In 2015, Tokyo-3. Fourteen-year-old Shinji Ikari is summoned by his father Gendo and ordered to pilot the giant mecha Evangelion Unit-01. But the moment he enters the cockpit, a rainbow-colored light bursts from the unit and envelops him. When the light fades, Shinji's body has become that of a girl.
"Wha... what is this... I'm... me...?"
Shinji's pronoun shifts from 'boku' to 'watashi,' and both voice and physique are completely transformed into those of a young girl. Before the panicking Shi
Evangelion: Gender Pandemonium - Broken Bonds, Reaching Feelings — Ayanami Rei Who Became a Boy
The morning light felt sharper than usual.
Ikari Shinji passed through the gates of First Municipal Middle School. Their black, slightly wavy semi-long hair swayed gently above their shoulders with each step. The earring on their left ear caught the morning sun and glinted.
(So it's school again today.)
Ten days had passed since they'd boarded Evangelion Unit-01 and their body had changed. They'd grown completely used to the girls' sailor uniform and the pleated skirt. The fact that they'd gotten used to it scared them a little.
The schoolyard was already full of students. Members of sports clubs, probably in morning practice, were running laps in their gym uniforms. Voices chatted. Laughter rang out.
Shinji walked through it all alone.
"Good morning, Ikari-san."
A girl student who passed by called out softly.
"Ah, good morning."
Shinji hurriedly smiled.
The girl looked relieved and walked on.
(Everyone's been kinder lately.)
Since the day they'd collapsed in the classroom.
No — more precisely, since Asuka had started showing symptoms of the curse.
The gazes around them had shifted from curiosity to sympathy. That careful, walking-on-eggshells attitude. It stung all the more for it.
(I'm a pitiful child.)
The thought made their legs feel heavy.
——
When they entered the classroom, the morning chatter stopped for just a moment.
"Oh, Ikari-san, morning."
"Good morning."
They headed to their seat.
On the desk was yesterday's homework printout. A math quiz. In the name field, they wrote "Ikari Shinji."
(This name — it's mine, but it feels like someone else's.)
They set down the pen.
That was when it happened.
Their hand flickered with light.
A faint, rainbow-colored glow.
"...What?"
They looked at their palm.
The light spread from their fingertips to their arm, to their shoulder.
(What is this?)
Their body was hot.
Their vision flickered and pulsed.
"Kyaa!"
A scream went up.
Shinji looked down at their own body.
The sailor uniform grew baggy.
Their shoulders broadened, their chest flattened.
Their fingers thickened.
Their voice dropped.
"W-why..."
Their own voice.
A low, boy's voice.
(I'm back.)
For just an instant.
Just a few seconds.
They had returned to a boy's body.
Then the light ran through them again.
This time, the opposite direction.
Shoulders narrowed, waist curved in, chest swelled.
Voice rose.
"...nngh."
Their body was changing on its own, regardless of their will.
(Stop.)
(Please, stop.)
They screamed inside their mind.
But the light wouldn't stop.
"U-ah..."
They clung to the desk.
Fingers grew slender, then thick again.
"Ikari-san!?"
"A-are you okay!?"
Classmates shot to their feet all at once.
Screams.
Commotion.
"What is that...?"
"The curse... again..."
"You shouldn't get close to them!"
The voices sounded far away.
The light finally subsided.
Shinji looked at their hands.
Slender, white fingers.
A girl's hands.
(I'm back...)
(But who knows when it'll change again.)
Their fingertips trembled with fear.
——
Even when first period began, the classroom air stayed heavy.
No one would look at Shinji.
No — they were looking.
Stealing glances, furtive looks.
"Did you see that earlier?"
"Yeah. Their body kept switching back to a boy and then a girl on its own."
"Scary..."
Deliberately audible whispers.
Shinji was doodling in their notebook.
Meaningless, spiraling lines.
(I can't take this anymore.)
(I shouldn't have come to school.)
But if they didn't come, Misato would worry.
And who knew what Asuka would say.
They hung their head.
That was when it happened.
Bang!
A loud noise, and Asuka stood up.
