Neon Genesis Evangelion IF: Zeruel's Question, and My Answer... - Thank you, and anger towards my father.

NERV Headquarters, Command Center. On the massive main screen, the damage status of Tokyo-3, destroyed in yesterday's battle, was being displayed in a detached, matter-of-fact manner. The operators faced their terminals, and only the sound of impersonal keyboard clatter echoed quietly. Katsuragi Misato stood before the heavy metal door leading to Commander Ikari Gendou's office. (*Why am I being summoned...? Shinji-kun's condition hasn't even stabilized yet.*) Her long black hair, reaching down to her waist, was slightly more disheveled than usual. She hadn't slept a wink last night. Faint dark circles were visible beneath her large brown eyes. Even so, she straightened her back, put on the face of NERV's Operations Director, and opened the door. A dimly lit room. The eerie Tree of Sephiroth was depicted on the ceiling. Gendou sat beyond the desk, hands folded in front of him as always. His face was devoid of any expression, and it was impossible to tell what his eyes behind his glasses were even looking at. "Excuse me, Commander." Misato bowed and stood before the desk. Without a word, Gendou pushed a single document across the desk with his finger. It slid to a stop right in front of Misato. "...What is this?" The title of the document she picked up was—— *'Order for the Isolation of Test Subject No. 1 (Ikari Shinji) and Long-Term Observation as an Angel Sample'* In the signature field, the characters 'Ikari Gendou' were already coldly inscribed. Something inside Misato snapped. "...What is the meaning of this?!" She slammed the document onto the desk. Vice Commander Fuyutsuki, who had been standing by behind her, furrowed his brow slightly. But Gendou was unmoved. "It is as written." "Don't screw with me! Shinji-kun is a human being! He's your son, isn't he?!" "He has absorbed Zeruel's core. He is no longer a mere human. As a valuable sample, he must be placed under appropriate management." Misato's fists trembled. "A sample... you say...?! That boy is only fourteen years old! He fought the Angel, got hurt, and just barely woke up... and you still call yourself a father?!" Her voice shook the cold air of the command center. The operators momentarily stopped their hands and turned their gazes. Hyuga Makoto looked at Misato with worry, and Ibuki Maya let out a small gasp. Gendou kept his hands folded. "This is a settled matter, Major. I am not asking for your opinion." "Shut up...!!" Misato slammed both hands on the desk. The impact scattered the documents across the floor. "I don't know what you're thinking... but I will protect that boy! I absolutely will not hand him over! That's not a recommendation as Operations Director, it's my decision as a human being!!" Expressionless, Gendou adjusted his glasses. "...Dismissed." Fuyutsuki stepped forward. "Misato-kun, any further would be..." Misato bit her lip. Her vision went red with rage. But it was useless to say any more. Nothing got through to this man. She spun on her heel violently and headed for the door. (*I will protect him... I'm going to protect Shinji-kun.*) Clenching her fist, she strode briskly down the corridor. The private hospital room was quiet. A white ceiling. White walls. The faint smell of disinfectant hanging in the air. Only the late morning light streaming in through the window kept time moving in this room. Ikari Shinji slowly opened his eyes. (*...This is a hospital.*) His body still felt as heavy as lead. Even moving a single finger took tremendous effort. In his hazy vision, the fluorescent lights on the ceiling appeared blurred. Yesterday—or rather, he wasn't sure when it was—but after that battle, he still didn't feel like he was truly alive. Zeruel's voice seemed to echo in his head, making the back of his ears ring. (*What... happened to me?*) That was the moment he thought it. At the edge of his vision, colors flickered. "...Huh?" The color of the white ceiling shifted, just slightly, into another color. No, to be precise—he could see the color of something through the ceiling, from the other side. It was the corridor. Someone's emotions in the corridor slipped through the wall and leaped into Shinji's eyes. (*No way... what is this...*) Shinji strained his eyes desperately. The colors changed moment by moment. They swirled. A deep gray. That was guilt. A feeling of blaming oneself. Someone felt intensely responsible for something. And right next to that gray, as if trying to envelop it, was a soft, warm light, a mix of orange and pink. (*This is... affection...? Someone cares about someone else, deeply...*) He didn't understand it. And yet, somehow, he could comprehend it. That color felt like something Shinji knew very well. The door opened. "Shinji-kun...!" The moment Katsuragi Misato entered the room, the colors exploded outward. As if overflowing from her entire body, orange and pink light filled Shinji's vision. At its center was the deep gray he had seen earlier—guilt towards his father. And stronger than that, a pure, warm color of affection, like a mother holding her baby. (*Misato-san... this much...*) Shinji's chest tightened painfully. "Thank goodness... you're awake. Your fever... is still a little high, I guess. But your vitals are stable. I'm so glad, really." Misato rattled off rapidly as she stood beside the bed. Her long black hair was tied up as usual, but had bedhead. Her large brown eyes were slightly red, as if she'd been crying, but deep inside they were incredibly gentle. Her hand gently stroked Shinji's hair. In that instant, Shinji saw it clearly. (*Misato-san... thinks of me like her own child...*) She was genuinely worried. She genuinely wanted to protect him. (*Something like this... is a first for me...