In Tokyo-3, the battles against the Angels have almost become routine. But for Shinji Ikari, pilot of Eva Unit-01, a single, painful question gnaws at his heart. His father and NERV Commander, Gendo Ikari, has never praised him. He's never even had a real conversation with him.
Caught in this gloomy mood, Shinji bickers as always with his classmate and Eva Unit-02 pilot, Asuka Langley Soryu. 'How long are you gonna mope around?! Do something for yourself for once!' Asuka yells. Shinji mutters b
Evangelion IF: Tomorrow, with a Smile - New us, illuminated by the setting sun
The smell of disinfectant. A white ceiling. The rhythmic beeping of machines.
Shinji opened his heavy eyelids. His whole body felt as sluggish as lead. Bandages were wrapped around his arms, and a faint pain still lingered in his fingertips.
This was NERV's hospital.
(...I'm alive.)
In his hazy consciousness, Shinji recalled what had happened after the battle. The Angel vanishing into particles of light. Holding Asuka in his arms amidst the rubble. Her crying out loud.
From the next bed, he could hear soft breathing.
He slowly turned his head to find Asuka, covered in bandages, fast asleep. Her blonde hair was loose and scattered across the pillow, her usual twin-tails gone. A white bandage was wrapped around her head, and her left arm was immobilized in a cast. Dressed not in her plugsuit but in a thin hospital gown, she looked somehow very small.
(Asuka...)
Shinji caught his breath.
Looking at her face made his chest tighten. The words she had shouted during that battle came flooding back.
*"I've always... always liked you."*
She meant it.
She really meant it—Asuka, about me...
Thinking that far, Shinji felt his cheeks grow hot.
Just then, Asuka's eyelids twitched.
Her blue eyes slowly opened. Still sleepy, unfocused. When they found Shinji's face, they widened for a moment in surprise.
"...Shinji?"
Asuka's voice lacked its usual force; it was hoarse.
"...Yeah. You're awake."
At Shinji's words, Asuka's face suddenly flushed red. As if realizing what she must look like right now, she hurriedly pulled the blanket up to hide half her face.
"Wha—what are you doing, sleeping in a place like that!?"
She tried to yell in her usual manner, but her voice was too hoarse to manage it. Asuka bit her lip in frustration.
"...I was worried about you. I've been here the whole time."
Shinji spoke while looking at his own bandaged hands.
"I wanted to make sure I was watching over you until you woke up."
Asuka fell silent.
Her fingers, gripping the blanket, trembled slightly.
"...Are you stupid?"
It was a tiny voice.
"You're hurt too. You never think about yourself at all."
Her voice, though trembling, was somehow gentle.
"...Because you saved me, Asuka."
Shinji looked straight into Asuka's eyes.
"For the first time, I was able to fight by my own will. It's all thanks to you."
At those words, Asuka's eyes opened wide.
And then, those blue eyes quickly began to glisten.
"...You, saying something like that..."
She started to speak, but the words caught in her throat.
She squeezed her eyes shut, her lips trembling. Then, just slightly, she turned her face toward Shinji.
"...Thank you."
A single tear fell onto the pillow.
Shinji couldn't say anything. He just felt a gentle warmth spreading deep in his chest, desperately holding back his own tears.
That day, for the first time, the two of them shared a small, embarrassed laugh.
***
Several days passed.
"Alright, congratulations on being discharged!"
Misato's cheerful voice echoed through the hospital lobby.
As always, her long black hair loosely tied back, she carried large bags in both hands. Inside, apparently, were a change of clothes for Shinji and Asuka, along with a small bouquet of flowers as a discharge gift.
"Man, you two really did great! I'll drive you home today, so just relax and follow me!"
Smiling broadly, Misato gently pushed Shinji and Asuka forward by their backs.
"...Misato, your driving is crazy rough."
Asuka winced a little, her arm in the cast still seeming to hurt, but the corners of her mouth were smiling.