Her orange-tinged auburn twin-tails swayed violently.
"Hey, hold on!"
The whole classroom went silent.
Asuka turned toward Shinji.
Her blue eyes blazed sharply.
"What was that earlier!? Glowing in the middle of class, turning into a boy and then a girl!"
"A-Asuka-san..."
"Aren't you the source of the curse!? Ever since you got into the Eva, everyone's been going weird!"
Shinji's breath stopped.
Every gaze in the classroom stabbed into them at once.
"My body's going weird too! My hair color's draining out, my voice is changing! Isn't it all your fault!?"
Asuka's voice was trembling.
Not anger.
Fear.
Fear of her own transformation.
And it was spilling out in the form of accusations at Shinji.
(I know.)
(I know Asuka-san is scared.)
But still.
"...I'm sorry."
That was all Shinji could say.
"Sorry doesn't fix this! If you hadn't gotten into the Eva, maybe I wouldn't be like this, maybe none of us would!"
"Asuka-san, that's too much."
"Yeah, it's not like Ikari-san chose this..."
"Shut up! This has nothing to do with any of you!"
Asuka's shout silenced the room again.
Shinji couldn't move, head still bowed.
(It's my fault.)
(Because I got into the Eva.)
(Because I'm spreading the curse.)
Tears threatened to spill.
They gritted their teeth and endured.
Asuka opened her mouth as if to say something.
But she said nothing, and stormed out of the classroom.
Slam!
The violent sound echoed through the room.
Shinji was left alone.
——
After school.
Shinji was walking through the underground corridors of NERV HQ.
(I don't want to go home.)
(I don't want to see Asuka-san.)
(But there's nowhere else to go.)
Their feet had carried them naturally toward NERV HQ.
Here, at least, they could be alone.
That's what they thought.
The corridor was cold and quiet, as always.
White fluorescent lights.
Inorganic walls.
The distant hum of machinery.
Shinji walked without purpose.
"...An archive?"
There was an unfamiliar door.
A plate reading "Authorized Personnel Only."
But it wasn't locked.
(I'll just take a quick look.)
If someone found them, they might get in trouble.
But they didn't care anymore.
They opened the door.
The smell of old paper.
A dim room.
Shelves stretching to the ceiling.
Files packed densely in rows.
"Amazing..."
Shinji walked between the shelves.
"Combat Records." "Angel Analysis." "Pilot Aptitude Tests"...
Files with all kinds of labels.
Then one file caught their eye.
"Gender Replacement Plan."
Shinji stopped.
(Gender... replacement...)
Their hand trembled.
They pulled out the file.
Opened the cover.
Inside was something unbelievable.
"Gender Replacement Protocol — Activation Test. Subject: Ikari Shinji."
"Prior to Unit-01 activation, the protocol was functioning normally. Confirmed elevation of mental plasticity."
The date was far before Shinji had ever boarded Unit-01.
(No way...)
(Since before I ever got into the Eva...)
They turned the page.
"Destabilize the subject's mental identity to raise synchronization rate with the Angels."
"This is the first stage of the Human Instrumentality Project."
And the final page.
There were signatures.
"Ikari Gendou."
"Akagi Ritsuko."
Shinji collapsed on the spot.
(Father did this...)
(Ritsuko-san too...)
(They knew everything from the start...)
(They made me an experiment...)
The tears wouldn't stop.
"U-ah..."
A voiceless sound escaped them.
(Was all my suffering planned?)
(The terror of my body changing, being blamed by Asuka-san...)
(Was it all because of Father?)
They couldn't trust anyone.
Not Misato.
Not Ritsuko.
Not Asuka.
Did everyone know?
(I can't take it.)
(I want to disappear.)
Shinji crumpled onto the floor.
——
How long had they been like that?
When they came to, the corridor lights had switched to night mode.
A dim hallway lit only by emergency lights.
Shinji staggered to their feet.
(I have to go home.)
(But where is home?)
Their legs were heavy.
Their heart was empty.
They walked down the corridor.
Only their own footsteps echoed, unnaturally loud.
Click.
That was when it happened.
"Ikari-san."
A voice.
