My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected. IF ~Yukinoshita Asks One More Time~ - And then, the clubroom fell silent.

The evening sun streaming through the window dyed the clubroom orange. I, Hikigaya Hachiman, was in my usual spot—the seat closest to the door—sipping my special chino little by little while reading a paperback. It's a concoction of espresso I bought at Saizeriya, cut with Max Coffee. Whether you can actually call it coffee is debatable, but well, it tastes good, so whatever. I flipped through the pages. This was Dazai Osamu's *No Longer Human*, I think. Something I'd randomly pulled off Yukinoshita's bookshelf. In this clubroom on the fourth floor of the Special Building—yeah, the Service Club's clubroom—there's an old bookshelf by the window. The roughly eighty paperbacks lined up tightly on it are all Yukinoshita Yukino's personal property. Neither Yui nor I brought in a single one. I looked at the bookshelf. Natsume Soseki, Mori Ogai, Kafka, Camus... that's not normal personal property for a high schooler. And she doesn't even put covers on them. Just the bare paperbacks, exactly as they were when she bought them, lined up in perfect order. I can't tell if she's meticulous or just indifferent. When I dropped my gaze, there was a single cushion on the floor next to the desk. One that Yuigahama Yui had left behind. Pink, with the edges a little frayed. It was all fluffy when she first bought it, but now it's completely flattened. Even so, it's still here. Even though it's been two months since anyone sat on it. ——Two months, huh. I took another sip of my special chino. Bitter-like, sweet-like. A flavor I can't quite pin down spread through my mouth. There's no one in the clubroom but me. Of course there isn't. Yukinoshita doesn't come anymore. Yui doesn't come either. The Service Club remains in name only, but requests stopped coming in ages ago. And yet, for some reason, I'm the only one who still comes here every day after school like this. It's not like I'm waiting for anyone. It's just... comfortable here. ...Or so I think. Probably. *Creeeak*, came a sound from the hallway. My hand stopped. Just for an instant. I closed the paperback and strained my ears. It was just the wind rattling the window. No one's coming. I know that, but every time the door opens, my hands stop no matter what. I really need to do something about this stupid habit soon. I let out a sigh and opened my book again. ——That was two months ago, at the end of February. The rooftop of Sobu High School is normally locked. Only that time, Hiratsuka-sensei lent us the key. I don't really understand the reason now, but it was probably her own way of being considerate. The consideration of a single woman in her thirties, a passionate teacher who meddles way too much in her students' inner lives. The kind of thing you're not exactly grateful for. The sky was gray, the wind was cold, and spring still felt far away. In the shadow of the water tower, the three of us stood facing each other— "I, for you two—" Yukinoshita started to say. Her usual beautiful voice trembled just a little. Her long black hair swayed softly in the rooftop wind. Her blue eyes glanced at me for just a moment, then looked at Yuigahama Yui. Yui was looking down. Her fluffy brown hair swayed in the wind, hiding her face. Her pink muffler fluttered gently. I couldn't say anything. I didn't know what I was supposed to say. No, maybe I actually did know. But my mouth wouldn't move. Yui lifted her face. She smiled brightly. "It's nothing. Forget it." That smile was perfect. But her eyes weren't smiling. Yukinoshita said nothing. She just nodded silently. I only said, "Yeah." And that was the end. The three of us turned in separate directions and left the rooftop. That was the last of the Service Club. Surely, it had already ended at that point. ——If it was going to end anyway, it would've been better if it never started. I mutter that in my heart. But, is that really true? "It would've been better if it never started"—do you really think that? Another me whispers somewhere inside. I pretended not to hear it. The door opened. This time, without a doubt, by a human hand. "...So you were here." When I looked up, Hayama Hayato was standing there. His soft-looking brown hair was neatly styled with a refreshing look. His bright brown eyes were staring straight at me. Tall, with a good build, and his uniform worn perfectly. Just by standing there, he made the dim clubroom seem like it had suddenly leveled up. The man who reigns at the top of the school caste. That's Hayama Hayato. "What do you want?" "I heard the soccer club's practice equipment is in an empty classroom in the Special Building. I'm looking for it." *That's a lie*, I thought. The soccer club should be using the clubroom behind the gym. At the very least, they wouldn't keep stuff in the third or fourth-floor classrooms. It's rare for Hayama to lie. This guy was supposed to be honest with everyone, a man with no hidden sides. Hayama lightly scanned the clubroom, then his eyes stopped on the paperback in my hands. "That's Yukinoshita-san's, right." "...Yeah, pretty much." Hayama walked toward the window. The spot by the window that was Yukinoshita's usual place. Not the podium side or the door side, but the seat furthest in. Looking outside, he spoke in a quiet voice. "You're still here, huh." Those words were strangely heavy. *You're still here, huh*—what does that mean? Is he asking if I'm still in the Service Club? Or is he asking if I still haven't given up on Yukinoshita? Or is it sarcasm, like, you're clinging to the past but what's the point? It feels like all of them apply, and yet none of them do. I didn't answer. Without turning back, Hayama headed for the door just like that. When he passed by my side, he stopped his feet for just a moment. "See you." He left the clubroom. The footsteps grew distant. (*For Hayama to go out of his way to come here...