*) Tears spilled from Shinji's eyes. "Eh, Shinji-kun?! What's wrong, does something hurt?!" Misato peered into his face in a fluster. Shinji slowly shook his head. "...No... that's not it..." His voice trembled. His throat was parched, and he couldn't speak well. But he felt he had to say it now. If he didn't say it now, he felt he'd never be able to, for the rest of his life. "...Misato-san..." "What? What do you want to say?" Shinji looked straight into her eyes. In those brown eyes, the gray of guilt wavered, but the light of affection was trying to wrap around it. "...Thank you." Misato's movements stopped. "...Huh?" "Thank you... very much... for worrying... about me... this much..." The words tumbled out messily. "I... until now... no one's ever said anything like that to me... and I've never said it either... but... Misato-san... you truly... me..." His voice choked with tears. "Like family... you think of me... thank you..." Misato held her breath for a moment, then pressed both hands to her mouth. Her large brown eyes rapidly filled with tears. "...Shinji-kun... you..." The next moment, she was hugging Shinji's body tightly. "Of course I do, you idiot...!! You're my... precious family...!!" Misato's shoulders trembled. Warm tears fell onto the nape of Shinji's neck. (*Misato-san... is crying... for my sake...*) Timidly, Shinji lifted his own hand. And then, he gently touched Misato's back. The colors of emotion enveloping the two of them slowly blended together. The gray, the orange, the pink—everything came together, becoming a soft, warm light. (*Is this... what they call family...?*) Thinking that, Shinji quietly closed his eyes. That night, Shinji walked alone through the corridors of NERV Headquarters. The cold air bit into his body, just discharged from the hospital. The walls, the floor, the ceiling—everything was made of impersonal metal, and only his footsteps echoed, clack, clack. (*...I was called by Father.*) It had been just moments ago that his father, Ikari Gendou, had summoned him. A single line displayed on his communicator: 'Come to the Commander's office.' That was it. No explanation whatsoever. (*Why... now of all times...*) Shinji stared at his own hands. They were still trembling. Even though he'd been able to say those things to Misato-san, the moment he thought about his father, it was instantly like this. (*What... should I even say to Father?*) Ever since he fused with Zeruel, he had been able to see the colors of people's hearts. But he hadn't seen his father. Today would be the first time. (*What color... is Father's heart?*) He was scared. But a part of him also wanted to see. He wanted to know what his father was thinking. He stood before the heavy door of the office. (*Hah...*) Letting out a small breath, Shinji opened the door. A dimly lit room. The Tree of Sephiroth on the ceiling loomed faintly. Gendou sat beyond the desk, hands folded. The moment Shinji saw his face, colors spread before his eyes. "...Gh." He instinctively stepped back. The color he could see from his father was—— Pitch black. Nothing there. No emotion. No, that wasn't it. His emotions were hidden behind an incredibly thick wall. There was something beyond that wall. But he couldn't tell what it was at all. Just jet black. A deep, cold, bottomless darkness like a pit. (*Father... what are you thinking... why can't I see anything...*) "You've come." Gendou's voice had no warmth. "...Yes." Shinji stood before the desk, looking down. "I'll get straight to the point. You no longer need to pilot the Eva." "...Huh?" He looked up. Without changing his expression, Gendou continued. "By absorbing Zeruel's core, your body has become a sample of the same nature as an Angel. From now on, you will contribute to NERV not as a pilot, but as a research subject." A sensation of something slowly spreading filled Shinji's head. (*Research subject... sample...?*) "The isolation facility is already prepared. You will live there starting tomorrow and undergo regular examinations. Objections will not be accepted." Gendou kept his hands folded. Shinji stared into his father's eyes. The cold eyes behind the glasses. What lay beyond that wall of jet-black emotion—— (*I don't know... but...*) "That is all. Dismissed." It was just as Gendou waved his hand. Inside Shinji, an emotion he had never felt before began to bubble up intensely. (*Why...*) (*Why is Father always like this...*) (*When I piloted the Eva, when I defeated the Angel, he said nothing. He didn't praise me. He didn't scold me. He just used me like a tool...*) (*This time too... it's the same. He doesn't care at all how I feel. Just a sample. A part. A mere object to be thrown away when it's no longer useful——*) "...No." The voice came out. Shinji himself was surprised. He couldn't believe it came from his own mouth. The eyes behind Gendou's glasses moved slightly. "...What?" "I'm... not a doll...!!" Shinji desperately planted his trembling legs and looked straight up at his father. His whole body was shaking. His teeth chattered. He was so scared he wanted to run away right now. But—— (*I don't want to run away anymore...!*) "You... Father... you've always, always only seen me as something convenient for you...! I wanted you to praise me! That was all...!! Why... why do I have to be treated like a sample?!" His voice shook, and tears spilled out. Without even trying to wipe them, he shouted. "I... I'll decide my own life...!! I'm done being your doll...!!" Silence fell over the room. Gendou stared at Shinji for a few seconds, then, with his hands still folded, slowly opened his mouth. "...Nonsense. What can you possibly do? All authority lies with me. You simply need to move as ordered." Something inside Shinji snapped. "...No... that's wrong...!!" With a face messy with tears, he still shouted back. "I... won't do what you say...!! Absolutely not!!" At that moment—— BANG!! The office door was flung open with force. "That's enough, Commander!!" Katsuragi Misato burst into the room, her large brown eyes burning with anger. She positioned herself as i

日本語

What is Novelia? →

Episode 2

Name: Neon Genesis Evangelion IF: Zeruel's Question, and My Answer...
Author: Novelia

What is Novelia?

Novelia is an AI-powered platform to read original light novels and fan fiction, create your own in just a few taps, and chat with the characters. New, illustrated episodes arrive daily — free to start.

Learn more about Novelia →New sign-ups get 5,000pt