Shinji raised their head.
At the end of the dim corridor stood a figure.
A short bob of pale, bluish-silver hair.
Deep crimson eyes with a faint red tint.
A tall, slender form.
"Rei...san?"
Ayanami Rei, now a boy, stood there.
"...I've been looking for you."
Rei approached quietly.
"Why are you here...?"
"Misato-san contacted me. She said you hadn't come home from school."
"...I see."
"Have you been here this whole time?"
"...Yeah."
Rei stared intently at Shinji's face.
"Were you crying?"
"...What?"
"Your eyes are red."
Shinji hurriedly rubbed their eyes.
"...I'm fine. It's nothing."
"That's a lie."
Rei's voice was flat.
"You don't make that face when you're fine, Ikari-san."
"...Rei-san."
"Can you tell me?"
Shinji went silent.
How could they possibly tell?
That their father had made them an experiment.
That the curse had been orchestrated from the very beginning.
"...If you don't want to talk, that's all right."
Rei stood beside Shinji.
"But please, don't be alone."
"...What?"
"I'm worried about you."
Rei's voice was as flat as ever.
But the words were direct.
"...Rei-san, you're weird."
"Am I?"
"Yeah. But... thank you."
Shinji smiled faintly.
It was the first time in a long while that they'd been able to smile.
"Ikari-san."
Rei stepped around to face Shinji directly.
The crimson eyes looked straight at them.
"You are fine just as you are."
"...What?"
"Even if your body changes, whether you're a boy or a girl, Ikari-san is Ikari-san."
Rei's words settled slowly into Shinji's chest.
"I like you."
Shinji's eyes went wide.
(What did they just...)
"Rei-san... that means..."
"Exactly what it sounds like."
Rei's lips softened, just slightly.
"Whether you're a boy, a girl, or neither. I like you, Ikari-san."
"...That's..."
Tears spilled over.
They couldn't stop them.
"I was made into an experiment by my father... the curse was all set up from the start... all my suffering was planned..."
Crying, Shinji told them everything.
About the file in the archive.
Their father's signature.
Ritsuko's name.
That they'd been an experiment from the very beginning.
Rei listened in silence.
"I can't trust anyone anymore..."
"Then trust me."
Rei took Shinji's hand.
"I'm on your side, Ikari-san."
"...Rei-san."
"I will protect you."
Rei's hand was warm.
It was a boy's hand, and yet it was gentle.
"Thank you... Rei-san..."
Shinji buried their face in Rei's chest.
The tears wouldn't stop.
But they were a little different from the tears of despair before.
——
That was when it happened.
Shinji's body began to glow.
A strong, rainbow-colored light.
"Huh... not again..."
Their body was hot.
This time, it was nothing like the morning.
More intense.
"No... stop...!"
Their body warped and twisted.
A boy's body.
A girl's body.
Something in between.
The light flickered.
"Rei-san... help me..."
"Ikari-san!"
Rei embraced Shinji.
"It's all right. I'll protect you."
Rei's arms wrapped tightly around Shinji's body.
"I'll always be by your side."
The light gradually subsided.
But Shinji's body didn't fully stabilize.
They looked at their hands.
Slender fingers.
But somehow, they felt a little more bony than before.
(It might change again.)
(I don't know when.)
Their body trembled with fear.
"Calm down."
Rei gently patted Shinji's back.
"Breathe slowly."
"...Okay."
Shinji took deep breaths in Rei's arms.
They could hear Rei's heartbeat.
A steady, calm sound.
"...Are you a little calmer now?"
"...Yeah. Thank you."
"No need."
Rei didn't let go.
"...Rei-san, what's going to happen to me from now on?"
"I don't know."
Rei answered honestly.
"But there's one thing I'm certain of."
"...What?"
"I will be by your side."
Rei's words were simple.
But that one sentence warmed Shinji's heart, just a little.
——
NERV HQ. Command Center.
In the dim room, the pale blue light of monitors flickered.
Ikari Gendou sat in the commander's seat, staring at the screen.
On the monitor, Shinji's biometric data was displayed.
The numerical values indicating gender swung wil
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