Neon Genesis Evangelion IF: Zeruel's Question, and My Answer... - A Family's Night, and the Choice for Tomorrow

The air in NERV Headquarters' command center was cold and taut. On the massive main screen, the damage status of Tokyo-3—destroyed in the recent Angel battle—was displayed in lifeless numbers. Only the sound of operators' fingertips tapping keyboards echoed through the quiet room, a steady clatter. In a corner of the command center, Katsuragi Misato clutched a terminal in her hand. Displayed on the screen was a formal notice from the Technical Division. *"Test Subject No. 1 (Ikari Shinji): Implementation Guidelines for Biological Testing of Angel Detection Ability"* Her long black hair, reaching down to her waist, was tied back in a single ponytail as usual. But her large brown eyes remained fixed on the terminal screen, not moving a fraction. Her neatly shaped eyebrows slowly drew together. *(...Biological testing?)* Misato tightened her grip on the terminal. Her fingertips turned white. Near the bottom of the screen, a message from Hyuga Makoto was quietly displayed. *"Misato-san, the Technical Division is serious. The plan is to take Shinji-kun into custody first thing tomorrow morning."* First thing tomorrow morning. The moment she saw those words, something inside Misato snapped with an audible *crack*. She shoved the terminal roughly into her pocket, spun on her heel, and left the command center. Her footsteps were far heavier than usual. The sound of her heels striking the metal floor echoed down the corridor—*clack, clack*. Staff members passing by turned to look at her with startled faces. *(Don't screw with me. Are you planning to use that boy as a test subject even more?)* As she walked, her mind went blank with rage. Just yesterday, she had confronted Commander Gendo, telling him not to treat Shinji-kun like a sample. And now, the very next day, the Technical Division was already moving. *(That man... he never had any intention of listening to me from the start.)* The coldness of the organization called NERV seemed to seep into her very skin. The private hospital room was as white and quiet as ever. Ikari Shinji sat up in bed. His entire body still felt heavy as lead. Whether it was the aftereffects of the Zeruel battle, or simply mental exhaustion—he himself couldn't quite tell. The afternoon light streaming through the window cast faint shadows across the white sheets. *(...I wonder if they're going to do something to me again starting tomorrow.)* Shinji stared blankly at the ceiling. Since fusing with Zeruel, his eyes sometimes saw the world in color. The colors of emotions. People's hearts flickered as outlines of light. Just now, from beyond the corridor, the colors of the Technical Division men in their white coats wavered in a grayish blue. *(Those people... they're investigating something about me...)* Research subject. Observation subject. Sample. The color of their emotions was cold, nearly colorless blue—like scholars preparing insect specimens. Shinji quietly wrapped his arms around himself. That was when it happened. The color in the corridor suddenly shifted to a violently bright orange. Anger. He could tell clearly. A blazing, scorching color of rage was approaching. *BANG!* The door flew open. "Shinji-kun, get ready! You're coming to my place starting today!" It was Misato-san. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes fixed and intense. She had taken off her NERV uniform jacket and was carrying it in her arms. This wasn't her usual Operations Director face—it was completely the face of a guardian. "...Huh? Your place... you mean, Misato-san's home?" Shinji blinked in surprise. "That's right. I'll pack your things. Anyway, hurry up. Come to my apartment. This is protection. It's not an order as Operations Director. It's my personal decision." The colors of emotion around Misato were a tangled mess—anger and impatience, but at the deepest level, kindness. Orange and red, but beneath them, a faint pink color was definitely flickering. *(This person... she's seriously trying to help me.)* Shinji felt he had to say something. But his throat wouldn't move properly. All he could do was silently nod once. "Good, that's a good boy. ...I'm relieved you answered me." Misato's voice suddenly softened. She stepped closer and lightly smoothed Shinji's disheveled black hair with a gentle ruffle. Her fingertips brushed ever so slightly against Shinji's forehead. That hand was warm. The eastern residential district of Tokyo-3. A six-story apartment building stood in one corner—Comfort 17. Misato's apartment was Room 11. The moment he opened the front door, Shinji froze solid. "...Whoa." The words escaped him involuntarily. On the floor: clothes scattered everywhere. Open snack bags. Empty beer cans stacked on the table like a pyramid. On the sofa, an unfolded blanket lay crumpled in a heap. "Ahaha... it's a bit messy, right? Sorry, it was sudden." Misato laughed without a trace of guilt. "I feel like 'a bit' might be an understatement..." Shinji muttered in a daze. Then, from under the refrigerator, came a small *tap tap* sound. Shinji flinched and stepped back. "S-something's... there! Under the refrigerator!" "Oh, that's Pen-Pen. My roommate. Come on out, Pen-Pen♪" What popped out from under the refrigerator was—a penguin. A hot springs penguin. A white and black body, small wings, a bright red beak. The penguin waddled over to Shinji's feet as if it owned the place, then looked up at him intently. "A penguin... why is there a penguin in an apartment...?" "Pen-Pen is special. He's my precious family. He'll warm up to you right away, Shinji-kun." Misato said happily, lightly patting Pen-Pen's head. Pen-Pen tilted its head and looked at Shinji. Shinji gave a small bow. "...Um, nice to meet you. I'm Ikari Shinji. Please take care of me." Pen-Pen opened its beak slightly and nodded once. Misato burst out laughing. "Ahaha! You greeted him so politely, that's adorable. And Pen-Pen responded properly too. Don't worry—this place might look like