She covered her face with both hands. "[crying]Are you stupid...?!" Through the gaps in her fingers, tears fell, plip-plop, onto the old hallway floor. It was the moment when she, a genius of logic, cast off her armor of reason for the first time and broke down crying purely from emotion. "[crying]What do you mean, 'I'll be happy with that'...?! No one will be happy if you disappear...!" Her tears seemed to affirm my resolve more powerfully than anything else could. *Thank you*, I thought, from the bottom of my heart. There was someone other than Okabe-san who would cry this much for me. After a while, Kurisu-san, whose shoulders had been shaking, roughly wiped her tears with the back of her hand. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying, her usual cool beauty completely ruined. But I thought, from the bottom of my heart, that she was many times, dozens of times more beautiful right now. "[sad]...I'll help." She sniffled and forced the words out. "[sad]I'll help too. ...With your stupid plan." "...Makise-san." "[sad]I can't let Okabe carry any more of this burden alone. ...And besides." Through her tear-streaked face, she suddenly smiled. It was a very, very sad smile. —— Early afternoon. The center of the lab. We stood before the Phone Microwave—a bizarre device that was nothing more than a microwave oven and a cell phone crudely connected together. Daru-san, Mayuri-san, and Okabe-san were asleep. It was a completely secret operation. Kurisu-san had regained her composure entirely and began configuring the Phone Microwave with practiced hands. "[serious]The destination is your mother's cell phone number from seventeen years ago, correct?" "[whispers]...Yes." "[serious]The maximum message length is 36 bytes. That's 36 characters in half-width, or only 18 in full-width. Within that limit, we must convey the instruction 'Don't get pregnant' without any ambiguity." She spoke matter-of-factly, as if reading out an experimental protocol. But at the edges of her voice, fragments of her earlier tears still lingered. "[serious]...I love Okabe too." Suddenly, without looking away from the Phone Microwave, she murmured those words. My hands stopped for just a moment. "[gentle]...I knew." When I answered, she looked up for the first time, a slightly surprised expression on her face. "[surprised]...Is that so." "[gentle]Yes. Because you, Makise-san, are someone who can stand beside Okabe-san. ...I can't stand beside him, but maybe I can protect him." "[serious]That's not giving up." She looked straight at me. I thought for a moment, then shook my head. "[gentle]It's not giving up. ...I think it's just my own way of loving him." Kurisu-san opened her mouth as if to say something, but in the end, she said nothing. She just dropped her gaze back to the settings panel. After that, we continued our work in silence. It was a strange sense of solidarity. We were rivals in love, sharing feelings for the same person. But now, we were just two accomplices, working together in secret for the same goal. —— Evening. "...Ruka?" A hoarse voice came from the corner of the room. My heart jumped with a start. Looking at the sofa, I saw Okabe-san with his eyes open just a sliver. His eyes were unfocused and hazy from the high fever. "[whispers]Okabe-san...!" I rushed to his bedside. "...You were here." I felt like the corners of his mouth relaxed just a little. "[excited]Yes! I've been here the whole time. Right by your side." "...Don't you need to go home?" "[gentle]I don't want to go home today." When I said that, Okabe-san didn't say anything more. He just closed his eyes again quietly, as if relieved. "...I see." That was all. But that alone was enough. *(Okabe-san properly recognized me.)* He called my name. That made me happier than anything. This might be the last warmth I would ever feel. Thinking that, my chest ached as if it were about to burst. —— Late at night. When the city's bustle had fallen completely asleep. The Phone Microwave's configuration was fully complete. The destination: my mother's cell phone from seventeen years ago. The message: Kurisu-san had compressed it to the very limit of the 36-byte restriction. Just a single line—that alone was the incantation that would erase my existence from the world. "...It's ready." Kurisu-san said it with a trembling voice. Her finger hesitated over the send button. She looked up as if steeling herself for something, and stared straight at me with bloodshot eyes. "[scared]I'll ask you one last time." Her voice was hoarse. "[scared]Even if you vanish completely from Okabe's memories. Are you still truly okay with that?" I was staring at the cold LCD screen of the Phone Microwave. `SEND → 090-XXXX-XXXX` `MSG: Don't get pregnant` With a single finger, the world would change. To a world where Okabe-san might be able to smile. But in that world, I wouldn't exist. Okabe-san would never have known me, not from the start. That summer day when I opened the door to the Future Gadget Lab. Walking together down Akihabara's main street. Drinking the Doctor Pepper we bought at the convenience store, thinking it tasted a little bitter. Clinging to his trembling back as he cried out in anguish. All of it, all of it, would become something that never happened. I'm scared. I'm scared. I don't want to disappear either. I wanted to be with him longer. I wanted to tell him I loved him, even just once. A tear fell onto the screen and blurred it. But. "[crying]...In a world where Okabe-san can smile." My voice trembled. "It's okay if I'm not there. But..." I looked up and faced Kurisu-san. She was crying too. "[crying]But I loved him. Truly, with all my heart." This was my first and last confession of love, directed at Kurisu-san. She pressed her lips tightly together, tears spilling down her face, and nodded firmly, deeply. I placed my trembling finger over the send button. I would press it. The switch to make myself disappear. I put strength into my finger. Just a little more. —My finger stopped. My heart pounded painfully, thumping wildly. *(I'm scared.)* My finger trembled. Someone was screaming inside my head. *Stop. Don't press it. You still want to live, don't you?* But another, quieter voice whispered. *(Press it. That's what you came this far for, isn't it?)* The two voices swirled around and around in my head. The final enemy I had to fight wasn't the world, and it wasn't fate. It was my own tiny, single ego—the part of me that didn't want to disappear. All my nerves concentrated on my fingertip. Can I press it? Can I not press it? Inside the lab, only the low hum of the Phone Microwave's cooling fan echoed. Kurisu-san just watched over me, crying. My battle begins here. My finger remained frozen, trembling. The night had yet to break.