*) He must have had something he wanted to convey. That guy has his own reasons. He puts on a nice-guy face, but he's surprisingly calculating too. Still, that way of saying "You're still here"—that genuinely sounded like pure surprise. Hayama knows. That I'm a loner, that the Service Club fell apart—he probably knows everything, and even so, he deliberately came here. Silence returned to the clubroom. I stood up. I looked at the chair by the window. Yukinoshita's usual spot. She always sat there, opening a paperback, placing her teacup down. Sitting up perfectly straight, with truly beautiful posture. I looked at the seat in the middle. Yui's usual spot. She always laughed brightly, inserting herself between me and Yukinoshita, reading the atmosphere and softening the mood. My spot is near the door. The furthest away. This arrangement represented the distance between the three of us exactly as it was. (*I'm still here.*) But is there any meaning in being in a place where no one is? I ask myself, but no answer comes. I picked up my bag. On the desk, my half-drunk special chino and the half-read paperback. I carefully closed the book and returned it to its original place on the shelf. I tidied up the desk lightly too. It's not that I'm particularly neat, but for some reason, with this room alone, I didn't want to make it dirty. I leave the clubroom. I went to lock the door, and my hand stopped. ——I won't lock it. No, I have to lock it, right? The management of the clubroom is technically the Service Club's responsibility. Not locking up is definitely bad. But my hand won't move. (*Someone might come.*) Impossible. No one's coming anymore. And yet, I can't lock the door. This unconscious behavior irritates me a little myself. In the end, without locking the door, I started walking. I cross the connecting corridor of the Special Building. A roofed passageway linking the Main Building and the Special Building. It's about fifteen meters long. Through the window glass, I can see the courtyard. The voices of the soccer club could be heard in the distance. Every time I pass through here, I think: This connecting corridor is a place that links the clubroom to the outside world. Until I'm ready to enter the clubroom, my feet stop here. Conversely, when I'm going home, once I pass through here, I return to reality. I crossed the connecting corridor completely and headed for the shoe lockers. When I exited the school gate, it was twilight in mid-May. The wind was slightly damp, with a vague hint of rain. Walking along the sidewalk beside the prefectural road, I head toward Inage Station. The zelkova trees lining the street swayed in the wind. The sidewalk was about two and a half meters wide. It's a four-lane prefectural road, and cars zoom past right next to you. Streetlights stand every thirty meters, so now, while it's still bright, they're just iron poles, but when it gets dark, they glow orange. Yukinoshita was here. No, I haven't met her yet. But four hundred meters ahead from here, soon she'll— No, that's wrong. Right now, I still don't know anything. I empty my head and keep walking. (*A genuine relationship, huh.*) I've always sought that. A relationship without deception, where you don't have to be afraid of getting hurt, something you can truly believe in. But if you seek something genuine, someone will definitely get hurt. I know that. I might hurt Yukinoshita. I might hurt Yui. I'll get hurt too. If that's the case, isn't it better to just stay like this, where no one gets hurt, graduate, and naturally drift apart? "...It's not better." My own voice spilled from my mouth. A relationship where no one gets hurt—that's a fake one. I already knew that long ago. Even so, I can't take that one step. The moment Yui swallowed her words on that rooftop, all of us stopped taking that step. Even though we stopped together, none of us can start walking again. Hayama's voice lingers in my ears. *"You're still here, huh."* Those words probably mean this: ——You're still standing still. Hayama sees right through me, completely. He probably envies me a little, for having something he doesn't, and yet he finds it frustrating that I can't move. I looked up at the sky. Thick clouds are starting to roll in. The hint of rain was stronger than before. (*I wonder if I'll go to the clubroom tomorrow too.*) No answer comes. But the fact that I came home without locking the door means I'll go there tomorrow too. I'm choosing that. I'm deciding for myself that I'm still here. When I turned right on the sidewalk, Inage Station came into view. The sign for the station building "Perie Inage" glowed faintly under the cloudy sky. People on their way home from work are being sucked into the station in droves. I blended into that crowd and walked the path to the East Exit. The Hikigaya household is an eighteen-minute walk from here. By the time I get there, it'll probably start raining. Thinking that, I quickened my pace just a little. *Plip.* Something cold hit my cheek. Rain. Without stopping, I kept walking. But, for some reason, I suddenly turned around. The sidewalk along the prefectural road stretched out straight, the row of streetlights continuing far into the distance. No one was there. Only the rain was just beginning to fall. ——On this road, someday, Yukinoshita walked alone. A memory of a future I haven't met yet faintly crossed my mind. Just my imagination. I shook my head and hurried home.

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Episode 1

Name: My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected. IF ~Yukinoshita Asks One More Time~
Author: Novelia

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