this, but once you live here, it's home." The colors of her emotions spread softly throughout the room. Bright orange and gentle pink. Calming colors. Shinji quietly took off his shoes. That evening, the two of them went shopping at a nearby supermarket. The sky over Tokyo-3 had remained in perpetual summer ever since Second Impact. Even though it was evening, the air was muggy and hot, and cicadas buzzed loudly. The leaves of the roadside trees were illuminated by the golden sunset, casting sharp shadows. Misato was in casual clothes. A white shirt and gray pants. Her long black hair was in a ponytail, swaying as she walked along swinging the shopping basket. "How about curry tonight? Shinji-kun, do you like curry?" "Yes... I like it. But I've never really made it..." "Don't worry, I'll make it! It's instant, but I'm pretty confident. The trick is sautéing the onions—" The supermarket's automatic doors slid open with a *whoosh*. The cold air felt pleasant against their sweaty skin. They were about to head toward the vegetable section when it happened. "—Hey, look at that." "That kid... I saw him on TV. The one who fused with an Angel." "Wait, seriously? Gross... is that really him?" "Apparently. They say his eyes turn gold." Loud enough to be heard—whispered voices. Shinji's back trembled. The colors inside the supermarket shifted. The emotions of the shoppers around them all pulled away from Shinji at once. Disgust. Fear. Contempt. Murky yellow, cold blue, and venomous purple formed a wall, keeping Shinji at a distance. Their gazes pierced into him. *(...Gross. Well, of course they'd think that.)* Shinji bit his lip. His chest tightened painfully. A monster fused with an Angel. He didn't even understand himself. Being avoided was only natural. He hung his head—and then. "Don't let it bother you." Misato's voice reached his ear. "You are you. I'll vouch for that. Whether you fused with an Angel or whatever—Ikari Shinji is Ikari Shinji. My Shinji-kun." Misato gripped Shinji's hand tightly. Her hand was far warmer and stronger than the fingertips that had touched him back at the apartment. Shinji raised his head. Misato glared sharply at the surrounding customers. "He's not a sideshow attraction. The rude ones here are you, aren't they?" The color of her anger burst outward. But the part where she held Shinji's hand remained warm orange. The customers who had been keeping their distance scattered awkwardly. Misato turned to Shinji and smiled brightly. "Come on, let's go. We're buying curry ingredients. ...Should I keep holding your hand?" Shinji nodded again and again. "...Yes. Please." Without letting go of each other's hands, the two of them bought curry roux, onions, and canned beer. Night. The apartment was filled with the smell of curry. Instant though it was, the curry—with its carefully sautéed onions—was surprisingly authentic. On the table sat two steaming plates of curry. And three cans of beer for Misato. "Alright, let's eat! Shinji-kun, don't hold back. Especially at times like this, eating your fill is the best thing you can do." "Thank you for the meal." Shinji brought a spoonful of curry to his mouth. "...It's delicious. Really." An honest reaction. Misato happily cracked open a beer can. A light *pshh* sound. "Right? When I can eat this curry, I feel like I'm still alive." She took a big gulp of beer. As they ate, the two of them talked in bits and pieces. About school. About Tokyo-3. About how to take care of Pen-Pen. But as the night deepened, Misato's expression gradually clouded over. By the time the second beer was empty. Misato murmured quietly. "...You know, Shinji-kun. I've lived my whole life thinking I mustn't run away." Shinji set down his spoon. In his eyes, the color of Misato's emotions was clearly visible. A deep indigo. The color of sorrow. The color of old wounds. A color she had never shown anyone. "...Mustn't run away?" "That's right. ...It's a story from fifteen years ago now. During Second Impact, my father... he put me on a lifeboat, and then he... was swallowed by the explosion." Misato stared at her beer can. "My father died saving me. And yet... for years afterward, I resented him. I thought, if only he weren't there, I could have been freer. I couldn't even cry." She smiled faintly. "Ridiculous, right? I resented the father who saved my life. ...So I decided. I mustn't run away. Because if I ran, my father's death would be meaningless. Even though I'm not an Eva pilot, I became the Eva Operations Director and fought the Angels... I kept telling myself that, over and over. Mustn't run away, mustn't run away, mustn't run away." Her voice was trembling. "Back then... what my father really felt when he let me escape... I feel like I understand a little now. ...When I look at you, Shinji-kun. I must never let this child die. That's all I can think about." Large tears spilled from her eyes. *Drip, drip*—they fell beside the curry plate. Shinji couldn't move. But his body moved on its own. Before he knew it, Shinji had walked around the table and sat down next to Misato. And he gently wrapped both hands around her trembling hand. "Misato-san." Shinji spoke. "I think you've already fought enough." Misato looked up. Her large brown eyes, wet with tears, gazed at Shinji. "So I think it's okay to run away. I think... it's okay for you to run away too, Misato-san. Together." His voice was shaking. But strangely, the words flowed out smoothly. For the first time, he was reaching out to someone else's pain of his own accord. "I'll be with you too. So... you don't have to carry it all alone. If you'll have me, I'll stay by your side..." The color of Misato's emotions began to melt. The indigo darkness slowly transformed into a warm color. Not orange, not pink. From deep within, something new softly blossomed into view. The color of family. "...You idi

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Episode 3

Name: Neon Genesis Evangelion IF: Zeruel's Question, and My Answer...
Author: Novelia

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