Neon Genesis Evangelion IF: Zeruel's Question, and My Answer...
Shinji Ikari was tired of everything. Fighting the mysterious Angels in Evangelion Unit-01, yet no one praised him. His father was cold, his comrades fractured. His heart was in tatters. Then, the strongest enemy, the 14th Angel Zeruel, attacks NERV HQ. Unit-01 runs out of power. The situation is hopeless.
'I can't take this anymore...!'
As Shinji screams in his heart, Zeruel's voice echoes directly in his mind. 'Why do you fight? Why do you cling to life so desperately?' It wasn't the voice o
Neon Genesis Evangelion IF: Zeruel's Question, and My Answer... - Even if the world ends, I will live with you.
The Eva-exclusive elevator descended deep into the dark depths of the Geofront, carrying the two of them. Each time a low rumble echoed—*gogogo*—the emergency lights on the walls flickered as if cowering in fear.
Shinji stared at his right hand. The hand that had touched Rei just moments ago. That small light he had found deep within her heart. He could still feel it lingering at his fingertips.
(*Rei... you wanted to live too.*)
That fact was unbearably warm, and painfully bittersweet.
Passing through the elevator entrance, that nostalgic place spread out before him.
The Eva Cage.
The massive vertical shaft where Unit-01 slept. The cold smell of LCL fluid stung the back of his nose. The storage facilities towering up to the high ceiling, illuminated by pale blue lighting, looked almost like a temple.
But the atmosphere was completely different from before.
Not a single person. No sounds of maintenance, no footsteps, no shouting. Just a cold, silent stillness.
Only Shinji's footsteps echoed unnaturally loud in the empty hangar.
Misato rushed over to Unit-01's containment bay.
"...What is this?"
Her voice was trembling.
The containment bay was bound with countless hoses and lock arms, layer upon layer. Thick cooling devices were attached, and white frost covered nearly half of the unit. All of it was a sturdy cage designed to ensure Unit-01 could never move again.
"SEELE is trying to seal Unit-01 no matter what. There's no way... this can be undone quickly."
Misato struck the console. But the screen only displayed red warnings, unresponsive. The bandages wrapped around her abdomen seeped slightly with her movements.
But none of that mattered to Shinji.
He walked unsteadily up to Unit-01. He craned his neck upward as far as he could.
That purple armor covered in frost. The giant's face. Unit-01 silently stared down at him.
(*...It's calling me.*)
Since fusing with Zeruel, Shinji could feel it. This wasn't a lump of machinery or a weapon. What slept here was his mother—and a part of himself.
Shinji gently pressed both hands against the glass of the containment bay. Ice-cold.
That was when it happened.
—*Thump.*
Something pulsed deep within Unit-01's chest.
The sound of a heartbeat. Shinji felt his own pulse slowly overlapping with that sound. Beneath the frost, a deep green light began to flicker slowly, as if responding.
"...Shinji-kun?"
He heard Misato gasp.
The frost began to crumble from above. As if the giant had stirred. Lock arms screamed, cooling devices detached one after another.
The freezing was naturally melting away.
Unit-01 was trying to answer Shinji's resolve.
Shinji clenched his fist.
"...Let's go. Together."
That voice wasn't meant for anyone to hear, yet it rang out with infinite clarity through the hangar's silence.
—Immediately after.
A shrill siren blared throughout the hangar.
"An alarm!? The JSSDF has noticed us!"
From the distance, the sound of heavy combat boots surged in like an avalanche. Red laser sights stretched countless threads through the darkness.
"Get down!"
Misato threw herself over Shinji.
Gunfire.
*Dadadadadadada!* A deafening burst of gunfire. Concrete walls were gouged with bullet holes, white dust billowing into the air. Bullets tore past right beside them with a whistling sound.
Strategic Self-Defense Force soldiers blocked the exit. A dozen or more. Black combat uniforms, helmets. Beneath the protective masks over their mouths, their eyes were cold.
"Freeze! Take one more step and we'll shoot to kill!"