"Thank you, Misato-san."
Shinji bowed his head politely.
As they got into the car, the streets of Tokyo-3 flowed past the window. Scars from the battle still remained here and there, but people were already beginning to resume their daily lives. Housewives carrying shopping bags walked in front of the shopping district, and children ran around in the park.
Misato's car came to a stop in front of the Comfort 17 apartment building.
"Alright, home sweet home for the first time in a while! I was thinking we'd eat out for a change today, but—"
Misato turned around and looked at Shinji and Asuka's faces.
Neither of them had fully recovered from their exhaustion. The few days spent in the hospital had been too short for their physical strength to return.
"...On second thought, let's just take it easy at home today. I'll make you some okayu."
Misato spoke in a gentle voice.
"Misato, cooking...?"
Asuka shot her a suspicious look.
"How rude! I can at least make rice porridge!"
Laughing, Misato ushered the two of them inside.
In the living room, Pen-Pen was waddling around leisurely as always. When she opened the refrigerator, it was properly stocked with ingredients. In her own way, Misato must have been waiting for them to come home.
"Shinji-kun, you sit down. Asuka, you can't really help with that arm, right?"
Misato efficiently filled a pot with water and began washing the rice. Normally so careless, today of all days she was cooking carefully, meticulously.
The pleasant sound of a kitchen knife chopping came from the kitchen.
The gentle aroma of rice porridge spread throughout the room.
Sitting on the sofa, Shinji breathed in that scent.
(...This is warm.)
The thought came to him suddenly.
Until now, this place had just been "a place to stay." A temporary home Misato had prepared for him. But now, it felt different.
This is the place I come home to.
"...Shinji."
Asuka's voice came from beside him.
Looking over, she was fiddling with the bandage on her left arm with her right hand, a slightly troubled look on her face.
"...This got a little loose. I can't rewrap it well by myself, so... could you help me?"
Asuka spoke while looking away awkwardly.
"...Yeah. Sure."
Shinji sat down next to Asuka and carefully began unwinding the bandage.
What appeared from beneath the white cloth was a large abrasion from the battle, along with countless small cuts. Still red, painful just to look at.
"...It must have hurt."
Shinji murmured quietly.
"...This is nothing. Your hands are the ones that are all torn up."
Asuka spoke tough, but her voice trembled.
Without a word, Shinji gently began wrapping a new bandage around her arm. His movements were clumsy, but he did it carefully, so carefully.
Asuka stared intently at his hands.
From the kitchen, Misato's humming could be heard. Pen-Pen was cooing.
Just then, Asuka's right hand softly rested on top of Shinji's.
"...Asuka?"
When Shinji looked up, Asuka was bright red.
"...With this, we're even."
In a voice so small Misato wouldn't hear.
"You saved me, so I saved you. ...That's all it is."
Her hand trembled faintly.
Shinji's heart skipped a beat.
"...Yeah. Thank you, Asuka."
Shinji, too, spoke in a small voice so Misato wouldn't hear.
For just a brief moment, their hands clasped tightly together.
When the bandage was finished, Asuka pulled her hand back shyly and said only, "Thanks."
Her face was still red.
***
Evening came.
Looking out the window, the sky was beginning to turn orange.
Asuka suddenly stood up.
"...Shinji. Come up to the rooftop for a minute."
"...Huh?"
"Just come on!"
Holding her cast-bound left arm close, Asuka quickly left the room. Shinji hurriedly followed after her.
When they stepped out onto the rooftop, a huge sunset greeted them.
The sky was dyed a blazing red, and the distant mountains rose up as black silhouettes. The wind blew pleasantly, gently swaying Asuka's golden hair.
"...Beautiful."
Shinji murmured without thinking.
Asuka leaned against the fence, gazing at the sunset. Her profile, lacking its usual energy, seemed somehow lonely.
"...Hey, Shinji."
After a while, Asuka spoke.