A roar. But that voice trembled ever so slightly. Facing a boy fused with an Angel and NERV's capable Operations Director, even they felt fear.
Shinji could see it.
From the soldiers' hearts, black anxiety and a sense of duty to their mission overflowed in a jumbled mess.
(*These people are just fighting because they were ordered to.*)
Shinji bit his lip slightly.
Misato stepped in front of Shinji.
"Are you even human?! Pointing guns at a fourteen-year-old child!"
Her large brown eyes burned with anger.
"Shut up! This is the decision of the UN and SEELE. NERV is completely shut down. You are to be detained as traitors!"
"Traitors? Fine by me. It just means I love this boy and this world more than anyone else."
Misato glanced back at Shinji.
Her eyes softened for just a moment.
"Shinji-kun. It's okay. I'll open the way."
"Misato-san!?"
Misato quietly placed her hand on her abdomen. The place wounded by the blast from the bulkhead when they fled the underground shelter. Even through the bandages, blood was visibly seeping through.
"...You go. Get in the Eva and follow the path you've chosen."
"B-but, Misato-san...!"
—That was when it happened.
One of the JSSDF soldiers, half-crazed, fired.
*BANG!!*
A single bullet flew straight toward Shinji's chest.
Unavoidable.
The moment he thought that—
Misato's body slid in front of Shinji.
"—!!"
*Thud.*
A dull sound.
Misato's left shoulder burst open, and fresh blood scattered across Shinji's cheek like a red flower.
"Misato-san!!"
Shinji's scream echoed through the hangar.
Misato staggered, nearly dropping to her knees. But she gritted her teeth, refusing to fall, and gripped Shinji's hand with all her strength.
"...Silly. Don't worry about me. ...Go."
That hand was burning hot.
"Promise me. ...You absolutely have to come back alive! I'm going to hug you and say 'welcome home'!"
Tears spilled from Misato's eyes, one after another. Even so, she forced her lips into a smile.
Shinji's throat burned. Something was overflowing. Sad, painful, and yet impossibly dear.
(*Misato-san...*)
He couldn't say anything anymore.
To come back alive for this person. That was the best answer he could give her.
With his face still a mess of tears, Shinji squeezed her hand back once, firmly.
And then he ran.
Behind him, Misato's shout rang out.
"Your opponent is right here! Come on! Let me show you the full power of NERV!"
Gunfire and shouts mixed together.
Don't look back.
Must not look back.
Shinji sprinted at full speed toward the final access bridge to Unit-01.
With trembling hands, he opened the elevator-style boarding gate and sank his body into the cold LCL inside Unit-01's cockpit.
*Bubble bubble*—the liquid foamed as it enveloped Shinji's body. A metallic smell, as if mixed with blood. His vision distorted, his lungs filling with liquid. Hard to breathe. But he was used to it now.
"...Evangelion Unit-01, activate."
He could feel himself trembling. Tears dissolved into the LCL.
The main console emitted a pale blue light.
—Activation sequence, start.
*'Sync ratio, rising...'*
*'40%... 80%... 120%...'*
The numbers jumped wildly, as if insane.
*'200%... 400%... Unmeasurable.'*
*'Unit-01 has deviated from normal pattern range. Pattern Blue confirmed.'*
Shinji heard the mechanical voice shouting warnings from somewhere far away.
Flowing into his mind were Zeruel's memories. And the countless colors of human hearts.
(*I... will go.*)
(*At the center of the world, I will choose.*)
Unit-01's eyes glowed crimson.
Forty-eight lock arms screamed and shattered into pieces.
At that moment, the loading entrance to the hangar burst through its shutter from inside, and a single pale-blue giant leaped in.
Unit-00.
The machine of Ayanami Rei, who had stayed behind to hold off the security personnel. Its slender blue arm tore through the ceiling as it landed beside Unit-01.
*'Ikari-kun. Can you hear me?'*
The communication resonated directly inside Shinji's head.
"Rei...! Thank you."
*'I'll open the way. ...You go straight to that person.'*
Her words were the same as always. Quiet, brief. But deep within that voice, there was unmistakable will.
"Yeah... let's go."
Unit-01 kicked off the wall.
Toward the deepest part of the Geofront. Toward Central Dogma.
The two giants raced through the subterranean darkness at the speed of sound.
The water of the underground lake turned into great waves from the giants' footsteps alone. Security soldiers abandoned their anti-tank cannons and fled in utter panic. Conventional weapons could never work against an Eva.
Even so, Gendo's orders became physical walls standing before the two of them.
The Final Bulkhead.
A special steel wall dozens of meters thick, separating Central Dogma from the outside. A shield said to withstand even nuclear weapons—humanity's greatest defense.
*'Ikari-kun.'*
He heard Rei's voice.
"Yeah. ...I'll do it."
He slowly pressed Unit-01's palm against the bulkhead.
—A.T. Field, deploy.
The wall of the heart took physical form, enveloping the purple giant, biting into the steel wall before him.
*Gigigigi...*
The iron screamed.
"...!"
Cold sweat beaded on his forehead. His head felt like it was splitting open.
Even so, Shinji did not let go.
(*If I just wanted to break through by force, it would be simple. But...*)
(*I want a power that doesn't hurt people.*)
For the first time, he was trying to use the overwhelming power he had gained from Zeruel—not for "destruction," but for "passage"—by his own will.
*Gyarigyarigyar...!!*
The bulkhead bent outward from the center with a screeching sound, like flower petals opening.
He wouldn't let debris fly at people. He wouldn't twist the structure itself—he would push the very space apart.
Zeruel's power.
An Angel's power.
Used as a shield to protect the people precious to him.
"...Open...!!"
*DOGOOOON!!*
The Final Bulkhead was forced open like a giant iron flower.
At that instant, Rei slipped Unit-00 through, securing the path.
*'...Ikari-kun. What was that?'*
"Ah, haha... I surprised myself too. I didn't know I could use the A.T. Field like this."
Shinji gave a wry smile. His voice was slightly pitched from tension.
Then, from the other side of the communication, Rei let out a faint breath.
—Almost as if she had laughed.
*'...Yes. You can. I think it's a very you way of using it.'*
Those words were unexpectedly ticklish, and Shinji unconsciously felt the corners of his mouth loosen.
(*Rei... laughed?*)
Her grown figure was now, unmistakably, right beside him.
Central Dogma.
The deepest part of NERV Headquarters.
Even with the power of an Angel, that enormous space was still overwhelming.
The ceiling was far overhead. The light of the underground lake illuminated the surroundings in pale blue, like artificial mist.
At the very center of that space—
There was a white giant.
An organic, feminine white body. Countless masks were fused to its face. Its abnormally thin arms were crucified to a massive cross.
Lilith.
The beginning of everything.
And directly in front of that white giant's face—
A single boy stood alone in the air.
Nagisa Kaworu.
His silver hair swayed softly in the gentle light. His red eyes gazed kindly at them.
He looked at Shinji and smiled brightly.
*'We finally meet, Ikari Shinji-kun.'*
His voice seemed to ride the wind and resonate directly within Shinji's chest.
—*[Angel detected, maximum scale.]*
An alarm blared inside Shinji's mind. Something cold ran down his spine. He knew. This boy was the final Angel. A being with inhuman power, just like Zeruel.
But strangely, Shinji could not muster any will to fight.
Because the boy's heart was so transparent that he could see through it completely.
No killing intent, no hostility, no fear. Nothing.
Only unfathomable sadness and love filled his heart like calm water.
Shinji quietly brought Unit-01 to a stop before Lilith.
"...You're Nagisa Kaworu-kun."
*'Yes. I've been watching you from afar for a long time.'*
His voice was endlessly clear.
*'I feel like I can understand you. The shape of our souls is very similar.'*
Kaworu slowly spread his arms wide.
*'Now then, Ikari Shinji-kun. Here, at the place where everything began, I will give you one final question.'*
His red eyes shone deeply, like the edge of the universe.
*'The Human Instrumentality Pr
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