"Back then, I said it, right? That I've always liked you."
"...Yeah."
Shinji felt his heart pounding like a warning bell.
"That... I meant it."
Asuka spoke without looking away from the sunset.
"When I thought I was going to die, I realized it. I had to say it. If I died without saying it, I'd definitely regret it."
Her voice was earnest.
"I've never been able to rely on anyone until now. No one ever needed me. ...But Shinji, you were different."
Asuka slowly turned to face Shinji.
Her blue eyes, illuminated by the sunset, sparkled like jewels.
"You really looked at me. That night, you listened to me. ...That's why I couldn't just leave you when you were in trouble."
"...Asuka."
Shinji's eyes grew hot.
"It's the same for me."
Shinji didn't look down; he looked straight into Asuka's eyes.
"I always thought I wanted to fight for someone. But I never knew that fighting by my own will could be this terrifying, and this... burning."
A single tear ran down Shinji's cheek.
"Because you protected me. Because you told me you needed me. For the first time, I felt like I could fight on my own."
"...Idiot."
Tears spilled from Asuka's eyes too.
"It's only natural that you'd fight by your own will. Even without anyone telling you, you're strong."
"Yeah. ...Thank you."
Shinji smiled through his tears.
Asuka smiled through her tears too.
The sun slowly sank.
Their shadows stretched long across the rooftop floor.
Summoning his courage, Shinji reached his hand out toward Asuka's right hand.
Their fingertips touched.
Asuka flinched for an instant, but immediately squeezed his hand back.
"...Your hand is cold."
"...Your hand is warm, Asuka."
The two of them shared an embarrassed laugh.
Then, until the sun had completely set, they stood there holding hands, gazing intently at the sky.
***
The next morning.
"Gooood morning!"
Shinji woke up to Misato's energetic voice.
When he went to the living room, miso soup, rice, and grilled fish were laid out on the table. Misato must have gotten up early to make it.
"Misato-san, this is amazing..."
"Once in a while! Alright, you two, sit down, sit down!"
When Shinji took his seat, Asuka sat down next to him as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
"...Morning."
"Morning."
The two exchanged a small greeting.
Misato watched them closely.
Shinji's eyes were no longer dead. They held a lively expression—somehow happy, yet embarrassed. Asuka, too, wasn't wearing her usual sullen face; her cheeks were faintly flushed as she sat beside Shinji.
(...Heh. I'm glad.)
Misato said nothing, just smiled gently.
"Thank you for the food."
Their three voices overlapped.
A familiar breakfast, after so long.
But something had changed.
For Shinji, it was a first.
For Asuka, it was a first too.
Relying on someone. Being by someone's side.
They had finally learned just how warm that could be.
"Thanks for the meal. Now, you two, get ready for school!"
At Misato's words, Shinji and Asuka looked at each other.
"...Yeah. We're off."
For the first time, Shinji replied with a bright face.
At those words, Misato's eyes grew slightly moist.
***
The road to school.
The morning in Tokyo-3 was the same as always. Salarymen headed for the station, housewives shopped in the shopping district. The scars of battle were gradually being repaired, and the sounds of construction could be heard all over the city.
Asuka and Shinji walked side by side.
"Hey, Shinji! Look, that convenience store!"
Asuka tugged sharply on Shinji's arm.
A large poster was stuck to the convenience store entrance. *"Limited Time! New Strawberry Milk Ice Cream!"* The pink lettering was an aggressively eye-catching design.
"I saw this on the news yesterday! It's definitely delicious! Let's get some!"
"...You're so pushy as always."
Shinji gave a wry smile.
But he didn't mind it.
Asuka pulling on his arm like this. Her inviting him to eat ice cream together.
It all felt so natural somehow.
An ordinary, normal daily life.
Thinking that, a gentle warmth spread deep in his chest.
"...Yeah. Let's get some."
Shinji nodded honestly.
"Obviously!"
Asuka laughed happily and pulled
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